Ape™️

Don't get me wrong Edders, I really do appreciate the effort - particularly the helicopter. My only criticism is the inclusion of Fatty, as he really detracts from the otherwise brilliant image of success and affluence.

Who is the scruffy looking wanker in the picture? And what's that white stuff all over his hands? Looks like a painter & decorator or a tyre fitter.

Just keep Fatty out of it. That will certainly lower the tone, the big-eared cunt.

Make sure there are some expensive looking watches on view, as well as some random photos of your property portfolio. You could have the S class slightly off camera too, just to hammer your affluence home.

Hmmm, that's a tricky one. Something derogatory about Stickers?

Sweet. I imagine the exhaust note must be magnificent. Do you imagine that too?

Sounds nice. V12?

What about the Jag? Have you imaginary-purchased that yet? You promised some holograms of it, remember?

An alien concept to him, much like sex with a woman.

His current rodent obsession means he's got a load of USB cables dangling out of his arse.

I'm not discussing a subject such as this with a stupid little cunt like you. Fuck off.

It's about time a final solution was found for you. I have a number of suggestions, including a 1MN hydraulic press. Fuck off.

Are you actively seeking cooler time? Does being "banged up" give you some form of sexual gratification? You're a strange, twisted little wanker, and I wish you a painful death. Fuck off.

Yeah, shut the fuck up @Punkape, you weird little cunt.

Fuck off Dan. Have a like Bubba.

You are clearly incapable of: 1). Coherent speech. 2). Independent thought. 3). Contributing to society. I'd say it's time to kill yourself.

Looks like Dan is drunk again. What do you imagine model helicopters to smell of, you spectacularly stupid cunt?

I have to pop into town today to pick up some items of stationary, and so decided to go into W H Smiths. Upon entering I was immediately confronted by an unpleasant odour, but had no idea where or what it was coming from. As I continued round the shop I walked through several pockets of intense aroma, where it really was strong. The smell was a combination of body odour, urine and shit, and it was really starting to make me feel quite sick. Anyway, curiosity prevailed and I decided I must find the source of this vile aroma. Then I saw it. A long haired, bearded, filthy, tracksuit wearing piece of scum, looking like he'd never washed in his entire life. At ground zero the smell was truly unbearable, with people close by visibly horrified by the stench. I left the store as fast as I could, desperate for fresh air. How people get into such a state is beyond me and actually quite sad, since they are clearly unaware of the effect they are having on others. Dirty, smelly fucking cunts. Fuck off.

One of the most articulate and sensible posts I think I've ever seen from you. Fuck off.

We know you don't wear jeans. Why would you want to obstruct your shit pipe?

With the amount of arse-action you engage in, I'm amazed you'd bother wearing any form of trousers. Fucking poof.

Even your insults have an element of cock in them. Fucking poof.

I'd love get this fucking turd in some form of torture chamber and say "you lose one" [cut off a finger] "you lose one free" [cut off another]. I'd continue this until he was a fucking torso, after which I'd set him on fire.

It's clear that you've awoken with cock on your mind, despite having it up your arse all night. It's just cock, cock, cock for you isn't it? Fucking poof.

Fascinating.