Jiggerycock

Sorry to butt in on what has turned into a fisting daisy chain (plus ca change), but I rather liked the impassioned rant of the OP. Apart from the obvious comeback of 'well what do you expect from ASDA - a monument to gormlessness if ever there was one', it' sums up the downtrodden plight of the working man in a body of work approaching Difford and Tilbrook standards.

Good to see the Aversion (perversion?)Therapy worked

If it's 'Nee-co-lah Sahr-co-zee' why isn't it 'Pah-ree' Do we call it Koln? No we call it Cologne.....unless your Peston or Lyse Doucette and you call it some verbal blancmange.

It's the 'Mustn't grumble' uttered by the Downtrodden, that you know would just love to go off on a filibuster of a Grumble, starting with the state of their Spastic Colon and finishing sometime ere Michelmas with a good old seethe about 'the number of Darkies there are about the place', that really makes me want to rip off their stupid heads and shit down the hole.

You had Brony at 'Big men....'

"I'm going to climb you like a pole then ride you like a mad dog through hell" Mind you, this actor bloke called Ron Jeremy who I saw once in some art-house film, whose name escapes me, once came out with an absolute stinger whilst doing the nasty with some pneumatic starlet. Quote: 'Talk to me about your asshole!' Would have given my high teeth if she'd have turned round like the girl in the Exorcist and gone "He's Spanish, called Roberto Soldado and is the organic definition of fucking useless - now get back to it, fatso!"

A retinue of cuprinol-dipped, eyebrow-crayoned shouty bints enact primordial mating rituals with perma-grinning tattooed 'sides-o-beef' in an display of intellectual muscle that makes EJ Gumby look like Jacob Bronowski, presided over by a (tautology alert!) brick-thick Mancunian in the grip of terminal cliché-its. The paradigm of where Britain is as a society in 2015.

Isn't that the place Terry Waite was held hostage for 5 years whilst doing missionary work there?

The entente not-so-fucking-cordiale between me and Tesco's went south when, not content with selling me the contents of my weekly shop (condoms, Vaseline, Swarfega, bullets - that kind of caper) you arrive at the checkout to be confronted by sales chits for their Loans, Pet Insurance and Internet service provision. Is there no crevice of our commercial life these graspers don't want a part of? Penny for the Guy? Bob-a-Job week? Jesus Christ, throw a 10 pence piece into a buskers hat and the Usurers Hand of Tesco's catches it mid-flight and makes off with it, with a rebel yell.

Was thinking very much along the same lines. Rather than cunting her off, I'd have thought she'd be poster girl for the Cunts Corner Massive.

That's all we need. That cunt Sting braking off from his one-Enoesque chord on the bass guitar, to deliver some po-faced homily about vegetable rights.

My favourite mini album? Anal Beard Wank Material by The Strechheads including the ground-breaking 'Barbed Anal Exciter'. Now that's how to party you little pussies!!

'Keyboard Player??????' What the fuck is this shit. It'll be cocking saxophones next and you know where that leads? Ian Anderson hopping about like a spastic toad, with a fucking FLUTE, that's where!

'Keyboard Player??????' What the fuck is this shit. It'll be cocking saxophones next and you know where that leads? Ian Anderson hopping about like a spastic toad, with a fucking FLUTE, that's where!

Perma-grinning, Essex 'side of beef', slightly running to fat, career about to go down the tubes with as much speed (and slightly less grace) as the impacted fecal matter I grunted into the old Armitage Shanks this morning. Armitage Shanks? Sounds a bit like a James Bond villain? Maybe he's out to smash the cistern?

The reason why these herberts fuck off to the arse end of nowhere for months at a time, is because they're such twats no one can stand being in their company for more than a minute. Francis Chichester was a cunt.

'All I Want For Christmas is You' Looks like she found 'you'......then ate it.

Left-wing firebrand when in charge of Sheffield City Council. Chums with Arthur Scargill....The Peoples Republic of South Yorkshire back in the day. Came in like Tyson - leaving like Audley Harrison

I'm off to fight the rooks for some roadkill!

....and she clearly thinks she's one of the new style-guru sistahs, up there with Lady Gangrene, Bouncy et bleedin' al.

I think you'll find there is a precedent here. I'm certain I read a Jane Austen novel with swearing? “Pardon me, Mr Bingley, would you be so good as to fuck your retarded bitch of a mother up her necrotised arse then cut off your own pitiful cock and eat it?” That kind of thing.

That's a fucking rubbish haiku

Are you ready for what? The tsunami of cum Brony will unleash on Christmas morning when he finds what Santa has left in his (latex) stocking?

Jim Carrey. Word to the wise Jim. Jerry Lewis did the 'gurning like fucking Joey' schtik ages ago. It wasn't funny then, it isn't funny now

....or 'fuck of'