Guest JackoTC Posted May 15, 2015 Report Share Posted May 15, 2015 On a recent trip to Glasgow, I met up with some old mates in the boozer we drank in as teenagers - despite my warnings and objections. It was still a fucking shit tip. Eventually we moved on, after I pointed out it wasn't a fun trip down memory lane for any cunt, for the following reasons :1. Some fat drunken bastard broke my nose in there by slamming my face into the bog door2. A local hard nut (known as "The Hook"), once came in with a sawn off shotgun and murderous intent, and proceeded to hospitailse 11 of us, mainly to have lead shot removed. The intended recipient of his attack wasn't even in the fucking pub that night.3. A guy we went to school with and vaguely knew, got horribly drunk and sick, and was helped by a kindly stranger, who later poofed him senseless and violated him in numerous ways. Said Homo was stabbed repeatedly with a chisel a month later. Our acquaintance got 6 fucking years for it.4. They never ever had any ice for drinks5. The hand drier never ever worked.6. Fuck off Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick_B Posted May 15, 2015 Report Share Posted May 15, 2015 The hand dryer didn't work, that's terrible. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted May 15, 2015 Report Share Posted May 15, 2015 Yeah that hand drier is a fucking disgrace... you should refuse to ever enter those premises again until they get it fixed... cunts.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted May 15, 2015 Report Share Posted May 15, 2015 As for having no ice for drinks,what sort of shit hole is that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted May 15, 2015 Report Share Posted May 15, 2015 Yates Wine Lodges aren't what they used to be. Just lucky you stayed in the more upmarket end of town! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted May 15, 2015 Report Share Posted May 15, 2015 Yates Wine Lodges aren't what they used to be. Just lucky you stayed in the more upmarket end of town!I stayed out of bother 'Baws. I never had your heavyweight legal team to save my arse, or spring me from the Bar-L. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted May 15, 2015 Report Share Posted May 15, 2015 As for having no ice for drinks,what sort of shit hole is that?ice? Fookin pooftah! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted May 16, 2015 Report Share Posted May 16, 2015 ice? Fookin pooftah!According to Jacko's list,"4. They never ever had any ice for drinks". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted May 16, 2015 Report Share Posted May 16, 2015 According to Jacko's list,"4. They never ever had any ice for drinks".OK then... Jacko, ice?... you fooking pooftah! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted May 16, 2015 Report Share Posted May 16, 2015 According to Jacko's list,"4. They never ever had any ice for drinks".I thought I'd got jacko house trained with my recent literary advice. Jeff Bernard would never have sullied his vodka with frozen water. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted May 17, 2015 Report Share Posted May 17, 2015 Sounds like any fun night in a Glasgow pub. I used to spend a lot of time in Govan when I was younger. Funnily enough, I never got any grief from anyone, despite being a loudmouth Londoner. The girls loved it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted May 18, 2015 Report Share Posted May 18, 2015 I thought I'd got jacko house trained with my recent literary advice. Jeff Bernard would never have sullied his vodka with frozen water.Ah well Scotty, I was eh,....erm talking about drinks for the ladies who occasionally joined us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted May 18, 2015 Report Share Posted May 18, 2015 OK then... Jacko, ice?... you fooking pooftah!Please see comment above Dingo. The ice was also for preserving any body parts which had been cut off in a fight, until we could get the amputee to hospital. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted May 18, 2015 Report Share Posted May 18, 2015 Never return to a crime scene....so I hear! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted May 18, 2015 Report Share Posted May 18, 2015 Please see comment above Dingo. The ice was also for preserving any body parts which had been cut off in a fight, until we could get the amputee to hospital.Do a Rambo and stitch it back on yourself with a fishing hook and some thread ripped out of your jeans... Ice? You fucking pooftah! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted May 18, 2015 Report Share Posted May 18, 2015 Do a Rambo and stitch it back on yourself with a fishing hook and some thread ripped out of your jeans... Ice? You fucking pooftah!I am sure in a episode of breaking bad the crystal meth was described as ice. If that's the ice they put in the drinks in Glasgow god help us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted May 18, 2015 Report Share Posted May 18, 2015 ...if that's the ice they put in, me and Mrs D are off there for our anniversary then! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted May 18, 2015 Report Share Posted May 18, 2015 Do a Rambo and stitch it back on yourself with a fishing hook and some thread ripped out of your jeans... Ice? You fucking pooftah!Ah well Scotty, I was eh,....erm talking about drinks for the ladies who occasionally joined us.Please see comment above Dingo. The ice was also for preserving any body parts which had been cut off in a fight, until we could get the amputee to hospital.I love the sound of backpedalling in the evening. But I'm relieved to hear that Jacko's back on the sauce, the noise of him rattling was keeping me awake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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