Guest Filthy Cunt Posted August 13, 2018 Report Share Posted August 13, 2018 12 minutes ago, luke swarm said: you sound like the kind of cunt who is often left behind to be looked after rather than the other way round, certainly no one in their right mind would wish you to accompany them anywhere. You are quite right, I am a social embarrassment Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted August 13, 2018 Report Share Posted August 13, 2018 1 hour ago, luke swarm said: you sound like the kind of cunt who is often left behind to be looked after rather than the other way round, certainly no one in their right mind would wish you to accompany them anywhere. Local Jehovah’s witnesses may be interested. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted August 13, 2018 Report Share Posted August 13, 2018 On 10/2/2017 at 10:30 PM, scotty said: Update: Old woman no. 2, the one with the broken hip, has sadly succumbed to her injuries and is now hobbling around in the hereafter. Watch out southampton geriatrics, scotty is on a hat trick. Do you do house calls? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Filthy Cunt Posted August 13, 2018 Report Share Posted August 13, 2018 13 minutes ago, White Cunt said: Do you do house calls? I am sure he would if you ask him nicely Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Piston Posted August 13, 2018 Report Share Posted August 13, 2018 9 hours ago, scotty said: What are you implying luke? 🤔 Those charges were never proved. Last year: 'goodbye' all close living relatives and this year the pets are dropping off their perches. Scotty, my main man, what you have here is a gift from God and a fantastic business opportunity! Last 2 weeks in August (dates can be changed to suit!) we shall be vacationing. The mother in law, an elderly (and minted!) lady is in dire need of being 'taken care of'. How are you fixed? A couple of sticks of rock on our return and a brown envelope post-probate? . PS If you need an agent: I have a number of contacts in urgent need of help dealing managing elderly relatives. Your CV speaks volumes, reply by PM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted August 13, 2018 Report Share Posted August 13, 2018 9 hours ago, scotty said: What are you implying luke? 🤔 Those charges were never proved. Did Withers find a new stalking ground? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted August 13, 2018 Report Share Posted August 13, 2018 13 hours ago, scotty said: It's holiday time!!! The neighbours having no remaining old people to entrust to my "care", have asked me to look after their three cats. Well, I say three. The results have been nothing if not predictable; as the song goes, "and then there were two". The oldest one was poorly when they left, and third day in I go over the road to feed them as usual and find her hidden in a cupboard, covered in mud and shit and mewing pitifully. I get the wife to help me bathe the cat, and mingling in with the crap coming off it is blood pouring out its arsehole. I phone the neighbours to ask if I should get the vet out at Sunday rates, they said no, it's happened before and she'll be fine when she's dried off. So I leave her clean and comfortable on their sofa. Return an hour later to one dead cat, so I've wrapped up the body and left it in a box in their garage. (I mean wrapped in a blanket, not gift-wrapped, I hasten to add. I'm not that warped.) Have you ever thought of subcontracting yourself out to dignitas snotty? You could make a killing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest N/A Posted August 13, 2018 Report Share Posted August 13, 2018 On 8/29/2017 at 11:02 PM, scotty said: So, the neighbours swan off to Cornwall for a week. Fair enough, but they ask me to "keep an eye" on his 93 year old mother, his wifes 87 year old mother and also her 92 year old aunt. Two days in, I take the aunts shopping round to her flat. She's wolfing down her lunch, watched by two paramedics. She's had a fall, but is refusing to be admitted to hospital. Later that day I get a call from the warden, she's had a second fall and is now in the hospital awaiting a hip replacement. Two more days and I get another call, this time from the mother in laws care home. She's just died, so can I please locate the relevant paperwork and notify the family. I should point out that the dead one was in palliative care for cancer already and the broken hip one is wheelchair bound having had a stroke last year, so I'm shirking most of the blame here. But lets face it, it's not looking too promising for the remaining one. With my current batting average I reckon she'll be dead by thursday, if she lasts that long; I've promised to take her Radio Times round there tomorrow, so stand by for further developments. That picture on your profile, Do the relatives in Cornwall have any idea about what picture is on your cunts corner profile, and they leave you in charge of their elderly aunts and mother. That’s like leaving the McCanns in charge of a school trip to the Niagra Falls. Really.....did you use a cushion to smother them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted August 13, 2018 Author Report Share Posted August 13, 2018 42 minutes ago, Monumental cunt said: That picture on your profile, Do the relatives in Cornwall have any idea about what picture is on your cunts corner profile, and they leave you in charge of their elderly aunts and mother. That’s like leaving the McCanns in charge of a school trip to the Niagra Falls. Really.....did you use a cushion to smother them? The McCanns had some good news recently MC, they are expecting another child. They've already decided to put it up for abduction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted August 13, 2018 Report Share Posted August 13, 2018 i heard rumour that a roguish submariner on HMS Ambush got an “interview without coffee”, for suggesting they adopt Maddie as wardroom mascot, given that just like the Ambush, she was at the bottom of the sea and full of seamen. Free speech is a brave defence to a Chief Petty Officer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest N/A Posted August 16, 2018 Report Share Posted August 16, 2018 On 8/13/2018 at 11:26 PM, scotty said: The McCanns had some good news recently MC, they are expecting another child. They've already decided to put it up for abduction. I would fuck the living daylight out of Mrs McCann. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sean5302 Posted August 18, 2018 Report Share Posted August 18, 2018 On 8/29/2017 at 11:02 PM, scotty said: So, the neighbours swan off to Cornwall for a week. Fair enough, but they ask me to "keep an eye" on his 93 year old mother, his wifes 87 year old mother and also her 92 year old aunt. Two days in, I take the aunts shopping round to her flat. She's wolfing down her lunch, watched by two paramedics. She's had a fall, but is refusing to be admitted to hospital. Later that day I get a call from the warden, she's had a second fall and is now in the hospital awaiting a hip replacement. Two more days and I get another call, this time from the mother in laws care home. She's just died, so can I please locate the relevant paperwork and notify the family. I should point out that the dead one was in palliative care for cancer already and the broken hip one is wheelchair bound having had a stroke last year, so I'm shirking most of the blame here. But lets face it, it's not looking too promising for the remaining one. With my current batting average I reckon she'll be dead by thursday, if she lasts that long; I've promised to take her Radio Times round there tomorrow, so stand by for further developments. The face of Harold Shipman. I wonder why they asked you to look after them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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