Goober

Neil would.

I'm fairly sure you're free from infection, Bill, since your flaccid member isn't able to penetrate any infected rectums. That'll be £250 for the consultation. Twat.

"Sorry, its only possible to serve that by the gallon."

Apology accepted.

I can't argue with that.

I could never consent to including myself in that definition of 'you'. This is an extremely narrow definition of civilisation, RK. I've had a couple of nights out in your patch. I'll not deny that it was a cracking night out, but if 'Geordie' was the benchmark against which all civilisation was judged by visiting aliens, they'd immolate the entire planet before feeding the charred carbonised remains to their pets.

Context, Bill. I know it's difficult and partly the reason you gobshites so enjoy killing each other, but try not to be a last word, Northern Irish wanker.

Drinking, Decs. Drinking.

A technicality. I said us. As a southerner, anyone living north of Leicester cannot be included in a definition of 'us'.

Of course not, RK. That's not where we're at and I genuinely hope we never will be. Just bants.

No offence, RK, you could train a Bonobo to answer a phone, it doesn't mean the person on the other end will understand them.

You mean that BBC wanker that won a Premier League title for Blackburn and got The Toon relegated? Ummmm...

Maybe this infection is self propagating. The giver might like the anal ribbed effect from the pox blisters and the receiver, after being fucked inside out for years, might enjoy the renewed sensation of painal. Enough of that now, before I puke.

Front cunt... The best sort. PFoJ (Newcastle Branch), cunt. What did the Geordies ever do for us? If you say Gazza I'm going to kick your ball sack inside out.

Technically, this current plague is mostly a dirty anus infection. It's a whole new level of filthy.

No, ScottishPower. People's Front of Judea cunt.

Oh, Bill, come on now. I'm grateful that you've spared me time from your reach around with DC to reply. Please don't allow my flippant posts, designed solely to wind up idiots, distract you. I know they are meaningless to you and, since you don't fall into that category, they don't sting at all. I'm sure they don't affect how hard you're able to get for your latest boyfriend. Sex with a scouser. Shame on you.

Brilliant. Don't forget to lubricate before you retire. Ivan will be visiting presently to administer another prolapse.

Try not to melt down again, DC. More than three times in a week would be embarrassing.

Without flinging too much shit, RK, I'm assuming, as a law abiding citizen, your comment about gullible cunts did not self-reference. Is that because your Northern abode does not yet benefit from new fangled shit like mains electricity? I'll start a petition on your behalf if you like.

Steel? You can't even manage wood, Bill.

No, but any more of your mick lip and you will be soon.

Tell that to the judge, RK. I'm sure they'd agree.

There's a surprise. Thick as shit turkeys will actually vote for Christmas.

Who'd have thought that a Scouser would be a cheating, thieving cunt that consorts with other thieving, lowlife cunts.