Roadkill

You've opened Pandora's box, Mullsy. Get me talking about F1 and I'll talk you into the fucking grave. Your head will explode like Jules Bianchi taking a crane to the face in 2014. You'll combust in a ball of flame like you've just crashed a Honda RA302 into a petrol station. Good thing you don't give a shit, eh? I'm going to fuck you like Timo Glock fucked Massa in 2008. You'll leave this place in complete and utter disgrace like Nelson Piquet Jr after crashgate.

No, but I do flip Cosworths.

I remember 2011 when there was Lotus and Paki Lotus on the grid:

Ferrari are a bunch of cunts. I'm a Williams man.

Can't say for certain, Decs. But you can have him anyway if you want. I'll give you 15xp and the key to the chastity belt of the Elven Queen upon completion.

It's like them Mackem kids in the 1800s stampeding each other in a theatre to get to some sweets. Some cunts are destined for the mines, some cunts are destined to fight in public over Mars Bars and sometimes destiny calls early.

For someone who can't be arsed, you really do talk a load of shite. This was also fucking weeks ago - have you honestly waited for me to come back on here just to tell me you don't give a shit?

Fuck off. I win.

That was in Wales and therefore fucking hilarious.

The posh cunt has dreamed of this day his entire life - much like a little girl planning her dream wedding. Thank fuck he'll be dead soon anyway and I imagine even the most gullible, flag waving spackers will struggle to look kindly upon another expensive Royal Wank Fest in the near future.

Not really. The cunt was a ginger and that little piggies' wife must have been shit at fighting to get beat up by a blind bloke. Was a bit harsh going after a copper with a shotty, too. Our thin blue line blokes are all sitting in the car eating crisps and using the blue lights to cut in at the McDonald's drive through types. The odd hateful little troll with a grudge from being bullied at school, but mostly alright cunts who'll bring you a cuppa once they've got you in a cell for the night. The women are all 4'6 20 year olds who make you behave by looking like they're going to burst into tears if you ignore them. Fair enough glass them, brick them or nick their truncheons, but a shotty to the face is a bit unsportsmanlike.

Bay of Pings.

I don't like it when you make sense, Panzybaby.

Ok, credit where it's due LOL.

Just dig a hole and push your caravan in, Gypps.

Grudge holding tribals kicking off in the Utopia that is free and independent Africa, shining beacon of democracy and unity lit upon the ashes of oppression? Well I never.

Of course it doesn't. This just adds to the tragic comedy that is modern day politics. The dirty, corrupt, money grubbing cunts are so determined to appear saints that they're stumbling into their own pitfalls. You really should get into politics, Roops. I think Parliament could use a cunt to tell them to stop being so fucking hysterical over personal opinion and public image. Admittedly your years on the corner might result in a lot of lectern-punching and political assassination, but the trains would run on time.

... Says the cunt who wants us to build hundreds of warships of varying size and capability from a few Scottish shipyards, with absolutely no idea where we'd park them, then send them to Antarctica with vague orders to "hold the line" as they wait offshore in the freezing fucking cold for the contractors to build a habitat capable of supporting human life in harsh conditions, extracting, storing and transporting materials and housing a large garrison of troops. What you were spouting wasn't any kind of geopolitical strategy - it was fantasy dependant upon what ifs and time travel. What I was saying was nothing more than pointing out the faults in your logic. You persisted, I took the piss. Geopolitical fucking strategy, indeed. Oh la-de-daa.

When your example for a nation not being cowardly had "Foreign" in its name ...

You think they're Reptyle? Interesting. I'm off to read Wolf of the Plains for the second time - a brilliant suggestion from @Eric Cuntman - and have a cuppa. Hopefully the accused has a credible defence ready by tomorrow morning.

I gave up with this one Decs. "Why don't we?" "Because we can't and even if we could it wouldn't work anyway." "...We still should though..." "..." "I weawwy, weawwy wish we would."

They probably just tell him he's writing to Santa at this point. I genuinely wonder how many DARPA employees have found themselves assigned to acquiring Ben and Jerry's and Twinkies. The Secret Service blokes must change a lot of nappies.

So they paid us to build an aircraft carrier so they didn't have to pay for an aircraft carrier? I suppose it makes sense - they've always been shit at sea and we're obligated to save the fuckers for the umpteenth time if anything kicks off.

What the fuck am I supposed to say to this, Wolfie? It could be Monday? Stop prophesying the doom of mankind at me you miserable cunt. Jesus titty-fucking Christ!

The Navy will never reach the same level of might it had pre WW2. No Empire to defend anymore, no industry to produce the ships and no infrastructure capable of maintaining them. It all got sold off to pay for lend-lease. Or to China or the third world. The Queen Elizabeth and Prince of Wales are primarily NATO ships dependant on foreign support and technology. Any potential disagreement with, let's say, the Yanks over, let's say, valuable territory in Antarctica and they're nothing more than really big bath toys. What little navy we do still have has been built to this specification for seventy years. I guess we could get some lads on HMS Victory to go and tell the cunts what for, but I wouldn't like their chances. We'd never see the benefit of such resources if the situation got desperate enough for cunts to be willing to pay to extract them. At best the territory would just be sold off by gurning politicians with suspiciously fat pockets assuring us that it strengthens Alliance X.