Goober

Tampons?

You got your bottom spanked. Everyone knows it. Stop being a fucking idiot, if you can.

Fucking hell, chaps. Tone it down a bit. You may have a point regarding the prevailing zeitgeist, but there's a line. I've no doubt that Doreen has landed on her feet, but I don't give a fuck what colour a person is, no one would trade the life of their child for a higher station in life. The Corner has never been a child's playground, but this is pushing it a bit further right field than I'm comfortable with. There's no need for exaggerated overt racism like this. Get a fucking grip.

Billy, how many times has your nurse told you to give your scrotum a good scrub more than twice a year. Ffs. Keep that smell going and the Argies will invade again.

I'm surprised it's not a yoghurt cannon.

Ferrets are very musky, Spot. Rub a polecat under your chin and a horde of Yorkshire women will descend upon you and rape you to death, even if you live in the Falkland Islands.

Unless your @Decimus fixation stems from a desire to suck his dick, I suggest you accept that you lost the argument and stop boring the fucking shit out of everyone.

I dunno. I've seen Raheem Sterling in an advert and he's a mincing faggot.

Men's fragrances were definitely advertised somewhat differently back in the day. Then: Now:

Punkape liked a Mandate.

Kakapo.

...or maybe they've put a double dose of hormones in it to trick lthe last of the unfeminized. This time next week you'll be tucking your meat and two veg between your legs and dancing naked in front of your mirror. Vinnie Jones is a cunt.

Plausible, if it's stuffed with dynamite and has a fuse sticking out of its arse.

For God's sake, Drew, don't read the EDP. It'll rot what's left of your Spesh addled brain.

Yeah, I got them. You must have sent me your size, not mine, cuz they weren't big enough to cover a party sausage. Fortunately, I didn't need them though. The water levels have dropped about 30 cm since Friday and I'm still nice and dry here.

Has your arsehole got teeth? If not, how will you bite off your own head? If your Mrs is forcing you to watch that bilge, may I suggest you put an industrial bark chipper on next year's Christmas list, for the garden, of course.

He's not a man. He's a tapeworm.

Since more than 50% of it is either your illiterate arse dribble or people's responses to it, I think embarrassed, rather than pleased, would be nearer the mark.

MC, stfu, you stupid cunt, or join the Samaritans if you want to help people. I was hoping the slimey twat would go through with it. I'd consider it a cherry on the top of a merry Christmas.

Indeed. Joe Pesci with Owen Wilson's hooter.

I might need to borrow Frank's boat.

Fuck Water Aid. Look what the River Waveney brought me for Christmas. Only 60m from the house now. Cunt. I want God dead.

If you've got wanking spanner friction sores, never trade up for a blowjob from someone with bleeding gums. A mantra to live by.

You can live on it... Most squaddies I've known would eat the crusty bits out of their own arse cracks. If push came to shove, they'd eat them from other people's.