Stubby Pecker

Now now boys, play nicely. Alf is just trying to help you accept who you are; a transgender, spunk gulping rent boy ruled over by a gang of vicious west African pimps who take what they want. Likewise alf, punkers is trying to suggest you're a massive cunt, go with it!

I hate your new avatar, change it back to a colobus monkey immediately

Taking your advice I gave this a go yesterday. However, it was after cricket and my team mates were not happy, neither were the opposition as it's shared showers Thank for fucking nothing ape

That was Guy Gibson with a dog called n***r, he of the dam busters fame. My grampy also had a black lab named the same but of course it wasn't an offensive term back then as there was no one to offend. I was speaking of fighter ace with two tin legs, Douglas Bader. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douglas_Bader

That's cruel wolf, you heartless bastard. Good darts.

"I need a spitfire, 1000 rounds of 303 and some Germans with ghastly black crosses to shoot down"

What a disgusting, sorry vile, thought. The only scenario I'd like to entertain involving frank in a shower is him slipping and breaking his neck

'Eavens you wanker, I had cypress hill a few months ago! As a tribute to you you ungrateful cunt!

Stupid fucking wanker

Jehovah's Witness's down under have been subjected to 2500 complaints of child abuse and there were/are over a 1000 perpetrators in their god club but they didn't report a single one to the cops on 40 years. The reason why is they're sticking to a 2nd century bible rule that requires 2 witnesses to report a wrongdoing. How convenient. Next time these deluded wankers get you out of bed on a Sunday morning, before you tell them to piss off, ask them about the behaviour of their Aussie brothers. Chuck em in some croc invested swamp or allow the remaining abos to use them for spear practice followed buy eating them as bush tucker payback.

Some of my old oppos got well into the jap slapping. A great skill to have because it also gives you great strength, especially in the core and hones your reactions, but I always stuck with the philosophy of a stunning blow to the balls will stop any cunt in their tracks. Or 50 rounds from the GPMG.

Ask roops. Although she'd never admit it, old wolf has battered her round the ring a few times. Don't try head shots with him mind, his ridiculous beard will absorb your blows.

Darren gough got wickets thanks to a massive inside edge and a dodgy Pakistani umpire! Watching the highlights now and listened to most on TMS. I'd stick em in again if the conditions are the same I can also see the benefit of batting them out of the game. It almost seems when a team gets a decent score the others can't accept that they've got to work hard to match it. That's why there's so few draws these days. Like wise batting for a draw. Safas have fucked this game in one session of lazy, spineless batting.

350 would be a good score if we can get Amla and du Plessis cheaply

Because the pitches in CC are too seamer friendly and not conducive to stacks of runs. Those who have scored heavily recently have had a go; Compton, Duckett, lyth, Robson etc but none of these have consistently done this for many seasons thus proving they were purple batches. Also openers in CC play expansively because they know there's a ball goning to get them. Bowlers like sidebottom, onions and dozens of others send it down 80mph and get stacks of wickets that's why they've got ride of the toss to get the pitches better. The main route to the England side is the lions where the players can be assessed on tour. Good test players should average more because of the better pitches and more time to bat. They need to sort out the cricket season though and space out the formats; we're now in a solid block of t20 so blokes like haseeb won't play any 4 day cricket for almost a month

Batting first at the oval has to be done. From what I've heard on TMS all the batsmen got pretty good balls except Jennings who seems dodgy on off/4th stump, so at least they were got out and didn't give it away. Cook needs to go big and a couple of decent scores from the rest and 350-400 should be attainable. But of course the safas have to have a bat on this belter. Apparently TRJ has a stupidly long run up

They couldn't realistically pick Haseeb because he hasn't got any runs this year but he'll play lots in the future. Hales is a massive front footer- the exact opposite of Ballence- but he essentially ended his test career by not touring India where ironically the pitches would have suited his style, especially as an opener. We went for Duckett instead who was hopeless. If the safas win the toss today they stick us in so big vern can have a bowl with his 75 mph dobbers

I've been shocked and disgusted by the things I've learnt here via you punkers. To give you a proper cunting often requires research into the nefarious practices you constantly mention. The eyes can't undo that shit, and you're to blame

But you're not short of your encyclopaedic knowledge of all things gay, AIDS and generally homo

Go on Rick, more of the same and finish him off Or is it your turn to play punkers tonight? I thought Spotto had him week nights as you were busy with the other ids?

I love it when Celtic brothers get together for banter. Makes me envious of their proud cultures

I thought you'd gone on holiday? Cancellation? Airport security thought your club foot was a bomb? Stupid fucking wanker

I sense a tear in you're eye as you remember buying those Erasure 7 inches....

The general rubbishing of science has been a growning trend for many years now despite our unprecedented connectivity to the wealth of knowledge we have. Just look at trumpy and his march towards the rapture. At least half of our species needs recyling or we're all fucked.