nocti

I suppose this is the closest I will go to unmasking myself on here, but I'm in a fairly well paid job. I could do with a bit more, but I feel I'm not alone in that sentiment. With that said though, I don't feel at all driven by money or possessions on that well travelled path to what we call "happiness". At the risk of sounding like some Zen bastard, capitalism confuses me because to me the more you have the more you're burdened with. I appreciate this is a little off from the OP topic but I forgot to quote deebom and can't be fucked to now. VW can fuck off. That blue motion I owned was more thirsty than other cars that don't claim the "eco" tag so fuck off you cunts.

Have you been talking to Harry Potter?

Up there with cunts that say "should've gone to specsavers". Funnily enough it's them that end up going after I've forced my fingers so far into their eye sockets that you can hang your coat off the dents in the back of their head. An honourable mention goes to retarded workmates that attempt the meerkat accent. Fuck off, drink bleach, then die wherever "off" is you shit eating cunts.

Only visited once, due to parts of the family tree being rooted there, and even as a teenager I was instantly aware of how fucking Wicker Man the place is. I was told on more than one occasion that I was "accepted" around there, for the aforementioned family tie reason. I can't say I'm in a rush to go back. As said before in the thread, parts are very visually stunning, but that is sharply counterbalanced by the unmatched cuntery of the locals who think they're some kind of master race, when in fact they're just a glorified version of a "groovy gang" holiday kids club. Get over yourselves you fucking tossers. Give them the independence, then when they're too busy getting wankered on their locally brewed shit-tier ales and ciders, declare war on the cunts and take it back hours later.

That's the fucking spirit Sticks. Exactly the kind of attitude I expect from a being of such unfathomable cuntitude, that he is on Morrissey's christmas card list.

Any pictures Scotty? By what I consider a rather fantastic coincidence, I happen to be writing up a very scientific snippet of research into 28 year olds and I dare say that an image, preferably in a very high resolution, would help immeasurably.

I would love to see that sperm farmer do a perfect impression of Michael Hutchence in his last moments on this mortal coil. The cunt.

Where the fuck's my mention you fucking cunt? Not even a slight hint towards me; not an "iron", "twat", "wanker" or even "cuntbreed" in sight. Disgraceful. If you were on life support, I'd unplug the cunt and charge my phone you quadrabastard!

He can't be 26, surely? Cunt looks like a fucking muppet version of Manuel from Fawlty Towers.

She's also technically his cousin, the dirty cunt. Lives up to how his surname is best served. Inbred. As many cult films as the photoshopped-looking ubertwat has been in, he couldn't act to save his fucked skin. He'd fail to muster a pained expression even if you got Keith to sit on his bollocks.

Probably a load of dried spunk from his personal record breaking wank marathon earlier today. Apparently his neighbours thought the house was being burgled and ransacked, but went round only to find Wiz chucking himself around the house by his own cock.

I'm overdue on doing this yet again. I haven't done it since I was a teenager but I'm sure I'll be recalling this thread when it no doubt eventually happens again, some time in the not too distant future. As Wiz said, its a rite of passage. Right up there with sitting down a bit sharpish and catching one of your bollocks under your leg.

Liked him on Ready Steady Cook, and he played well for Cov and Villa, but that Kiss From A Rose song does my fucking tits in.

And people have the audacity to say they've got fuck all else better to do. You don't do good old British form filling-in, saying "Morning" to people, posing in photos with chinks/yanks, and pulling Punkape over for being over the limit by doing this kind of immature fucking bollocks. That silly cunt should be ashamed of herself, frankly.

If this God fellow really does hate bottery and other foul homosexual acts, many involving faeces, roman showers and the like, perhaps these calorific yankee cunts would care to explain why he'd give us Keith?

Fat chance.

That sneaky orange cuntwhistle! I'm not one to don the tinfoil hat myself Baws, but some theories online speculate that he might be a treacle jouster.

Up your standards Luke mate. Ross Kemp or no, I wouldn't touch her with yours. She looks like she drinks under a dartboard. Plus all things considered, she's a 24 carat cuntbreed.

I can't deny, I'm a little disappointed that this wasn't nomming some new game show on telly. "Next time you're parked up, and you feel your arsehole gape; think of all the fun you could be having, on supermarket car park rape!"

I tried a ouija board when I was in my first year of secondary school. In a dire moment of sheer need, I consulted the spirits and asked "Will I get a shag this weekend?". The planchette went from "H" straight to "A", then back again, and repeated for ten fucking minutes before I snapped the board and fucked it out the window. Ghosts are cunts.

In all seriousness, no I haven't. I was supposed to go through work last year, but it was cancelled. Judging by your comment Decs, I can add "thank fuck" to that.

Keith could take in a few of his socks for them to wring out, although I can't even begin to imagine what depths of depravity the next generation would sink to, being chock full of shit-covered hairy michelin men, without inhibitions, intelligence, or sense of personal hygiene.

Ding. Are you fucking alright? That post resembles the kind of thing I'd expect to read shortly preceding "...then he ended his own life by asphyxiation. Yes, his cock was hanging out but it took detectives a long time to notice it."

Fuck me spinning Bill, I'm glad I read this after having lunch. That makes A Serbian Film and The Human Caterpillar sound like episodes of Are You Afraid of the fucking Dark. Which I am now after that, you vicious bastard.