Dyslexic cnut

Carl Sway levels of talent.

Thanks for the weekend piss-up Raaso. Truly memorable bro. I had no idea that Eric was half-caste, Decs was rather shy and introverted and Eddie was ginger and had freckles. Just goes to show you eh? Did you get round to fucking Roops? Sloppy seconds after Billy though? You dirty voodoo cunt you. Fair play.

Don’t be so ‘cocky!’

I did it a great deal with Bill, Doc. He’s just ‘rehoused’ our refugee after a difficult three months at our gaff. I quite liked her but Mrs Cnut couldn’t cope. She was timing her showers (19 minutes ffs) and even monitoring her bog paper usage. Anyway, Billy’s got her a full-time job, a lovely bed sit and he’s pouching the govt’s £350/month now and the £1000 rehoming grant. I get free Xmas trees for 10 years and the use of the M4 when I’m darn sarf for a weekend next month. The ungrateful cuntess hasn’t been in touch with us once since she left, mind you, it was @Neil who came to pick her up.

Bit big though for your family of fuck all.

9000 miles away and being concerned. Truly tragic.

Fingered her, late 80’s. Musty quim.

Aggressive bunch of cunts this weekend, and no mistake. You’re all fucking nuts.

That’s no way to talk about the wife.

Sloppy, poorly constructed, wooden and weak. Do it again, dead Cunt.

Empty shelves. Neil’s been up that way today.

Pair of plagiarising cunts. You’ll be hearing from my learned friend @Roadkill so you will.

Go sell bullshit someplace else…we’re all stocked up here.

Still got the hymen key ring?

Fuck off. You’re working my corner.

My auld fella requested ‘Another One Bites the Dust’ for his final bbq song. My Jam obsessed mate had ‘Going Underground’ played when we torched him.

I left a message for you on our family group Whatsapp, Raaso. It’s good that you invited Dad. I’ll try to get there but I’m sailing on the Yangtze in Spain right now. I went to a bullfight yesterday, with an open mind. I have never been so disgusted, appalled and upset by an event in all my fucking life. It cost £10 to get in, £3 for a can of Coke and I was sat so far at the back that I couldn’t even see the cows getting stabbed. Thoughts?

Don’t panda to me, Neil.

One of which is your good self, innit Doc?

Even in a hot air balloon with headwinds, to Sicily, it’s not going take that long, Neil you daft cunt.

Post of the month.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_SQ4ogstDVE

A word you must be familiar with, Pen?

Well, he doesn’t mind being a satsuma because for your information, satsumas are really intelligent, actually…like dolphins.

Do it, Doc. You’ll become the only former medical practitioner in Western Australia with both gingivitis and herpangina of the jap’s eye. You can monetise that kind of uniqueness down there.