Guest Keith Lard Posted November 28, 2014 Report Share Posted November 28, 2014 So I was sent to the shop by my mother for this week’s food shopping, as I’ll earn my weekly pocket money that way. As I entered my local Tesco I saw this really fit cashier at one of the check-outs. I thought really long and hard about how to ask her out. When I arrived at her the checkout I put my items on the conveyor belt and went up to the fit bird asking her how was her day. She said it was ok and then I said that she is now obliged to go on the date with me. She then giggled at me and then I took the tub of marmalade out of my shopping pile, opened the lid, scooped a chunk out with my fingers and rubbed it on one of my palms and I said that’s what I do to her bum with lubricant when we get home. She pulled a face and then I picked up a baguette roll and a bagel and demonstrated what I was going to do to her. She told me to stop otherwise she will call security and then I took some meatballs out the packet and then rubbed them all over her face. She then called security and one of the security guards came by. That guard apparently was the cashier’s boyfriend and when she told him what happened her grabbed me, dragged me outside Tesco, and began punching the living daylights out of me. Then I woke up in a shopping trolley outside my mom’s house. My mom came out and got angry at me for not bringing home the shopping. I’m now not getting any pocket money this month. Stupid bitch and that cunt security guard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted November 28, 2014 Report Share Posted November 28, 2014 3/10. But an improvement nonetheless. Wanker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 28, 2014 Report Share Posted November 28, 2014 Keith, keep that dirty dick inside your smelly pants you cherub looking motherfukker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 28, 2014 Report Share Posted November 28, 2014 I've never known anything like this! Why did he pick Cunts Corner? Keef, you're a fucking knobhead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted November 28, 2014 Report Share Posted November 28, 2014 3/10. But an improvement nonetheless. Wanker. A generous score, Jacko. Personally I give the stupid fat cunt 1/10, and that's only because I'm enjoying my first drink in a week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ducunti Posted November 28, 2014 Report Share Posted November 28, 2014 She should of taken out the jar of marmalade and hit you over the head with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted November 28, 2014 Report Share Posted November 28, 2014 I think that greatness might lurk within. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted November 28, 2014 Report Share Posted November 28, 2014 It must be a very long way within! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted November 29, 2014 Report Share Posted November 29, 2014 I think that greatness might lurk within. Within the fit cashier perhaps. But a void of vacuous fat fuckery in poor keith. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cuntcrapper Posted November 29, 2014 Report Share Posted November 29, 2014 Perhaps she didn't like Maramalade, try Honey next time Keith, hope you get well soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 29, 2014 Report Share Posted November 29, 2014 Next time you go to Tesco wear only a towel around your waist and just repeat "so sorry so sorry" and keep moving forward. If somebody stops you just say "Boy do I love sex". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted November 29, 2014 Report Share Posted November 29, 2014 Next time you go to Tesco wear only a towel around your waist and just repeat "so sorry so sorry" and keep moving forward. If somebody stops you just say "Boy do I love sex". Shouldn't that be "I do love boy sex"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 29, 2014 Report Share Posted November 29, 2014 Shouldn't that be "I do love boy sex"? You don't seem to miss the fine shades of meaning no matter how delicately put. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted November 29, 2014 Report Share Posted November 29, 2014 How did you get on at TESCO yesterday Brony? Did you manage to grab yourself a cheap TV? Not a flat screen one... A Transvestite, I mean. Fuck off idiot! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted November 30, 2014 Report Share Posted November 30, 2014 Which branch of tesco was this, keith? That security guard ought to get sacked for assault, the heartless cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 18, 2014 Report Share Posted December 18, 2014 Did you hear about the donkey who walked into Tesco in Brockenhurst recently visiting his relatives in the freezer cabinet? I hope you didn't have a hand in this, Keith? A donkey isn't a really a horse you know? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted December 19, 2014 Report Share Posted December 19, 2014 you are an utter cunt. Banned for 30 days by Mrs Roops. Haha Hey, titter ye not! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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