Ape™️

Bricktop.

The heat is probably from pizza boxes slowly composting.

Of course you have. Stupid fucking prick.

None of your fucking business.

OK I'll put the house on the market first thing tomorrow.

Yes. No. No. Fuck off.

For the second time in a week, goods I have ordered online have arrived damaged due to utterly fucking shit packaging. The latest, a far infrared heater for our conservatory, has arrived looking like it's been in a fucking war zone. A fragile and expensive piece of electronic equipment, so poorly packed it beggars belief. Combine this with the morons who work at the courier companies, who give zero fucks about anything they deliver, and it's a recipe for disaster. Utter wankers the lot of them.

For an avid shit eater like Quincy, cling-ons are eaten like grapes and regarded as a delicacy.

Cancer!

If there's even the slightest chance of you dying, I say we should meet up.

It's ironic you should reply, as I have you down as the type of cunt that does exactly as I've described. You and Ding. Fuck off.

There's generally one of these cunts in every place of work (that's where people with jobs go, Extremecunt). They love to appear to have got the wrong end of the stick in a conversation, so they can then make an oh-so-hilarious little joke. Last week, one such cunt managed to hilariously ask me why I was taking my dog to the doctors for a flu jab. Oh how I laughed.

He should just fuck off - he's a tedious little prick. Anyway, enough of that cunt. How are you? Played today? Weather has been glorious here today.

He's certainly not paying taxes Punky - he's a fucking disgrace.

Wanker.

You failed.

A picture of some money and a post it note. How does this prove you have a job exactly? Why do you feel the need to brag about this shit to a bunch of complete strangers? Wanker.

Her house is also occupied by a lazy, selfish waste of space who needs to get off his fat, fantasist arse and get a proper fucking job. Wanking over a tablet all day is not a profession.

Luckily for you, the same rules don't apply when men open their bottoms.

You stupid, selfish, pathetic fucking idiot.

Careful Punky - this is a trap.

You're shitting me!

Played any golf this week?

Fascinating. Do tell us more about your business.