Dyslexic cnut

26 minutes ago, Frank said:

I don’t know.. I might. Energy’s a bit low these days. Double-jabbed innit. 10 years ago, if I’m honest, I could’ve quite easily come over and strangled the entire Ape family. 

Knock it off, Frank you daft twat.

40 minutes ago, Frank said:

 

https://ibb.co/kJFXThr

Lonsdale trainers? Well fuck my old army boots.

6 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

We grant citizenship to these murderous fucking pigs. We bend over backwards to accommodate their beliefs and disgusting medieval practices… yet serving members of the Gurkha regiment who fight and die for this country, aren’t allowed to live in it. 
That pretty much sums up where we’re at.

Not to mention the LB…3/4 of which resembles a sex offenders list.

12 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

You'll be telling us all you or your Dad 'knew the Krays' next, most likely in a nomination. You utter bellend. 

I can’t see any of Pen’s posts, Raaso. Has he put his own recipe for Bollocknaise sauce up yet? Lol.

6 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Frank, you senile idiot, you've tried the Gun sole/Plimsoll 'gotcha' a while ago. 

Anyways, they don't look too bad to be honest. The blue b ong my particular favourite, the brown ones look like you've had your feet up @Witheredscrote's arsehole. Awful. 

The cunt looks like he’s tied two Weetabix to his feet. Anyway, @Frank would you too be seen dead wearing a Speedmaster with a cheap aftermarket strap? What the fuck is this?

1 hour ago, Ape™️ said:

Care to explain what the cunt is in this ridiculous load of fucking drivel? Bolognaise recipe is the title, just in case you’ve forgotten.

How is this, in any way shape or form a ‘cunting?’ @Mrs Roops…do your fucking job regarding this little adolescent spastic.

1 hour ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Again, sorry you’ve come to this conclusion. 

How many days, Doc?

31 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Give him a few more likes and he might pretend to give your advice some consideration.

Steady on, Bill. Apologies for that abuse last night. I’d been taken out for a nightcap with Drew. I wasn’t myself.

3 hours ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

 

I've noticed you pair cunts topping the leaderboard lately... which has clearly gone to your stupid heads, hasn't it? A failed musician Hermaphrodite and a failed half dead French 'Racing Driver' strutting round like own the fucking gaff... No, it's not on. 

Considering you both eat the sweetcorns out each others shit, it would be no shock to discover the pair of you manipulating the leaderboard, if I could be bothered to check. 

Give it a fucking rest and fuck off.

Uncannily spot on. Verminous fuckheads, both of ‘em.

2 hours ago, Frank said:

Confided in who? Sloppy. Else"s?

You’re not equipped for a grammar battle, Frank. Last warning. Cunt.

2 hours ago, Eddie said:

No the herring smell was only because you flies were open, filthy French toad. 

Ed. I’ve got a pal who thinks he’s Charlie Big Bollocks these days. He’s taken to posting clips of him kicking back and swigging beer in his outdoor hot-tub thing, you know, all neon lights and bubbles, the prick. Here’s the thing, his wife confided in mine that the fucking thing is second hand ffs. A second hand hot-tub…that’s like wearing someone else”s soiled boxer-shorts, surely? It is the kind of thing that the French would do…sitting in bubbling, steaming stranger spunk and fanny batter and gloating.

20 minutes ago, King Billy said:

He sounds OK to me.

You stupid, squalid fucking cunt

3 hours ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

Hi Ape, I'm after a bit of advice, is it safe to use water out of the tap to wash my car with consideration that it's supplied by Anglian Water and probably has more traces of shit in it then my toilet bowl after 6 pints of Guinness and a vindaloo? I will also add that the car is a Renault so covering it in shitty water isn't generally going to distract the attention from the piss poor French engineering and etch-a-sketch design features. Thoughts?

Otherwise known to you as ‘breakfast?’

1 hour ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Ah chaps, how nice of you to think of me. Nice you’re taking an interest in Indigenous cultures. I’ll no doubt run into a few for my impending long Anzac weekend when I’m driving down to Esperance to fish off Lucky Bay. I’ll be back next week for a bit of snooker maybe. There’s a nice place run by Thais up the road where you can get a massage while you watch a frame or two and mull the old easy pink/tight brown joke. 

