Witheredscrote

6 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

My son is 23 years of age. He has an Honours Degree from a reputable University in Business and Marketing and makes a pretty good living trading Bitcoin and other NFT type shit that I don’t understand.

Unfortunately, he gleans all of his political opinions from the inter webs and cunts like Andrew Tate. In short, he’ll espouse any conspiracy theory known to man. Be it JFK, Hitler was a decent man, Putin is the kind of President that the West needs, homosexuals should be killed and he’d never marry a ‘Western woman’ because they are all ‘cunts’ and Islam has it right.

The last one is a bit odd in that he seems perfectly fucking happy asking his mother to do his washing when he has a mummy-funded, brand new and serviceable washing machine and dryer in his apartment.

We bought him an air fryer as one of his Xmas presents. When we dropped his fucking washing off last week, the missus noted that his air-fryer had not been used. When she asked him why he said…’Teflon makes men gay!’ Apparently, non-stick technology is resulting in rampant homosexuality and cancer. Conversely, snorting beak, smoking weed and guzzling MDMA every weekend is a healthy option. What a fucking cunt generation of ill-informed wankers…going forward…we’re fucked with this lot.

DC, you should have 'nipped this in the bud' years ago. Man up, and kill the screwed up little cunt.  

How much do you want for the air fryer?

2 hours ago, Penny Farthing said:

How does he pick his nose?

With Frank's cock? Fuck nose.

1 hour ago, Frank said:

It’s a well-established technique in armless snooker throughout Lahore. Commonly known as the suck-back or ‘ واپس چوسنا’ in urdu, it provides very little advantage over able-bodied players. Look how he uses his tongue (03.12) to follow through with left side on that blue. 

Actually they speak Urdu Punjabi, and it probably says 'I rimmed Frank', and the 03.12 is the time it took for you to shit in his mouth.

23 minutes ago, Ape™️ said:

You’re correct - this rule-bending could really give him quite an advantage over players with arms. Fucking cheating cunt.

Oh, I don't know. It's 'armless enough.

5 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

There is so much more to Jamaican food than Jerk seasoning, Withers. Next time you venture out of Basildon, I mean France, send me a PM. We could meet up on Harrow road and get some Caribbean food, I might even listen to your tales of your failed racing career in the 1940s. 

Fuck off.

I have tried various Caribbean dishes, and truthfully, I liked them.  I simply had a bad experience with Jerk, after Eddie's wife admitted to not washing her hands, after cleaning the bog. The both of them are all big cars, and no Toilet Duck. Filthy cunts.

6 minutes ago, Frank said:

Pakistani Ikram Bibi achieved a 52 break with his chin. Bigger shoulders than @Dyslexic cnut too!

 

Frank, to be honest, I hate the game, but providing you can stop Eric Wikicuntman from posting on it, it should go well.

6 minutes ago, Frank said:

I was anticipating a different vibe to this thread, Withers. I'll be dedicating myself to this over the next two weeks, and I'd appreciate if you'll adapt to the intended spirit of the game... without having to repeat yourself.

That's a long nightshirt Fadi is wearing. I'm sure you will have no trouble lifting it though, before you pot the brown.

56 minutes ago, Frank said:

Welcome to Frank's ultimate guide to this year's World Snooker Championship! As the prestigious tournament unfolds in Sheffield, this thread will serve as your comprehensive guide, delving into every match from start to finish. Whether you're a seasoned snooker aficionado, a newcomer to the sport, or a total dullard, join me as I dive into all the drama and excitement over the next seventeen days.

 

Why not shove all 22 balls up your capacious arsehole again, you stupid cunt.

2 hours ago, Penny Farthing said:

Are you running today?

Only from his anus, after a bad jerk chicken dinner.

34 minutes ago, Frank said:

Welcome to Frank's ultimate guide to this year's World Snooker Championship! As the prestigious tournament unfolds in Sheffield, this thread will serve as your comprehensive guide, delving into every match from start to finish. Whether you're a seasoned snooker aficionado, a newcomer to the sport, or a total dullard, join me as I dive into all the drama and excitement over the next seventeen days.

 

Why not shove all 22 balls up your capacious arsehole, you stupid cunt.

