Ape™️

The fact you've been "keeping a close eye on me" speaks volumes for what a strange, creepy wanker, devoid of any form of life outside of an Internet forum you are. Stupid fucking idiot.

Thus allowing you to satisfy your lust for big, fat cocks up your arse, eh?

One of them must be wrong, and since I neither know, and more importantly care which one of them it is, it's best that they both shut the fuck up.

This reminds me of when Zeus gives the command to release the Kraken, although what's being released is more like a Spacken.

It's just a flesh wound.

*whoosh*

No. Not in the least.

Perhaps he should have finished learning his trade before publishing his little book? Being rich doesn't automatically make a person good at something.

Are you trying to imply that I've somehow missed some subtlety of what you're saying, and that you aren't making a complete cunt of yourself?

Do you enjoy battling with Roops, Ding? She seems to whip your scrawny arse with consummate ease, leaving you looking a right cunt. It's excellent entertainment - keep it up.

It's amazing how a old nom, only revived because a French scum-cunt was looking for Ape material to (hilariously) comment on, can create such renewed interest.

Fuck off, you dreadful little wanker.

Have you got a spare?

The sooner you realise that you and humour are poles apart, the better. Stick to being a sly, devious French wanker - you excel at that.

Lol? Well I'm certainly not "lol" at this. Fucking dreadful.

Tesco mystery shopper? Care to try and explain exactly what the fuck you are talking about, dopey?

Tiresome, predictable wanker. Fuck off.

Like how much cock you can take in an hour?

Wanting you murdered doesn't constitute a threat - more a really big wish. Fuck off.

What if someone were to post a PM to name and shame a slithering French hypocrite wanker, for example?

I have ordered not one, not two, but three crates of poppers! We are having it large!

You seem to be getting a little obsessed with Ape. You've searched back to a nom made three years ago just to enable you to make another of your oh-so-hilarious little comments. I notice the reference to balsa wood in the edit too. Once I'd stopped laughing hysterically at your comedic genius, I actually felt a tiny amount of pity for you. In direct response to the content of your post, I am pleased that you once considered me great. It's highly unlikely anyone has, or ever will bestow such praise upon you.

Loving the fact 'eavens "liked" this drivel. You need to take a long, hard look at the continual stream of dreadful noms your program posts. It's time you were updated, reformatted or preferably murdered.

You, of all people, should keep your mouth firmly shut when the subject matter is shite noms. Your back catalogue is staggering. Edit: I've just processed your latest stats and your Cunt Index is now at 1.29 - an all time low. You've been posting an awful lot of utter shite lately, and the index reflects this. Try and remember that quality is more important than quantity.

Someone famous or well known has died. Quick - post a nom about it on CC as soon as possible - that'll be entertaining. Take, as a very recent example, the death of Barry Norman. Look at the lazy, useless wanker who immediately nominated it.