Dyslexic cnut

No. You’re ‘drinking cider and listening to music AND monitoring a cunt’s posts on CC.’ Have a fine evening, however. Best wishes…The North.

‘Neither’…quick! Before Frank sees this.

I can’t have this, Uncle Ape. I lived in the North in the 70’s & 80’s. Trust me, it was fucking grim. Unemployment, riots, disillusion, poverty, cholera, impetigo, rickets and smallpox were running rife. A southern poof dealing with this kind of social trauma and upheaval would also have tried to escape their dreary lives with a pocketful of talcum powder, loud clothes and Motown banging. Shove it up your crack.

He’s beyond manners. He’s just achingly odd. Tell me you don’t enjoy his daily greetings ffs.

Odd cunt.

How do you live with this weird cunt greeting you every fucking day of your life? Tell me you haven’t fucked/jilted it, because I just don’t understand the trolling nature of this relationship. It’s quite disturbing.

I’m glad your northern Norfolk tongue is firmly in your cheek. You mischevious terrible cunt. I know what you’re up to.

All ‘northern’ music completely written off by someone, who, at best, geographically is from the Midlands? Decs…reconsider this submission. It stands up to no scrutiny at all.

I’ve told you to buy English before. These are not Goodyear welted, if at all, and the finish on the sole of your right instep at the heel point is fucking shocking. Unless they’re substandard Chinese copies, like your dead wife? Explain yourself.

Almost back to normal Tuber standards, P. Press on old chap.

Have you been hanging around with Torquemada Pecker, Eric?

Fuck me, Panzo…are you pissed here? This is the most Anglo-Saxon and legible post you’ve ever forwarded. The mask slips.

This will be problematic, Killa. Sunderland=averse to bathing/showers/running water etc. I’m thinking novichok in the cheesey-chips?

Slow down, I’m making notes.

Fuck off, Doc. As the members on here know, I’ve rented my cock-loft out to many celebrities over the years, primarily in the mid-80’s. I’ve had to fill dozens of rental agreements out, many that have directly asked me ‘are you a spasticated, jittery, neurologically impaired Cunt?’ I answered honestly and a lucrative, guilt-free tenancy duly ensued. This fliddy fucker has obviously deceived the system somewhere along the way and, if the litigants have paid their money and turned up at their accommodation to be greeted by a palsied, twitching Spudcooness in callipers, spilling hot tea all over them and dribbling snot into their cornflakes they should sue the fuckin Gaelic gimp into oblivion. I want it to die, convulsing. Who the fuck gets a terminal diagnosis and thinks…’I know, I think I’ll rent my spare room out for a few euros/potatoes that might come in handy…going forward?’ Also, it sounds like she had a RING doorbell, so fuck her.

The irony is, her single, fat pisshead Cunt brother bought it as a Xmas present for fuck’s sake. I’d see the humour and wit in this except he’s from Sunderland. @Roadkill?

Whoever invented this intrusive Cunt of a doorbell needs mutilating along with any cunt that misuses them. I’m sure the intention was ‘home security’ whereby you could see which darkie has burgled your house (via the front door…really?) Or if the DPD/Royal Mail Cunt has actually attempted to deliver whatever unnecessary shite your wife has decided to purchase. But I have two snags with it. Firstly, the chances of a conviction, according to police sources, are highly minimal as the fuckin things seldom record in sufficient detail and accuracy to secure the high level of identification necessary to get past some smart arsed overpaid brief having the flawed evidence being ruled out as ‘inadmissible to secure a guilty verdict.’ Secondly, and far more importantly imho, is the misuse of the said device. It has increasingly being used by cunt wives to prove that their husbands/partners did not, in fact, get in from the ale-house at 1020pm, sober, but rather staggered up to the door at 1155pm, drunk as cunts, and spent fifteen minutes trying to get the key in the door, after taking a much needed Geoff Hurst on the front lawn. Before I smashed mine to pieces two weeks ago, I was similarly persecuted by Mrs Cnut with this cunt device and it’s clever way of uploading onto the cloud so that she could rewind and play it back for all perpetuity. She often works for short periods, overseas, and it is one of the few pleasures I had left, bidding her a fond ‘goodbye’ and then having three days of guilt-free, unproveable ale-infused freedom. That ended when I was casually questioned over the phone from some foreign clime, obviously lied like a cheap Chinese watch, only to have her forward video evidence brutally disproving my earlier submission of a ‘quiet night in watching tv.’ A domestic shitstorm not seen since our refugee lived here was duly unleashed. One cunt of a device I say. (Don’t bother with the ‘Scouse-housebreaker-income-restricting’ gags either, shower of cunts.)

What music do you dance to, Withers? A hip-hop medley by Drake?

You’ll smell them long before you see them, trust me. They could knock a bluebottle off rotten kangaroo shite from 75 yards.

Aahh, so now we know for sure. You are pals with old JSP then.

Sounds like Saucepants has sailed over your way. He’s a proven liar, it’s not his yacht, Margo(t) his invisible friend owns it. You’ve been had.

Perhaps, then coat it in Gent’s Relish. But I’ll tell you this, Doc. Living where you do I’d suggest that you’re in no position to comment on the attire and attractiveness of the female form. Convict-descendant, masculine, gargoyle Sheilas and Neolithic, reeking, fly-infested, primate Abbos are what you have to choose from. Which one did you plump for in the end? Answer very carefully now.

A flippant and weak attack on our new P.M. Fucking lame and callow. Idealoguery and neo-liberalism aside, try and add a little depth into your feeble observations, Doc. Look at the magnificent top-bollocks on her. I’d suck on them Charlie Wobblers until the creases came out of her elbows, knees and face. Fuck off.

I cannot fuckin abide people who say that they served in the military when they never did…it should be punishable by imprisonment frankly. In the mid-80’s I was an army cook an I am not ashamed to say so. But I’ll tell you this, and I’ll tell you nothing less…I probably killed more men then any other SF soldier that I know. For instance I once took at least 24 men out with salmonella. One time I was on secondment at McDonalds and as a young rookie I stepped on a high air pressure line which was feeding the milk shake machine and it blew up. I will never forget it, it took out three 4 star spatula operators and young Brenda who had come in on her day off. I am retired now after my officer-in-command advised me that if I ‘cant stand the heat then best stay out of the kitchen.’ This a true story that needs no embellishment…and, fuck off.

The whole fuckin shithole is a wildlife documentary when I’ve visited, if I’m being honest.