Dyslexic cnut

Ed. I’ve liked some of your recent work but, I’ll be honest, I don’t know you very well. To move forward, can you oblige me with an honest answer? Are you black? Straight question.

Thank you for your fucking empathy. Lovely.

I dunno why I’ve come on here for advice/help. What a bunch of utter cunts. PM me Gypps.

Don’t you start. I’m bereft here.

Trust me. I’ve seen it’s grid. I’d rather stuff my helmet down Pen’s Jap’s eye. It’s hideous.

You calling me ‘shallow?’ I’m saving refugees ffs! It just could have been done better.

Gremlin faced gargoyle skank’s got its own muzzy. Therein lies the snag.

Qualitah.

You been PMing @Eric Cuntman?…pair of shady twats.

Can I lend a caravan and some cousins for the said ‘inspection’ Gypps?

Will I fuck.

Yeah, fuck off. The council/immigration are coming around on Thursday to inspect the fucking gaff. So that gives me one day to scatter gimp masks, bondage gear and monster dildoes everywhere and buy a Jimmy Saville outfit and a cigar for when I open the door to them. We’ll see. Standby. I won’t be on here tomorrow as I’ve a busy day ahead. Fuck off Bill, you horrible heartless cunt.

Laugh it up, cunts. It’s not fuckin funny. Stupid Cunting bitch hasn’t thought this through. The twatting truffle-pig we’re getting isn’t even blonde.

I’ve been there Raaaso. Gorilla trekking on the Virunga National Park. It’s fuck all next to Cantrill Farm or Speke. But it is where I met Idris Elba and his family.

So, at the start of this Ukrainian invasion thing, Mrs Cnut is in tears watching the refugee crisis unfolding before her eye on tv. (Don’t ask, an accident at Girl Guides when she was younger.) She insisted that we offer at least one of the poor blighters a home and some security. I nodded but didn’t think it would come to much. Without going into too much professional detail, she went to work which involved, by chance, flying 300 Ukrainian tourists who’d gone on holiday to the Caribbean back to Europe as whilst away old Vladimir had rolled into their country and they couldn’t go home. She told me that she’d met a lovely 24 year old, single Ukrainian woman and had stayed in touch as the poor woman was shunted throughout Eastern Europe for the next four weeks. The wife told this young lady that she could stay with us as we have several spare bedrooms here. Now, a single, 24 year old female Ukrainian moving in seemed like a lovely gesture and, feasibly, an opportunity for filth based activity in my eyes (not to mention my nob.) I asked the wife if she had any photographs of the said refugee-ess and she showed me a picture taken on the rescue flight of her surrounded by about twelve Ukrainian women. It looked like a fucking Miss World line-up, all in their early twenties, all about 5’9” tall and blonde. Except for one. I dismissed the grotesque, fat midget gargoyle cunt in the picture and asked the wife which one was coming to stay. Take a fucking wild guess which one we’re getting? Yup…the only fucking female in the bunch that the Red Army wouldn’t rape. I’ve tried to convince the bint I married that this is not, perhaps a good idea anymore as Ukrainians are thieving cunts and often carry Ebola but she’s not having it. So…there you have it, eleven Kelly Embergs to choose from and we’re getting the fucking Bella Emberg of Kiev. I hope Putin kills her.

Whereabouts on the Amazon are you? You’ll struggle for a signal until you sail into Amsterdam, according to Roops the piss-flap flasher.

I hate the kopshite Cunt, Raaso. He’s from Hoylake, very close to our gaff. He’s definitely a chutneyferret and I’m glad the cunt got killed in the last movie. He needs outing.

So, Sinn Féin…going forward?

Simultaneously?

Billy’s a hymen thief. Roops won’t let it go…well, after she initially did.

A little bit of you wants to though, out of badness?

Reported.

Usual. Bent ref and a win for Murder FC. On the plus side, no innocent Italian children were trampled to death at the game. Why the fuck do you care? Aren’t you a Glentoran fan?

I see she’s up to her old tricks again.