Goober

Wasn't that first shown in Blue Planet with David Attenborough doing the commentary?

I suspect the only way this 'legend' is ever going to be disabused is by Pen posting a freshly prepared kebab pic. Anyone want to advocate that? Anyone?

Welcome back, Punkers. It's curious that the spread of the monkey pox plague has accelerated since you were released. Are you patient zero? What's it like to wake up with what appears to be a freshly melted magnum classic dribbling out of your arsehole every day?

What the Holy mother of fuck‽. You'd think with all the issues he has, he wouldn't want to carry that burden too. Given this revelation, I'm disinclined to suggest doing anything with him. Any physical contact would be a sure fire way of contracting cock pox. It makes me feel dirty just posting on the same site as a scum fan.

Not at all. If women want to play football, fair play to them. I've no issue with that. I, like most men, women and children, don't want to watch that shite, but some will, if the tickets are cheap enough. It's fair to say that it does rather boil my piss that every game or TV programme featuring men's football has to be balanced with a female pundit or feature a female official, but heaven forbid if a man features anywhere in women's football. This does't demonstrate equality in any way that I can see. It was solely a comment on the suspiciously even spread between the races amongst the "highest quality" officials available amongst both sexes. Maybe Spurs should sign a few women for their men's team. Let's face it, even with the money they have at their disposal, it couldn't make the team any worse.

Fucking hell, MC. How old are you? The vendors of free kebab special sauce were admitted to NATO in 1952.

I wasnt aware of this outrageous behaviour. That said, it wouldn't even come close to preventing me from smashing her back doors in before blinding her with a double dose of love yogurt. I could live with being accused of an anti-semetic eye shot.

Perhaps you should edit it and face the challenge head on like a man. No need to apologise. Using the authority you've granted me, I'll do it in advance on your behalf. King Billy is sorry for talking shite day-in, day-out, and deeply regrets that he hasn't got the balls to back up his claims.

It's because you'd get a chubby for the first time in years. Admit it.

Three women have been chosen to referee at this year's World Cup. They were chosen based on performance quality. Purely by freak chance, there's a white one (French), a yellow one (Japanese) and a brown one (Rwandan). Referees supplied by United Colours of Benetton marketing division.

Pub landlords across Norfolk have been complaining that Coca-Cola sales have gone through the roof, but the profits have been more than outweighed by the huge amount of 90% alcohol hand sanitiser they've been having to buy each week. Mystery solved!

The shaky DTs induced handwriting on the form, together with a vomit stain, were probably a giveaway as well.

It's mostly raving benders that are developing blisters on their old chaps at the moment. I hope this doesn't indicate that you're in a high risk group, Proper.

I can't imagine why this post generated this mental image:

That'd be OK, as long as they rip their mentally deficient parents limb from limb and spit (can sharks spit?) their mangled corpses over the nearest tourist beach as a lesson to the woke, middle class, masses. King Billy apologises for supporting all LGBTQ+ causes.

I imagine that they all identify as 'confused', especially when it comes to how to refer to their parents. What a mind fuck.

You're floundering here, Bill. I like this authority that you've granted me. I'm going to make full use of it. King Billy apologises for his family's role in the potato famine.

Apology accepted, not that you have any say about what you apologise for any more.

King Billy apologises for being a twat.

Bill, you know the closest I'd put any part of my body to that flaccid appendage is when I tighten the vice a couple of turns. There's no chance of your flaccid member being able to violate my virgin bum hole, even in the extremely unlikely event that I granted you permission. With your Rob Beckett teeth, I'm not letting you suck my cock either, however much you beg.

Of course you would, Bill, under duress. Now you've made the mistake of granting me authority to apologise for anything on your behalf, I've got your balls and flaccid micro cock in a vice. King Billy apologises to all Catholics.

Isn't that deodorant?

Fuck. Expect the site to crash imminently following a poorly applied upgrade.

Bill, you granted me this authority. If you don't like it, hard fucking luck. Expect to be apologising for lots more of your deranged tripe soon. Also, you'll be apologising for having a tiny, malfunctional penis. Lap it up.

@Mrs Roops King Billy has granted me authority to apologise on his behalf, q.v. On the basis of this exchange, King Billy apologises for being a tin-foil-hatted, gullible, stupid fucking cunt. Regretably, despite his apology, he'll carry on regardless.