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Motorway Signs


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Which thick fucker writes those motorway signs?

 

Last week I was driving down the biggest car park in the UK - also known as the M25 - and it was pissing down harder than a sharp shower in Tibet during monsoon season. The car's wipers were going round faster than a smackheads eyeballs and there's a sign above me, lit up like a fucking Christmas tree, that read 'Heavy Rain'.

 

No shit Sherlock. Fuck me, I'm glad you told me. I was just about to pull up and roll out the fucking tartan rug and eat a bastard roadside picnic.

 

I can see it's raining you fucking retard...that's not my fucking windscreen sweating.

 

Now fuck off and find a real job to do.

 

Cunt.

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Also - this whole 'Time to Junction Whatever' jive-ass motherfuck speak.

 

What sub-trainspotting sad sap knows the numbers of Junctions of motorways? I know where Bedford is, much though it pains me to admit it,and can remember it's off Junction 13 on the M1 because I used to drive there every day, but apart from that. Come on people - pop quiz time: What's at Junction 22 of the M25 other than a big fucking traffic jam and a dead badger?

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Also - this whole 'Time to Junction Whatever' jive-ass motherfuck speak.
 
What sub-trainspotting sad sap knows the numbers of Junctions of motorways? I know where Bedford is, much though it pains me to admit it,and can remember it's off Junction 13 on the M1 because I used to drive there every day, but apart from that. Come on people - pop quiz time: What's at Junction 22 of the M25 other than a big fucking traffic jam and a dead badger?

A broken down lorry with a container full of trafficked people. What too soon?
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Also - this whole 'Time to Junction Whatever' jive-ass motherfuck speak.

 

What sub-trainspotting sad sap knows the numbers of Junctions of motorways? I know where Bedford is, much though it pains me to admit it,and can remember it's off Junction 13 on the M1 because I used to drive there every day, but apart from that. Come on people - pop quiz time: What's at Junction 22 of the M25 other than a big fucking traffic jam and a dead badger?

A friend of mine spent 6 weeks in a police cell just off the M25 years ago during the prison officers strike. She said the sound of the motorway traffic made her sleep better. Just thought I'd mention it.

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