Cuntybaws

May you burn in Hell for all eternity, along with the late MikeD.

Dear fucking Christ, what is it? It's fucking hideous. There's something terribly familiar about it, though...

Then I must apologise for my unfounded slur, and for raising your blood pressure.

It's either that or a fucking Snowball, Dan, you should count your fucking blessings!

Things people will never say about Gyps, number 17. Eloquent, sophisticated, effervescent - all words she can't spell.

Simply print out the entire on line illustrated Encyclopædia Britannica (around 32,640 pages in 32 handy volumes) and then cross out the few things you do know, Keep the remaining 32,638 pages for future reference.

If ever a phrase on the BBC succinctly summed up an entire nation it must be today's, "Another dismal batting collapse".

Potayto, potaaato.

I've written to ISIS several times now suggesting they fill a crop-dusting 'plane with napalm and put machine guns on the wings. I was rather disappointed not to see them implement this approach at last night's Merseyside derby, but I live in hope that they're going to target the New Year Rangers v Celtic game instead. They could "dust" the entire ground in the first pass, then swing back and strafe any survivors.

If? I doubt even Paddy Power would give you odds against that.

Personally, I think they've taken the ad campaign for "GTA Berlin" just a little bit too far.

Why don't you prepare us a list of all the things you have no idea about so that we don't accidentally expose your ignorance and make you feel bad? I imagine it would make "À la recherche du temps perdu" look like a Ladybird book. Perhaps you could illustrate it to make it more interesting?

I nominated that at the time but it got deleted. Not sure what the difference with this one is. Xmas, vehicular carnage, bad jokes, too soon. Oh well, go figure,

My initial aim was merely to wind up the feral Jock scum in my home town when I told them what I'd done, but I like your version much better so that's what I'm telling everyone from now on. Cheers!

An unfair nomination - it's patently obvious that Mrs Roops can use Google with the best of them.

I'm sure I must have told you that I actually voted for Thatcher when I was resident in Finchley. What do you think about that?

I'd fuck her!

I observe all such atrocities on here, obviously, but seldom bother to point them out. Life's too short. I do, however, factor them into my patent-pending grading system along with a host of other variables, objective & subjective, which determines at any given time who ranks where in terms of being the best/worst on here. Who needs a fucking Leader Board when you've got that.

"other" you say? Well, you may be right...

From "Alan Yentob" I'm getting "anal boy, ten". Where there's smoke, there's fire.

Blimey, Withers, it didn't take old FatMong long to strip away your external veneer of bonhomie and get right to the heart of your dark little soul.

Well, if it wasn't you're/your it must have been of/have. It's not as if Judge didn't mention it often enough.

They've got form for this, the fucking cunts.

I'd rather have shagged Herman Munster's wife than Brucie's. (Not to mention Marilyn.) Fred Gwynne was not a cunt.