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Akmal The Egg-Laying Teenager


Last Cunt Standing

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2 hours ago, Albert Ross said:

No, I'm a shift supervisor, I have underlings to do the dirty stuff, I just help myself to 20% of the takings.

The job title 'Shift Supervisor' suggests one of power, control, reward, adept fries skills. But you've already disclosed you earn approximately £8 per hour before tax. This begs the question: what do the poor slaves sweeping the floors, without so much of a hint of prestigious gold stars donning their name badges, earn?

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Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt)
14 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

The job title 'Shift Supervisor' suggests one of power, control, reward, adept fries skills. But you've already disclosed you earn approximately £8 per hour before tax. This begs the question: what do the poor slaves sweeping the floors, without so much of a hint of prestigious gold stars donning their name badges, earn?

I wouldn't know about the others, we all sign non disclosure agreements.

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22 minutes ago, Albert Ross said:

I wouldn't know, we all sign non disclosure agreements.

Well, it doesn't take Einstein to decipher it's below £8 and above £3.50 per hour. With this in mind, the privilege of £8 must come at a price of blood, spots and tears – and top-end training.

Hand on heart: if there was a Ronald McDonald Cup calling for your 'signature dish', what would it be? I suspect you've handled more Quarter Pounders than Punkape. 

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Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt)
7 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

Well, it doesn't take Einstein to decipher it's below £8 and above £3.50 per hour. With this in mind, the privilege of £8 must come at a price of blood, spots and tears – and top-end training.

Hand on heart: if there was a Ronald McDonald Cup calling for your 'signature dish', what would it be? I suspect you've handled more Quarter Pounders than Punkape. 

The Big Mac of course. Does Punkape flip burgers?

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Guest Wizardsleeve
7 hours ago, Albert Ross said:

The Big Mac of course. Does Punkape flip burgers?

Burger, Berger...many names, all flaming faggots infecting other poofs with no regard for public decency.  

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Guest White van man
On 03/03/2018 at 9:59 AM, Last Cunt Standing said:

https://www.express.co.uk/news/weird/923291/boy-lays-egg-doctors-gowa-indonesia-x-ray-proof

Surveying the press this snowbound Saturday, I’m intrigued to learn of this young chap and his astonishing ability to pass an egg rectally from time to time, to the “amazement” of doctors. 

One can only speculate how he has managed to get an egg up there without cracking it, given that most people have a sphincter like a bulldog clip and would struggle to insert a grape intact. Has he been hammering the amyl nitrate? Got at by an army of Indonesian Jimmy Savile disciples? Some sort of spinal column injury rendering him anally spasticated? Or perhaps he is genuinely the half-man half-bird hybrid he claims to be?

Alternatively, he might just be a lying cunt with a coincidentally slack arsehole. I do hope Dynamo includes him in his next freak show. I imagine his gusset has more skid marks than Silverstone. 

Can anyone solve the mystery?

Fuck off. 

Easy solved. The clue is the egg inside contents. They've been taken out. The egg has been hardened from the inside with an hardening compound. Then the yolk or whites returned with a shringe. Thats why there is only a yolk or whites, as both can't be injected back in together. 

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Guest White van man
5 minutes ago, Lady Penelope said:

This nomination is beyond a yolk.

His parents deserve to be boiled, fried, poached and scrambled. Eggstra special cunting for these pair of cunts.

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27 minutes ago, White van man said:

Easy solved. The clue is the egg inside contents. They've been taken out. The egg has been hardened from the inside with an hardening compound. Then the yolk or whites returned with a shringe. Thats why there is only a yolk or whites, as both can't be injected back in together. 

A most excellent diagnosis, Wvm. I am however mildly concerned by your knowledge of such things.

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Guest Lady Penelope
4 minutes ago, White van man said:

His parents deserve to be boiled, fried, poached and scrambled. Eggstra special cunting for these pair of cunts.

Haven't you ova done that?

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Guest White van man
12 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

A most excellent diagnosis, Wvm. I must admit I am however mildly concerned by your knowledge of such things.

A childhood friend used to collect eggs. We seemed to live up trees ha. A little hole each end of the egg to blow the insides out. Easy repaired if careful. 

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9 minutes ago, White van man said:

A childhood friend used to collect eggs. We seemed to live up trees ha. A little hole each end of the egg to blow the insides out. Easy repaired if careful. 

Punkape used to climb trees (ha) with his egg-collecting friend, only he'd suck the insides of the egg out.

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