Heavy breathing shitters

[Decimus]

7 hours ago, Quincy Cockfingers said:

You are looking like a bit of a bent toilet listening cunt. 

You sound like you've got form with this, although I'll wager that it's never your ear that's pressed against the glory hole.

[Guest Ollyboro]

Any public poohing, or pooing, protocol disappeared about the same time as telegrams and being allowed to hit your wife. If there's anybody pissing, shitting, or cottaging, in a public toilet, I will not have a shit there. My position is non- negotiable. I would rather shit my pants than be within a foot of somecunt giving Keith Curle a swift diving lesson (ie curling one out). And why don't the fucking partitions reach all the way to the ceiling and all the way to the floor? The only reason I can think of is;  it's so tall poofs can look over the top, and shorter poofs (eg Spunkers) can look under the door.

[Decimus]

2 hours ago, Ollyboro said:

Any public poohing, or pooing, protocol disappeared about the same time as telegrams and being allowed to hit your wife. If there's anybody pissing, shitting, or cottaging, in a public toilet, I will not have a shit there. My position is non- negotiable. I would rather shit my pants than be within a foot of somecunt giving Keith Curle a swift diving lesson (ie curling one out). And why don't the fucking partitions reach all the way to the ceiling and all the way to the floor? The only reason I can think of is;  it's so tall poofs can look over the top, and shorter poofs (eg Spunkers) can look under the door.

Have you ever been to America? Not only do the partitions not reach the floor, but there are huge two inch gaps where the door is attached. Imagine my suprise whilst laying deleted and finding myself eyeball to eyeball with a snaggle toothed peeping Tom.

Edited August 13, 2016 by Rick_B

[Guest Quincy Cockfingers]

2 hours ago, Decimus said:

You sound like you've got form with this, although I'll wager that it's never your ear that's pressed against the glory hole.

I'm not the one who's just admitted to being a lover and seeker out of squelches, grunts and moist crimping sounds. You fucking disgust me. Collecting that shit like some sort of Fart Boy Slim.

[Neil]

I prefer the privacy of my own shitter when breaking off a length of dirty spine,years of outside work can train ones arris to bake it for later

[Guest Quincy Cockfingers]

4 hours ago, neil298 said:

I prefer the privacy of my own shitter when breaking off a length of dirty spine,years of outside work can train ones arris to bake it for later

Outside washing cars eh? Wax on, wax off. Lately, I have been delivering precisely one massive shite precisely once per day, and almost precisely the same time-10am. When the contractions begin at 9.55am, there is fuck all baking for later, if I am not within reach of a bog or a shit-hungry open mouth, id be fucked. Maybe 15 minute countdown. Last week I shat in a dry toilet on site , some sorry cunt will have had to deal with that.

[Rev]

On 13 August 2016 at 0:27 AM, mothra said:

Just the London Gazette  for me Deco. I once dreamt I was sent in to widen Princess Margaret's cervix with a chainsaw though.

I'm pretty sure the regular fistings she received from Roddy Llewellen in the 70s widened it sufficiently to the point where every time the gin-soaked cunt coughed, half her uterus would prolapse, drop to her ankles and slosh around like half-cooked Farmfoods gammon hangers, until some fucker doughnut-punched her clap-riddled giblets back up. She was that shagged-ragged by the time she fucked off this mortal coil, her fucking pessary ring was like a bastard lifebuoy.

[nocti]

13 hours ago, Decimus said:

Have you ever been to America? Not only do the partitions not reach the floor, but there are huge two inch gaps where the door is attached. Imagine my suprise whilst laying deleted and finding myself eyeball to eyeball with a snaggle toothed peeping Tom.

I also hate the ones that you usually find in poolside toilets, that don't have a solid door but settle instead for a fucking venetian blind-like setup, giving you a full view of everything in front of you but apparently blocking anyone outside from seeing you, unless they crouch down and look upwards slightly and catch your gurning face as you're crowning king kong's finger.

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

On 8/12/2016 at 4:55 PM, nobgobbler said:

I can assure you it is just a male thing. 

Not true, Gobbler!  My wife will, on occasion, regale me with tales of terror of her trips into the porcelain jungle and the fierce creatures that sound like they need an oxygen tank, or are the female version of the comic character Bruce Banner, who when even mildly provoked evolves into a seriously angry cunt.  It's no wonder the ladies' is outfitted with sprays, incense, deodorizers, and soft music.  It levels the balance of stench and and intestinal distress from the grunting heaving mass in the stall next to.  

[Guest nobgobbler]

19 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said:

Not true, Gobbler!  My wife will, on occasion, regale me with tales of terror of her trips into the porcelain jungle and the fierce creatures that sound like they need an oxygen tank, or are the female version of the comic character Bruce Banner, who when even mildly provoked evolves into a seriously angry cunt.  It's no wonder the ladies' is outfitted with sprays, incense, deodorizers, and soft music.  It levels the balance of stench and and intestinal distress from the grunting heaving mass in the stall next to.  

Ah, so the sultry tones of ZZ top in the ladies room at Claridges last week was actually the blue rinse brigade from table 5 taking a dump.

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

1 minute ago, nobgobbler said:

Ah, so the sultry tones of ZZ top in the ladies room at Claridges last week was actually the blue rinse brigade from table 5 taking a dump.

That's one possibility.  Another would be you had a yank tusker in the next stall too thick to put her iPod on silent by inserting ear buds into the port.