Edinburgh Fringe "Funniest Joke".

[Guest Tata Steely Dan]

I told you all the fringe was shite, and you gave me grief for writing in paragraphs. Don't shoot the messenger, you pile of flids.

[Decimus]

1 minute ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

I told you all the fringe was shite, and you gave me grief for writing in paragraphs. Don't shoot the messenger, you pile of flids.

Tata, something tells me that tonight, in true jock fashion, you are absolutely fucking smashed off of your face.

[Guest Tata Steely Dan]

6 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Tata, something tells me that tonight, in true jock fashion, you are absolutely fucking smashed off of your face.

I may be drunk, Miss Decimus, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be a 6-fingered Norfolkian sister shagger.

[Guest Manky]

On 8/28/2016 at 8:08 AM, scotty said:

I told my wife a joke about fellatio and she said "I don't get it." 

I replied "neither do I, ever." 

Because of the horsemeat scandal at Tesco's I decided to play safe and bought the fish pie instead.

BAD MOVE, I read in the paper that it had been tested and was found to be 60% sea horse. And the salads were mostly horse radish.

[Guest Tata Steely Dan]

2 minutes ago, Manky said:

Because of the horsemeat scandal at Tesco's I decided to play safe and bought the fish pie instead.

BAD MOVE, I read in the paper that it had been tested and was found to be 60% sea horse. And the salads were mostly horse radish.

I bet when you told that joke down Canal Street last night you had to follow up with "Laugh you cunts, or you're going for a swim".

 

lol

[Bubba C]

14 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Tata, something tells me that tonight, in true jock fashion, you are absolutely fucking smashed off of your face.

I hope he chokes on his vomit. 

[Guest Manky]

4 minutes ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

I bet when you told that joke down Canal Street last night you had to follow up with "Laugh you cunts, or you're going for a swim".

 

lol

I only read it 10 minutes ago you thick fuck.

[Guest Tata Steely Dan]

2 minutes ago, Manky said:

I only read it 10 minutes ago you thick fuck.

As if you can read.

[Guest Tata Steely Dan]

7 minutes ago, Bubba C said:

I hope he chokes on his vomit. 

I know a dyslexic bloke that choked on his Vimto. 

[Guest Manky]

1 minute ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

As if you can read.

You got me there. Mrs Manky read it to me from a 3 year old blog. Just my type of thing, dated and doubleplusunfunny.

[Guest Tata Steely Dan]

6 minutes ago, Manky said:

You got me there. Mrs Manky read it to me from a 3 year old blog. Just my type of thing, dated and doubleplusunfunny.

Trying to sneak in a cheeky reference to 1984? If you cite Orwell's magnum opus as one of your favorite books then you haven't read a book since you left school. At 14.

[Guest Manky]

1 minute ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

Trying to sneak in a cheeky reference to 1984? If you cite Orwell's magnum opus as one of your favorite book then you haven't read a book since you left school. At 14.

Where do I mention 1984 as one of my favourite books?

Philip K Dick ( Do Androids dream of electric sheep ), Heinlein ( The man in the maze ) and The Final Programme by Michael Moorcock are all better examples of novels about a dystopian future. Incidentally, Moorcock was saxophonist on Silver Machine by Hawkwind.

1984 is OK though.

[Guest Snatch]

3 minutes ago, Manky said:

Incidentally, Moorcock was saxophonist on Silver Machine by Hawkwind.

Nik Turner was Hawkwind's resident saxophonist. Moorcock occasionally added some vocals to records.

I'll get my tie-dye anorak.

[Guest Tata Steely Dan]

2 minutes ago, Manky said:

Moorcock was saxophonist on Silver Machine by Hawkwind.

That was Nik Turner, you fucking moron. Moorcock contributed some spoken-word poetry and lyrics to Hawkwind, but never played a musical instrument on any of their records. The crux of Silver Machine was recorded at the Roundhouse in 1972 as part of the 'Greasy Truckers Ball', and was bolstered in the studio with overdubs. Bob Calvert's vocals were erased, and Lemmy's vocals were added. Guitarist Dave Brock also overdubbed a solo.

 

Anyway, Michael Moorcock's work is just fantasy drivel for autistic teenage boys.

[Guest Snatch]

2 minutes ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

That was Nik Turner, you fucking moron. Moorcock contributed some spoken-word poetry and lyrics to Hawkwind, but never played a musical instrument on any of their records. The crux of Silver Machine was recorded at the Roundhouse in 1972 as part of the 'Greasy Truckers Ball', and was bolstered in the studio with overdubs. Bob Calvert's vocals were erased, and Lemmy's vocals were added. Guitarist Dave Brock also overdubbed a solo.

 

Anyway, Michael Moorcock's work is just fantasy drivel for autistic teenage boys.

That's what I said you fucking hippy. I didn't think the rest was of any relevance.

[Guest Tata Steely Dan]

Just now, Snatch said:

That's what I said you fucking hippy. I didn't think the rest was of any relevance.

