nocti

A bloke I work with returned from a week in Norfolk yesterday, and had nothing but great things to say, especially regarding beer; which is what caught my attention most as he's a bit of a boring cunt. Nice microbreweries knocking about apparently. I'm rather ashamed to admit that other than very quick flashes of insides of offices and B&Bs, I haven't had a good dig round myself. I intend to change that very shortly, especially now I've got the nipper in tow.

Cheers for clearing that up.

Gong, do you live in the UK m8?

He really is the unsung hero of the gay community. With homosexuality being more accepted around the globe, what with gay marriage being allowed and all, I almost feel sorry for him being overshadowed, and not rightfully recognised as the rightful spearhead of the iron renaissance. Apparently his gloryhole livecam website gets over fifty hits a minute, and he's currently running a promotion where the first 10 subscribers each month get a fleshlight moulded from his anus, which also doubles up as a casserole dish. Once it's been thoroughly cleaned out of course.

I visit family in the Netherlands on average every two years or so, and whenever I venture into Amsterdam I always find people really accommodating and warm. It might have something to do with the fact that I don't wear England football tops and offer everyone out that I see. Oh, and weed lost its appeal way before I left my teens, so I don't look constantly fucked either.

In my Aunt's defense, she is technically on holiday. Well now, let's not jump to conclusions...

It's no cunting wonder the Italians think we're a bunch of uncultured savages, they go through all the trouble of making them into little tubes, helter skelters, and action man bow ties, only for us to boil the utter fuck out of them so they pretty much melt back into the original state. Good call Sticks, there's fuck all worse than being served a painstakingly made perfect ragu, only to have it slathered all over and around a slop of overcooked fragile as fuck mushy shit. Disease, war and famine come close, but no cigar.

Most probably one with a dungeon full of shit.

Giving them until dawn raises the risk of them being let loose on the fucking things for even longer. Shoot immediately on sight I say.

Whilst I can relate, many cyclists don't exactly fucking help themselves with their selective protanopia.

They always inexplicably decorate said house in "neutral" baby-shit colours, so people need to decorate all over again properly when they move in, due to it looking like a fucking show home that a conference-league footballer wouldn't wank in. Speaking of bastard which, on recent paternity leave, I had the misfortune of witnessing copious amounts of Homes Under The Hammer episodes, and whilst that doesn't elevate me to expert levels, it taught me that I know when a house is about to collapse a lot better than a malteser-headed ex-ball kicker for Aston cunting Villa does.

If by "cunting properly" you mean recycling age-old copypasta from certain notorious image boards and sharing videos which a five year old on MDMA would struggle to giggle at, then you're probably right. The fat cunt did upset some unsavoury users by means of an undisclosed PM which both intrigued and amused me, so I guess there's a little room in the Hall of Cunts for him there.

Have they been washed? Tanning doesn't count as washing by the way.

Migraines are funnier. She's a fucking dullard. If she's that gullible, perhaps that same person should convince her that there's a potion out there that makes you funnier too, called potassium cyanide.

Incidentally, does anyone else think Jenny Eclair sounds like something that should be on urban dictionary? "I was conkers deep in a prostitute the other week, hanging out the back of her, banging like a spastic with a snare drum. As I reached the vinegar strokes and my toes curled up so I got the jesters shoes on, I pulled out of her arse, span her round, and gave her a Jenny Eclair! Now I'm banned from family funerals."

If you could power cars on pure cuntitude, we'd all have free fuel for life off that twat alone. He made me chuckle a few times, but he started to just post shit videos in the end, and lowered the bar below sea level.

That looks disconcertingly like a five pound note. You'd think if you were whacking a session like that on the slate of the nation, you'd up your fucking game a bit. 7/10

Does colonel's assumption ring true?

Jesus fucking Saville, Baws. I'd be living on a staple of coffee, energy drinks and cocaine if that's what awaits when the sandman gets me each night.

Good call on the Jazz. I'll raise you a Fiat cunting Panda.

I detest uppity cunts like this who evidently care more about their food than their appearance and liver condition. Wetherspoons shot themselves in the nads a bit when they "upgraded" their aesthetic and changed the menu to the point where they began to (perhaps sarcastically) offer wine suggestions to go with certain meals. I would like satisfyingly crisp and zesty, yet light as a feather and fruity Spanish white Rioja to go with my mixed grill please. Just as long as the pig that my bacon comes from was acorn-fed, the cow was slaughtered with a katana, and the chicken that laid the egg had free range of a twelve acre field, just so I can enjoy it once you've blitzed all fuck out of it in a microwave to the point where it begins to transcend matter. Bring it on a roof tile too. None of that peasant plate bollocks.

I helped out assessing EMA grants on a part time night shift many years ago, when Capita couldn't handle the sheer amount of applications and I fancied the extra income. Made me feel good doing that, and I received some bloody lovely letters from people at a few points. You should've seen some of the cheeky rich bastards trying to get some though. Why would you want an extra 20 quid a week when you're earning money that would make the Royal Family envious?

I dread to think what we win if we get this right.

I take it none of you have been to Coventry then?

So this isn't meant in the same way as, say, "boxing ring" then?