Guest Manky Posted October 16, 2017 Report Share Posted October 16, 2017 Our binmen didn't turn up today. I rang the local council only to be told that services may be disrupted as most of the staff were away invading Poland. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted October 16, 2017 Report Share Posted October 16, 2017 2 minutes ago, Manky said: Our binmen didn't turn up today. I rang the local council only to be told that services may be disrupted as most of the staff were away invading Poland. A poor young lad in Scotchland was crushed by a Pole yesterday Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted October 16, 2017 Report Share Posted October 16, 2017 1 minute ago, Lady Penelope said: A poor young lad in Scotchland was crushed by a Pole yesterday I saw a man with a long stick at the Olympics in London. I said, "Are you a pole vaulter?" He said, "Yes, I am Polish, how did you know my name is Valter?" Comedy classic, not one of mine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted October 16, 2017 Report Share Posted October 16, 2017 1 hour ago, Manky said: I saw a man with a long stick at the Olympics in London. I said, "Are you a pole vaulter?" He said, "Yes, I am Polish, how did you know my name is Valter?" Comedy classic, not one of mine. Heard it before but still very funny (except when told by Wither's Whiz or Stubbs). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted October 16, 2017 Report Share Posted October 16, 2017 10 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: Me too Ratty. I've got a couple of Hitlers in my shed which I'm at a bit of a loss as to what I should do with them. The neighbours complain when they make speeches late at night, stamping their little jackbooted feet etc'. Would you like them? Free if you collect, I'll throw in 30 lbs of bratwurst to feed them with too. They could convert and decorate one of your holes into a bunker, they're quite skilled painters. If you've been feeding them meat they'll be fucked. End of level boss Hitler was a veggie! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted October 16, 2017 Report Share Posted October 16, 2017 Just now, ratcum said: If you've been feeding them meat they'll be fucked. End of level boss Hitler was a veggie! Did being a veggie cause his defeat? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted October 16, 2017 Report Share Posted October 16, 2017 10 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: they're quite skilled painters. TBH young Adolf was a better than average artist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted October 16, 2017 Report Share Posted October 16, 2017 17 minutes ago, Lady Penelope said: TBH young Adolf was a better than average artist. Was refused entry to art school though, and advised to pursue architecture. He wasn't accepted for that either so he invaded Poland. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted October 16, 2017 Report Share Posted October 16, 2017 2 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Was refused entry to art school though, and advised to pursue architecture. He wasn't accepted for that either so he invaded Poland. He was only rejected because he was unable to pay his jews dues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted October 16, 2017 Report Share Posted October 16, 2017 22 minutes ago, ratcum said: If you've been feeding them meat they'll be fucked. End of level boss Hitler was a veggie! That's why he was shit at winning the war. Mine are clones, I got them from a Brazilian scientist named Jose Mengelos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted October 16, 2017 Report Share Posted October 16, 2017 2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: It's cruel to feed them on a vegetarian diet. My Hitlers have boundless energy and lovely shiny coats. I've heard that you can train them to shit in neighbours gardens. Is this true? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted October 16, 2017 Report Share Posted October 16, 2017 17 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Was refused entry to art school though, and advised to pursue architecture. He wasn't accepted for that either so he invaded Poland. Like you do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted October 16, 2017 Report Share Posted October 16, 2017 12 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: I've heard that you can train them to shit in neighbours gardens. Is this true? Yes, tricky though. You have to disguise the fence as an international border to encourage them to cross over and shit all over everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted October 16, 2017 Report Share Posted October 16, 2017 1 hour ago, Snatch said: Like you do. Like you do is the bane of my life. I must be the reincarnation of Otto Skorzeny. Every time I get pissed I seem to end up rescuing an Italian dictator from partisans. Funny that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted October 16, 2017 Report Share Posted October 16, 2017 1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said: Yes, tricky though. You have to disguise the fence as an international border to encourage them to cross over and shit all over everything. What about a narrow sea passage? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted October 16, 2017 Report Share Posted October 16, 2017 4 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: I've got a Reinhard Hydrich with car. But one of the back wheels is missing and the driver has no head. It was part of a 'Prague set' that came with a scaled model of St. Cyril's church, 5 Czech para troopers and a battalion of SS stormtroopers. Apparently you could fill the church up with water. No you haven't, you made this up, didn't you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted October 16, 2017 Report Share Posted October 16, 2017 25 minutes ago, Lady Penelope said: What about a narrow sea passage? My Hitlers have never learned to swim, they're all self conscious about getting changed into trunks and being ridiculed for monobollockism. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted October 16, 2017 Report Share Posted October 16, 2017 1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said: My Hitlers have never learned to swim, they're all self conscious about getting changed into trunks and being ridiculed for monobollockism. U Bots are the answer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted October 16, 2017 Report Share Posted October 16, 2017 54 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said: No you haven't, you made this up, didn't you? I don't have the set. Just the Heydrich and car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted October 16, 2017 Report Share Posted October 16, 2017 2 hours ago, Manky said: Like you do is the bane of my life. I must be the reincarnation of Otto Skorzeny. Every time I get pissed I seem to end up rescuing an Italian dictator from partisans. Funny that. It's the first step on a slippery slope Mankers. You'll soon be shagging Eva Peron and being recruited by the Mosside branch of Mossad. I'm sure Mrs Manky will be happy to provide you with a big jagged facial scar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted October 16, 2017 Report Share Posted October 16, 2017 1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said: It's the first step on a slippery slope Mankers. You'll soon be shagging Eva Peron and being recruited by the Mosside branch of Mossad. I'm sure Mrs Manky will be happy to provide you with a big jagged facial scar. It's Moss Side you dick, and my face is already like a road map of Kazakhstan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted October 16, 2017 Report Share Posted October 16, 2017 2 minutes ago, Manky said: It's Moss Side you dick, and my face is already like a road map of Kazakhstan I fucking know it's Moss Side, I was using grammatical license to fit it into the same sentence as Mossad, as Moss Sad didn't really work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted October 16, 2017 Report Share Posted October 16, 2017 3 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: I fucking know it's Moss Side, I was using grammatical license to fit it into the same sentence as Mossad, as Moss Sad didn't really work. Oh, sorry. I thought them were called Moss Sad. Silly me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted October 16, 2017 Report Share Posted October 16, 2017 2 hours ago, Manky said: Oh, sorry. I thought them were called Moss Sad. Silly me. Fackin' norvern monkey! (Manky) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted October 16, 2017 Report Share Posted October 16, 2017 7 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Fackin' norvern monkey! (Manky) Sticks and stones may break my bones. Calling me a northern monkey comes a distant second. Cockney wanker. (Best Viz character) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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