You definitely shouldn’t come here. Awful, awful place. Besides, we’re full. Bloody immigrants causing a housing crisis. Or so my neighbours young niece was saying this morning when she was telling me about her OnlyFans account. Seems there’s money in it. Half the world seems into it. 

Have a great weekend, fellas. 

I’ll be in Rome, Florence, Milan, Lake Como then over to Venice before heading home after a couple of nights in Geneva. Admittedly, not as stimulating as getting covered in dust and shite whilst fighting off mosquitos and killer snakes and spiders…but, whoever in Europe can rival the limitless stimulation that you have down there on that floating cow-pat littered with neantherthals tamed by a criminal underclass?

Do fuck off…you pretentious failed Brit.

28 minutes ago, Ape™️ said:

😂😂😂

Jesus bastard Christ. Did this Corner big-hitting veteran just say what I think he did?

On 22/04/2024 at 16:23, Last Cunt Standing said:

 

Frank, you have achieved a rare feat. You’ve made me agree with @Wolfie.

With the ongoing collapse of Fiat currency, the capture of the House of Windsor by a death Cult, and the coming war in the Holy Land, I’m taking this very rare agreement as the Fourth Horse of The Apocalypse and have started packing my belongings into the Ute to set off to the middle of nowhere tomorrow. 

I’d say it was nice knowing you, but by all accounts you’re a bit of a Cunt. So enjoy the snooker. If you really do live with 30 miles of SW1, it might well be your last.

Don’t Look Up. 

How many days has it been now, Doc?

On 12/04/2024 at 19:16, Ape™️ said:

The number of cunts I see with a single bucket of water and a brush, scrubbing away at the paint of their very new and expensive cars, makes me shudder. No pre-rinse, no snow foam, no two-bucket system, no starting on the roof and working down. No - just a scratchy old brush, some washing up liquid and a manky chamois leather to really ensure the car is scratched to fucking pieces. Fucking idiots.

Fuck off.

I use a bucket of soapy water and my JSP Maxuum 4500psi water-blaster for the bare-metal finish. If its good enough for 60’ luxury inland yacht, it’s good enough for my 1 year old Bentley.

2 hours ago, peglegtwo said:

British people moving to Australia are raising the collective IQ of the population down there

A cockroach or @entitled little cunt would raise the IQ of your average Abbo…which says it all really.

56 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Anyway, as I was saying: Cambridge college returns 18th Century Aboriginal spears

Sometimes the old ones are the best.

 

When Christ fucked off, 2000+ years ago, he told the Abbos to ‘do nothing until I get back.’ The cunts took it literally. I can’t for the life of me comprehend why a marginally intelligent, medically trained British graduate would regularly fuck one.

51 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

Lighten up.

Fuque off you French cunt.

1 hour ago, camberwell gypsy said:

He's the stepson 

Is he ginger? Because if he is you're allowed to beat the shit out of him. It's in The Magna Carta. 

I twatted him several years ago, Gypps. He was pulling all sorts of kung-fu moves on me so I dropped him with a solar plexus shot. Crying cunt was off school for two days.

2 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

If you want to have your points taken seriously, don't ask a question and then backtrack and complain when somebody answers it.

As I've already made clear, both here and on many other threads over the years, I'd like to see all of the Allah/Yahweh worshipping fucktards in the Middle East bombed back into the stone age (which isn't too far for most of them to go.) If every Mosque and Synagogue in London was likewise obliterated, so much the better.

 

…and the Barbican.

37 minutes ago, Neil said:

I can't imagine having to put up with a sock, I don't even like my own

My real son is an even bigger cunt.

2 hours ago, Frank said:

Considering the amount of time you waste barking at anything that moves, it’s no surprise you’ve ended up with a spoiled and obnoxious little Bitcoin shithouse for a son.

Buying a 23 year-old an air fryer as ‘one’ of his Xmas presents tells us all we need to know about the parents. And he lives in a flat, not an ‘apartment’, you idiot.

 

This retort could have worked but don’t ever start a sentence with ‘and’. Ever…never again.

1 hour ago, Hammer of Cunts said:

I blame the parents.

I call him ‘my son’ but the truth is, he’s the step-son. HC, I never even had the pleasure of shagging the missus when she was ten years younger and worth one…I just picked up the bill for the said shag a decade later. What a fucking shit show of a life.