Bricktop!

[Guest Tata Steely Dan]

1 minute ago, Snatch said:

I didn't think the rest was of any relevance.

That's what they told you down at the sperm bank after you jizzed into an empty yogurt put while standing in the vestibule. 

[Guest Snatch]

1 minute ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

That's what they told you down at the sperm bank after you jizzed into an empty yogurt put while standing in the vestibule. 

I wouldn't donate my jizz to some sperm bank. I'd hate to think it would end up in some fat chav with diseases.

[Guest Manky]

3 minutes ago, Snatch said:

Nik Turner was Hawkwind's resident saxophonist. Moorcock occasionally added some vocals to records.

I'll get my tie-dye anorak.

 

2 minutes ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

That was Nik Turner, you fucking moron. Moorcock contributed some spoken-word poetry and lyrics to Hawkwind, but never played a musical instrument on any of their records. The crux of Silver Machine was recorded at the Roundhouse in 1972 as part of the 'Greasy Truckers Ball', and was bolstered in the studio with overdubs. Bob Calvert's vocals were erased, and Lemmy's vocals were added. Guitarist Dave Brock also overdubbed a solo.

 

Anyway, Michael Moorcock's work is just fantasy drivel for autistic teenage boys.

You pair of cunts fell into my fiendish trap.I often spout shite and half-truths about things I know little about. It draw the anoraks out into the light of day and exposes them for ridicule.

Actually, I did read about Moorcock/Hawkwind/Saxophone/Silver Machine somewhere and just accepted it as gospel. Not that I'm bothered anyway. His trilogy about Jeremy Cornelius is not a bad read. The Final Programme DVD retailed at 100 quid on Amazon until recently when it dropped to a tenner or so.

[Guest deebom]

I have something or other signed by Mr Moorcock.

[Bubba C]

9 hours ago, Manky said:

 

You pair of cunts fell into my fiendish trap.I often spout shite and half-truths about things I know little about. It draw the anoraks out into the light of day and exposes them for ridicule.

Actually, I did read about Moorcock/Hawkwind/Saxophone/Silver Machine somewhere and just accepted it as gospel. Not that I'm bothered anyway. His trilogy about Jeremy Cornelius is not a bad read. The Final Programme DVD retailed at 100 quid on Amazon until recently when it dropped to a tenner or so.

You seem to drop this cunning trick with alarming regularity, mank. 

Are you certain you're not just an overly-opinionated, thick-as-pigshit, fucking idiot? 

I have my doubts about your intentions is all. 

[Guest Manky]

40 minutes ago, Bubba C said:

 

Are you certain you're not just an overly-opinionated, thick-as-pigshit, fucking idiot? 

No, I am not certain. Anyone who is certain is an "overly-opinionated, thick-as-pigshit, fucking idiot"

And fuck originality. I prefer plagiarism with twists.

[Guest Snatch]

3 hours ago, deebom said:

I have something or other signed by Mr Moorcock.

I'm sure Punkape will be along shortly to offer his opinion on more cock.

[Guest Tata Steely Dan]

21 hours ago, Manky said:

 

You pair of cunts fell into my fiendish trap.I often spout shite and half-truths about things I know little about. It draw the anoraks out into the light of day and exposes them for ridicule.

Bollocks you did. Besides, you deaf cunt, there isn't any saxophone on Silver Machine. There is some flute (patched through a Binson tape echo), but this was cut largely from the mix on the single version, and only slightly more apparent on the original Roundhouse recording. Flute is even more apparent on the BBC In Concert version of Silver Machine depending on which recording you track down. There is a mono version with quite a powerful mix and a stereo version with a fairly imbalanced mix that favours Lemmy's bass over the guitar work of Dave Brock. In general the BBC recording features a sluggish Hawkwind performance compared to the Space Ritual release or even the spirited Krautrock-esque jamming of the X In Search of Space album. To provide a rough timeline, Space Ritual was funding in part from the profits of the Silver Machine single, so captures a more concert-hardened band than the slightly under rehearsed lineup captured on the BBC gig. 

 

[Guest Manky]

13 minutes ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

Bollocks you did. Besides, you deaf cunt, there isn't any saxophone on Silver Machine. There is some flute (patched through a Binson tape echo), but this was cut largely from the mix on the single version, and only slightly more apparent on the original Roundhouse recording. Flute is even more apparent on the BBC In Concert version of Silver Machine depending on which recording you track down. There is a mono version with quite a powerful mix and a stereo version with a fairly imbalanced mix that favours Lemmy's bass over the guitar work of Dave Brock. In general the BBC recording features a sluggish Hawkwind performance compared to the Space Ritual release or even the spirited Krautrock-esque jamming of the X In Search of Space album. To provide a rough timeline, Space Ritual was funding in part from the profits of the Silver Machine single, so captures a more concert-hardened band than the slightly under rehearsed lineup captured on the BBC gig. 

 

You boring cunt. Is your next thesis on The Bat City Rollers?