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The Postcode Lottery


Guest Bill Stickers

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Guest Bill Stickers

I must admit I'm not entirely sure what the postcode lottery is.

Judging by the adverts though, it's a game played exclusively by fat, ugly people from Essex and the North East. 

I also theorise they are the same people who believe things like; their mate has a system for roulette, pub fruit machines are games of skill, and horoscopes are accurate.

In fact, it wouldn't surprise me if ThunderCunt was one of the rare winners of the post code lottery. How else would the unemployable cretin be able to afford an Internet connection? 

I bet he's one of those gurning fucking idiots photographed outside a drab and forgettable terraced new build in Romsford, holding an oversized cheque, dreaming of all you can eat Pizza Hut buffets and Carlesberg Exports (posh tinnies as he calls them).

 

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Guest DingTheRioja

I though it was a phrase that fat, useless cunts use when their Doctor tells them the NHS can't afford to waste drugs on them?

 

13 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said:

Carlesberg Exports

Carlesberg?

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1 hour ago, Bill Stickers said:

I must admit I'm not entirely sure what the postcode lottery is.

Judging by the adverts though, it's a game played exclusively by fat, ugly people from Essex and the North East. 

I also theorise they are the same people who believe things like; their mate has a system for roulette, pub fruit machines are games of skill, and horoscopes are accurate.

In fact, it wouldn't surprise me if ThunderCunt was one of the rare winners of the post code lottery. How else would the unemployable cretin be able to afford an Internet connection? 

I bet he's one of those gurning fucking idiots photographed outside a drab and forgettable terraced new build in Romsford, holding an oversized cheque, dreaming of all you can eat Pizza Hut buffets and Carlesberg Exports (posh tinnies as he calls them).

 

You bitter little man Bill, i was going to cut you in for a share.

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In my neck of the woods, there's some retired egg-chaser used to promote it to the daft cunts who would play it and use their winnings to supplement their benefits as a means of purchasing lottery tickets. Dont ask me how this system works either.

This nom is flagging, Bill, which is odd as the subject matter is inherently cuntable. It's probably due to lack of buzzwords such as: golf, (backdoor) access to clubs, thick northerners, incest, roundabouts and yacht.

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Guest Bill Stickers
3 minutes ago, Bubba C said:

This nom is flagging, Bill, which is odd as the subject matter is inherently cuntable. It's probably due to lack of buzzwords such as: golf, (backdoor) access to clubs, thick northerners, incest, roundabouts and yacht.

Thanks for the words of support bubbs baby. I feel I've become the panto villain for the week, which I'm loving, so it might be a slow burner.

Once IKTC and UberCunt finish their shifts at Burger King and Biffa Bins respectively, it should explode into life thanks to their caustic wit and unparalleled intelligence. 

Mark my words, it's got a Stickers classic slapped all over it. 

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Guest luke swarm
1 hour ago, Bill Stickers said:

I must admit I'm not entirely sure what the postcode lottery is.

Judging by the adverts though, it's a game played exclusively by fat, ugly people from Essex and the North East. 

I also theorise they are the same people who believe things like; their mate has a system for roulette, pub fruit machines are games of skill, and horoscopes are accurate.

In fact, it wouldn't surprise me if ThunderCunt was one of the rare winners of the post code lottery. How else would the unemployable cretin be able to afford an Internet connection? 

I bet he's one of those gurning fucking idiots photographed outside a drab and forgettable terraced new build in Romsford, holding an oversized cheque, dreaming of all you can eat Pizza Hut buffets and Carlesberg Exports (posh tinnies as he calls them).

 

I always wonder about those oversized cheques...can one actually go to the bank and redeem them and if so where can I get a whole chequebook of them. I think it would be rather fun to go to my local Booze N News for my daily 4 pack of White lighting and pay with one of these  billboard size things.

The Health lottery is owned by that horrible cunt who owns the Daily Express, Asian Babes and channel 5....I believe only a small percentage is given to any charity with the majority of the cash from sad deluded cunts being pocketed by this pornographer.     

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Guest Bill Stickers
16 minutes ago, ThunderCunt said:

You bitter little man Bill, i was going to cut you in for a share.

I'm more interested in your roulette winnings. How's the system going? 

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5 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said:

Thanks for the words of support bubbs baby. I feel I've become the panto villain for the week, which I'm loving, so it might be a slow burner.

Once IKTC and UberCunt finish their shifts at Burger King and Biffa Bins respectively, it should explode into life thanks to their caustic wit and unparalleled intelligence. 

Mark my words, it's got a Stickers classic slapped all over it. 

I have absolutely no doubt IKTC will single-handedly fuck the whole thing up, regaling us with stories of his senior management position, living rent-free with his parents; and his expensive, new-season, Matalan clothes. 

 

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1 hour ago, luke swarm said:

I always wonder about those oversized cheques...can one actually go to the bank and redeem them and if so where can I get a whole chequebook of them. I think it would be rather fun to go to my local Booze N News for my daily 4 pack of White lighting and pay with one of these  billboard size things.

The Health lottery is owned by that horrible cunt who owns the Daily Express, Asian Babes and channel 5....I believe only a small percentage is given to any charity with the majority of the cash from sad deluded cunts being pocketed by this pornographer.     

The Postcode Lottery (Dutch owned, 30% goes to charity) is often confused with The Health Lottery (Controlled by Dirty Desmond, 20.3% goes to health related good causes) and the National Lottery (Operated by Camelot, 28% to good causes).

On a separate note, Desmond has sold his stakes in Television X, his smutty mag empire and Channel 5 (a failing business which he successfully turned around).

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Guest Bill Stickers
1 hour ago, Bubba C said:

I have absolutely no doubt IKTC will single-handedly fuck the whole thing up, regaling us with stories of his senior management position, living rent-free with his parents; and his expensive, new-season, Matalan clothes. 

They're much more interesting anecdotes than my time in Malaysia to be fair. 

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1 hour ago, Bubba C said:

I have absolutely no doubt IKTC will single-handedly fuck the whole thing up, regaling us with stories of his senior management position, living rent-free with his parents; and his expensive, new-season, Matalan clothes. 

Yeah, how's your bonus-funded Q7 getting along? I always thought the ride a bit on the firm side...

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Guest Bill Stickers
7 minutes ago, ThunderCunt said:

Yes you made yourself look a complete twat, poor showing.

A bit rich coming from the most illiterate cunt the site has seen since Scabies. Did you send that sentence to Roops to proof read first? 

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Guest Drew P Pissflaps
11 minutes ago, ThunderCunt said:

Yes you made yourself look a complete twat, poor showing.

Thanks Sensei. Still smarting about the Bluebird Toffee Hammer quip, I see

Edited by Drew P Pissflaps
killer blow
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39 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

Yeah, how's your bonus-funded Q7 getting along? I always thought the ride a bit on the firm side...

Fuck the Q7, it's fucking pointlessly huge. Undecided and still shopping, for what it's worth.

Do you think I should be a Harley? I hear they can open many doors. Unlike a Harvey, which just walks into them. 

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