Jiggerycock Posted October 31, 2016 Report Share Posted October 31, 2016 1 hour ago, Decimus said: Milton Keynes, although it's rather like asking would you rather spend an evening in the British Legion with Manky or fuck Dianne Abbott. Basildon or Hemel Hempstead? I once spent a whole week in Milton Keynes one Saturday. I wonder if one of John Betjamin's bombers could be persuaded to head into North Bucks and drop a Heatseeking missile on the chlamydia capital of Western Europe? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted October 31, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 31, 2016 4 hours ago, Jiggerycock said: I wonder if one of John Betjamin's bombers could be persuaded to head into North Bucks and drop a Heatseeking missile on the chlamydia capital of Europe? Better yet, we could just send in John Barrowman to give them all A.I.D.S. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted October 31, 2016 Report Share Posted October 31, 2016 On 30/10/2016 at 5:01 PM, Decimus said: There is a ring of desolation surrounding the outer boroughs of London, made up of the "New Towns" constructed after the second world war. Designed to house the filthy dregs of the largely criminal stock of the East End, the founding fathers of these shit holes have passed down to the current generation all of their worst traits. A godawful fucking accent that makes a mockery of the English language, a predilection for supporting West Ham, and a rose tinted fondness for the awful slop that their ancestors used to shove down their toothless fucking gobs in Whitechapel. The architecture is grim, grey and prefabricated, and the house prices are extortionate, purely because you can be in London within 30 minutes, courtesy of a journey suffocating in the claustrophobic environment of a one carriage wonder train, surrounded by masses of mockney cunts. Absolute fucking shit holes. Eeee, int Yorkshire bloody luvly!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted October 31, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 31, 2016 1 minute ago, nobgobbler said: Eeee, int Yorkshire bloody luvly!!! It's certainly improved since the death of Ding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted October 31, 2016 Report Share Posted October 31, 2016 4 minutes ago, Decimus said: It's certainly improved since the death of Ding. What have I missed? Have you seen him off? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted October 31, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 31, 2016 Just now, nobgobbler said: What have I missed? Have you seen him off? Bill changed his avatar and Ding lost it. By my calculations, he's about two miles out in the Humber estuary by now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted October 31, 2016 Report Share Posted October 31, 2016 4 hours ago, Jiggerycock said: I once spent a whole week in Milton Keynes one Saturday. I wonder if one of John Betjamin's bombers could be persuaded to head into North Bucks and drop a Heatseeking missile on the chlamydia capital of Western Europe? I once sat in Milton Keynes bus station. I thought I had died and gone to hell. Then I realised I hadn't and wished I had. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted October 31, 2016 Report Share Posted October 31, 2016 4 minutes ago, Decimus said: Bill changed his avatar and Ding lost it. By my calculations, he's about two miles out in the Humber estuary by now. I'll send him a raft. I can't be the only yorkshire cunt on here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted October 31, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 31, 2016 2 minutes ago, nobgobbler said: I'll send him a raft. I can't be the only yorkshire cunt on here. Check his ringpiece. I think there's more to his demise than meets the eye. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted October 31, 2016 Report Share Posted October 31, 2016 21 minutes ago, Decimus said: Check his ringpiece. I think there's more to his demise than meets the eye. Jap's eye, Poor Ding. A dollop of cyclist's bollock cream should do the trick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted October 31, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 31, 2016 Just now, nobgobbler said: Jap's eye, Poor Ding. A dollop of cyclist's bollock cream should do the trick. Frank's been spotted sniffing around his bloated corpse like a featherless seagull. I'm not trying to insinuate that Ding was Barrymored by Frank post-mortem, but Berney Inn ashtrays aren't renowned for their ability to independently crawl up arseholes, hermit crab style. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted October 31, 2016 Report Share Posted October 31, 2016 8 minutes ago, Decimus said: Frank's been spotted sniffing around his bloated corpse like a featherless seagull. I'm not trying to insinuate that Ding was Barrymored by Frank post-mortem, but Berney Inn ashtrays aren't renowned for their ability to independently crawl up arseholes, hermit crab style. If he's in the humber it'll be a giant eel up his arse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted October 31, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 31, 2016 Just now, nobgobbler said: If he's in the humber it'll be a giant eel up his arse. Bald, slimy, and as skinny as a five year old Somalian, the eel is Frank's spirit animal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tata Steely Dan Posted October 31, 2016 Report Share Posted October 31, 2016 I don't think New Towns are inherently cuntish. The people that designed them are cunts and the people smitten with socialism , who thought that shipping pikeys into concrete jungles was a good idea, are cunts. Naturally anybody who lives in, or hails from, a New Town is a complete cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted November 5, 2016 Report Share Posted November 5, 2016 On 31/10/2016 at 5:39 PM, nobgobbler said: I'll send him a raft. I can't be the only yorkshire cunt on here. The rumours of my demise have been much exaggerated. Again. But if I drowned myself, it wouldn't be in the Humber estuary, the embarrassment of having Hull connected to my name would kill me.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted November 5, 2016 Report Share Posted November 5, 2016 2 hours ago, DingTheRioja said: The rumours of my demise have been much exaggerated. Again. But if I drowned myself, it wouldn't be in the Humber estuary, the embarrassment of having Hull connected to my name would kill me.... Hull stinks. Seriously I nearly did drown when we got caught in a force 5 gale on the humber, in the dark. We missed the last pen into the marina so had to tie up in the river hull near all the shitty barges, and climb the bank. We were surrounded by vermin. There were a few rats as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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