Decimus

I did the same, as I started to suspect Johnny may have lifted it from here and posted it on some low brand imitation cunting site, like isacunt.com, forgetting it would have a later date than mine due to him being a stupid fucking cunt.

Imagine being that fucking sad and/or useless, that you have to use other people's words to make up some content on a shitty forum at the arse end of the internet that less than two dozen people will ever probably read. You really are a prize cunt, and I can't begin to tell you how pleased I am that you won't ever be allowed to live it down. I wouldn't bother logging back in, Johnny. There is nothing The Corner loves more than catching out a bullshitter and never letting them forget about it. You're fucked. If I have time and I can bear the thought of reading through your awful fucking drivel, I might check some of your other "original" submissions. I wouldn't be surprised to find you've ripped off dozens of other posts.

So, let me get this right, it's gone from being your own work on "The Old Corner" to someone else's entirely on a completely different website. Of course you've gone fishing, and I'd stay fishing if I were you as you've been caught hook line and fucking sinker here. If I were in your shoes, and you had evidence that someone who has given you shit incessantly on here was copying and pasting someone else's material, I'd provide a link to prove it. In fact I was in your shoes, and provided a link to my nomination that you shamelessly tried to claim credit for, instantly making you look a cunt. Don't you want to claim my scalp, little Johnny bullshit? Here's your big chance. Show us a link, you plagiarising shit. If you can't you're finished here and you know it.

Please don't apologise, on behalf of every other member, I can assure you it's entirely fucking unnecessary

Keep digging, Johnny, you back tracking little wanker. The only thing worse than trying to take credit for someone else's work is being fucking stupid enough to try and do it in the presence of said original creator. Apparently you copied and pasted it from somewhere, if it's yours, or anyone elses, and you didn't outrageously copy it from my own nomination, where did you get it from? You've made yourself look a right cunt here, Johnny. Fancy being that sad you would try and steal the material of a shit rant on a shit website that no one else will ever read.

I have, "from the original cunt's corner site". It's on this one and you said "I have a good description", intimating it was yours. You've been caught with your incontinence nappy around your ankles, the board is going to want answers so you better make it fucking good.

I thought this sounded familiar. You plagiarising, bullshitting cunt, that was posted by me on here, not the fucking old site. I can't believe a wanker even as spectacularly thick as you would attempt to pass off the work of someone else as your own when the site has a fucking search function. You've been caught out, Johnny, like everything else that comes out of your mouth, this was yet again complete, lying bullshit. Explain yourself.

Johnny, I can't help noticing that you keep referring to New Zealand as being a "paradise", almost as if you're trying to convince yourself as much as us that it's true. If your idea of paradise is living in the middle of fucking nowhere in a prefab house, in a country poorer, less significant and twice as expensive than the UK, then I guess you're living the dream. If that dream also includes having fuck all to do other than fuck sheep and walk up hills, then you truly are blessed. You fucking thick cunt.

Anyone else getting images of Drew? Our very own stair case challenged spastic, lairy as fuck on spesh and frothing with rage in his scooter, constantly talking absolute fucking shite that no one else can understand.

Cancer.

I think there was a point where at least six other members had you blocked, Pen. The only one who hasn't relented as far as I'm aware is @PANZER MURPHY

Pen, you're like every embittered, low-level grunt I've ever encountered. The same old tired stereotypes could probably be heard when the pyramids were being built "Old Akhenaten just shuffles papyrus all day, what does he know about the fucking "day job". The ticket stamping, envelope sealing, useless cunts of the world, such as yourself, always imagine they know how things could be done better, but have absolutely no idea about the realities and constraints of management. Stick to subjects you're actually qualified to comment on, like which charity shops have the best selection of size 12 stilletos and knickers baggy enough to stash a nine inch cock in. Have a nice day 🙂

Oh yes, I forgot that on the huge list of menial jobs you've done, post room monkey at a council is on your CV from 20 years ago. How can I argue with such an in-depth knowledge of the workings of local government? You fucking idiot.

Ey oop, pet, come 'n' sit on tha' uncle Ding's knee. Oooo that feels reet good, I tell thee.

No, Johnny, it wouldn't be ok. I've got three small children and I wouldn't feel comfortable you being anywhere near them after you previously came out with this:

I do miss some of these characters, Spotto, especially the type who would send pictures to try and prove something. I can remember Jazz getting in a froth when challenged on his expensive Lalique collection. He sent a photo of what appeared to be a mantle piece in a caravan that was lined with dusty cheap cat ornaments that looked like they'd been purchased from some old dear's stall at a boot sale.

Unlike Johnny, he has provided us with some top entertainment over the years. Here are some of my favourites: 1) Taking a photo of a monthly "wage slip" that he had obviously knocked up on Microsoft Excel himself, showing that he had earnt 10K after tax. 2) Another photo purporting to show the oolitic Cotswold stone of his imaginary mansion, which actually ended up being an image of a half-finished Wickes kitchen made out of breeze blocks painted in mellow cream. 3) A furtive snap of his alleged Audi. This was taken whilst peeking out of a tiny window and zooming in on a parked car 50 metres away that could have been fucking anyone's. 4) A final selfie of him wearing incredibly gay, tight denim shorts, which also displayed his disturbingly child-like and tiny hands. He really was a complete and utter fucking wanker.

I don't really care whether you believe me or not, it's hardly something I would make up for kudos. Bearing in mind I've known him since I was 17, it'd be pretty fucking odd if we'd never shared a jar. Tell me another porkie about your five storey, prefab tin house that you erected without planning permission. You're a poor man's Monumental Cunt.

I've actually been for several drinks with another member who shall remain nameless. I'd like to take you for a pint, Johnny, of fucking bleach. Idiot.

I fucking hope so.

It was a happy coincidence, Neil. I remembered doing a similar but superior nomination so decided to use the search function to drag it up. Imagine my delight when I saw that you had created an almost identical thread to this one a mere 16 months earlier. Please don't ever again have the audacity to assume that your nominations are memorable enough for me to instantly recall, it shows a completely unwarranted amount of hubris on your part.

Indeed, I can picture the dead-dadded cunt driving around rural Oxfordshire in his Hummer, his old man's body tied to the roof rack. Trying to fit in with his atrocious Dick Van Dyke accent whilst simultaneously wearing a 10-gallon hat and stars and stripes chaps.

Repeat bollocks.

He does, just like when he hilariously quotes the wrong person. He'll be posting videos of him breaking wind and slipping over on banana skins next. What a fucking useless Pasquale cunt.

It was a lifeline, I was expecting one of your classic "I can imagine you now..." monologues. Don't say I haven't tried to help you.