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Everything posted by Jiggerycock

  1. Jiggerycock

    The Independent Group

    Well of curse you haven't heard of these cunts! I like to think I'm across the political discourse of this great nation of ours but get past Corbyn, Mc Donnel, Abbott....Keir Starmer maybe....oh and Skinner of course and then you're really getting down into the Isthmian League of left-wing Titans aren't we - and that's just the way the Leadership likes it. Glastonbury going 'Ooooh Jeremy Corbyn' and Momentum doing the Stasi thubscrews bit on anyone who gets a bit chippy. For God's sake don't upset the personality cult - it's worse than getting off a Vodafone contract
  2. Jiggerycock

    Swindon's Honda Closure - now own your brexit.

    Tell you what, I'll 'own' Brexit when Leavers 'own' the fact they're scared and (small 'c') conservative. .....none of which gets us very far, becuse the whole Cecil B De Mille shit-show is being run by a shower of cunts you'd not trust to sit the right way on a toilet seat.
  3. Jiggerycock

    BREXIT Part XI

    I'm sick to the back teeth of the whole fucking shooting match. Lordly Remainers giving it the big one about how fucking brilliant Tusk is and how shit we are, failing to appreciate that they've done Jack Scheidt for 40 years whilst their 'project' rumbled on growing from The Common Market (a good thing) to a supra-national state (a bad thing) with an unelected cabal calling the shots Brick-thick Leavers wanking themselves senseless at the thought of an Aryan super state, just as soon as we send home,well, everyone with a suntan, failing to have read the smallprint about welcoming everyone with any talent from anywhere in the world. May lying her arse off. Corbyn being as much use as tits on a fish. Johnson plotting moves lke Boris Spassky and the political class revealing themselves as the venal, in it for themselves baboons they always have been, all presided over by Laura Kuensberg and her spam parallelogram gob, telling us all how it's going to be.
  4. Jiggerycock

    Trump's Wall (part 4)

    It's a fence now BTW Give it a couple of years and it'll be a privet hedge
  5. Jiggerycock

    Gino D'Acampo

    Who, Gino Di Campo or Paul Young? Either way, every time they go away, they take a piece of meat with them
  6. Jiggerycock

    Chris Grayling Seaborne Ferries

    Remember Tariq Aziz, Saddam's rather urbane, but totally hatstand spokesman during the second Iraq War? He was the guy who, whilst McDonalds were setting up their first franchise in downtown Bagdhad and American Marines were gurning into the camera behind him, was going 'Invasion? Defeat? Yeah ri-i-i-ight! We're kicking Uncle Sam's ass! Kicking ass and taking names!" That's who Grayling reminds me of. Fuck ups to the left. Calamities to the right. Coup and insurrection around the corner but this gormless cunt still pops up smiling going "Everything's cool folks and if it isn't - it's not my fault"
  7. Jiggerycock

    Women you fancy until you hear them speak

    Cunnilingus! Yeah! Party south of the border and if her thighs have enough adipose tissue going on, it cuts out any sound. Win- win
  8. Jiggerycock

    The never ending vigil for David fucking Bowie.

    Nah He was brilliant.
  9. Jiggerycock

    Peter Hegseth

    Send the soppy cunt into centre of Chernobyl to do a couple of hours intensive manual engineering there, because 'you can't see gamma rays'
  10. Jiggerycock

    Trinket collectors

    Which, once located clitoris-like after much searching, and used to gain access to their shrine to pre-packaged notional 'good taste', they are swept away by a tsunami of Danbury and Franklin Mint plates, commemorating a load of risible toot no one cares about.
  11. Jiggerycock


    She could have done if she'd have confirmed or denied the rumours about her having a rubber nipsy
  12. Jiggerycock


    No - because he refused to understudy that little pimp Constantine
  13. Jiggerycock

    Panorama cunts

    A shit-show on all fronts, with the usual 'if I talk all over someone I win' approach to debate. The only unarguable truth was the point about who the Labour Party represents in 2019
  14. Jiggerycock

    Martin Lewis

    I was only commenting on his public persona. He may well be a total polymath - bluegrass cellist, subject matter expert on the mating habits of the Matabele Gumbobee and the man who broke the bank at Monte Carlo - but he comes across as someone prepared to accept the opportunity cost of, umm, y'know actually living if it enabled him to chisel out another few quid a month from changing energy suppliers and putting the money saved into Geneva biting on this next consignement.
  15. Jiggerycock

    Martin Lewis

    Nah - that merely makes him a breadhead
  16. Jiggerycock

    Martin Lewis

    It was his paucity of imagination rather than your financial situation I was commenting on
  17. Jiggerycock

    Martin Lewis

    You can imagine this hyperventilating tit on his deathbead. Here lies Martin lewis. He never knew the names of the birds. He never saw the midsummer view down Wastwater from the summit of Great Gable. He never read the Russian poets or ate smoked salmon mousse out the arse of a Penthouse pet, whilst smashed up on Amyl Nitrate. He never knew the sheer joy of backing a 40/1 winner at Cheltenham or snaffling the last chocolate chip cookie. He never gazed upon the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel or threw a a punch in anger or pogoed down the front of a gig or saw Carlos Acosta or heard Andre Previn or went to Oberammergau or did the Cresta Run or did pints of Guinness with Talisker chasers. But by Christ he knew which broadband suppliers could save you tuppence ha'penny a month off your Internet bill!
  18. Jiggerycock

    George Fucking Ezra

    Yeah - but then I fall into that part of the Venn Diagram, 'cunts that can't exercise without having to spend millions on gear and prepping it and faffing about getting ready'. Trainers, shorts vest and I'm good to go. Anything additional smacks of effete tomfoolery, in fact, Spartan that I am, I even eschew the watter bottle. Eeee it's a proper issue and no mistake. Might just let my earwax take it's natural course.
  19. Jiggerycock

    George Fucking Ezra

    Herd about them? I assumed they were the driving impetus behind the original concept single 'Don't Stand So Close to Me (Unless You Want An Anus That Looks Like A Shotgun Wound On A Porpoise') - which as we all know, sadly had to be reworked and shortened on account of Punkers getting there first with his, ahem, 'boyband'
  20. Jiggerycock

    George Fucking Ezra

    What? You've never had the police smash your back doors in?
  21. Jiggerycock

    George Fucking Ezra

    I go to a gym where this cunt is on loop-tape, 24/7. A few months ago it was Rita Ora and then for a while, Arana Grande and I'm pretty sure yer man Ezra is about to be usurped by Jess Glynne and that shitehawk of a ballad she's got going on. God how I hate bland pop-stars and their dull, unchallenging, market-led pop music; still, it does provide a certain manic energy to my workout
  22. Jiggerycock

    Statue of Margaret Thatcher

    Liam Neeson?
  23. Get wierd on them - that's the only language these cunts understand. Them: " So if you give me the go ahead, accept you'll be getting these calls until hell freezes over, we'll be selling your details to Mr Innocent Smoothie of Nairobi as soon as you put the phone down and if we do by some miracle, secure you a PPI payout, that you'll be charged a userers sum that would make Fred The Shred at RBS shit treacle, then I can begin working on your case immediately, what do you say Mr Fucksake?" You: "I will recue your yacht that lays becalmed in Davy Jones' locker in yonder pond!"
  24. Jiggerycock

    Trolley Dippers

    These types generally lean over their trolley, using it as a quasi-Zimmer Frame, to help port their bovine mass (adipose-tissue spilling over trolley sides), around said supermarket.