On 17/04/2024 at 22:58, Snowy said:

You don't have to post any little thought that comes into your brain, take a chill pill,sit on a dick,what ever floats your fucking boat,anything but this.

You misspelt cyanide.

35 minutes ago, Frank said:

My nan’s in this doc. What a life. 

 

I'm sure she is Frank.  Steinway used her teeth to veneer the keys, the horse faced old hag.

20 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

 

 

 

742,891,457,674 days since we began to suffer your running commentary from 9,000 miles away about a subject very few give a flying fuck about.

We've been getting on a little better recently Doc, and I welcome this, but please give the Nicholas Witchell wankfest a break.

On this subject, one questions why we have to endure the endless shite posted by ELC.  Salman Rushdie eventually got stabbed, after writing endless bollocks.

I live in hope.

16 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

Klaatu Varada Ncuti

Why did they bother to invent the colour t.v? Every cunt on the screen is either black, or a shitty brown these days.

I suppose Eddie is pleased though. 

19 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Are you supposed to wash them? Mine just keeps working if I put oil in it once a year and change the big rubber band on the end of the engine every five years.

Previous owners Noddy & Big Ears?

3 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

The wife’s leg calipers are superb & made in Sheffield. @Mike Hunt?

Riveting.

1 hour ago, Ape™️ said:

Thanks Eric - you’ve made me cry. I think the vast majority of people on here aren’t nasty, spiteful, devious fucking cunts in the real world. It goes without saying this doesn’t apply to @Frank. 

i am.

4 hours ago, Eddie said:

The dirty old man sent me a pic of said umbrella up his arse, cured my stutter over night.  

Um-um-um- bre-e-e-e-la-la-la.

Bullshit.

8 hours ago, Frank said:

Mike, there's no hiding the fact that your delivery is plain awful. Nevertheless, I don't like to see a fellow member taken for a ride. Mrs H sounds like she's truly rotten to the core. I'll revert after lunch with a plan. Standby.

@Eddie, I  bet his plan involves umbrellas, the filthy fucker.

4 minutes ago, Eddie said:

Wanker withers whistable, I have been to Samphire for lunch, couple of benders serving, bet you know them? 

What did they serve you, mince?

3 hours ago, Eddie said:

I’m dusting off the Harley withers, whistable bound, I know you shouldn’t really eat oysters  if there is a ‘R’ in the month but wtf, I hope one kills me. 

Withers Whitstable.

10 hours ago, King Billy said:

£99? Boots are selling the latest Pfizer jab for exactly that price (fact check it), so that would be 99+99= £198 just to self poison oneself and pay for a lift to A and E where you can wait for about two years to be seen, once the ugly cunts have perfected their latest tik tok dance routine and then if you’re lucky they’ll slap a ‘do not resuscitate’ sticker on your forehead and chuck you in the skip on their way out to the picket line for a few new selfies to post on Facebook in one of their ‘FUCK THE TORIES’ groups. 
Nurses used to be well fuckable and always up for a bit of Irish cock when I was a youngster. Wtf has happened to the NHS nowadays, infested with purple haired cock blocking fat lezzers with LGBTQ+ etc. etc. etc. rainbow lanyards hanging round their scrawny Turkey necks, most of which would burst if a half decent cock tried to slither its way downwards. 
And most of them stink too.

 

KB, to assist @Eddie with his research into Frank's sexual  proclivities, I have been contacting Central London A&E depts, to enquire if any male patient had been admitted with an open umbrella up the arse. All negative, except a triage nurse at the Chelsea & Westminster who said 'Frank hasn't arrived yet'.

11 hours ago, Frank said:

Eric, are you saying - five times within the past three days - that you have some sort of allergic reaction to chocolate?

Of course he's allergic to chocolate, and it ruined his career. The only steady job he ever had, was eating out Marathon bars from George Michael's arsehole.

9 hours ago, Eddie said:

I hate those Palestinians only slightly less than I hate those Jews, only slightly less than I hate withers. 

That is Withers with a capital W. Got it now, you flat arsed chancer. 

46 minutes ago, Frank said:

That last post puts me in second place on the LB, and with dickhead decs self-medicating on young cock, I'll be the best on here come the weekend. 

Frank, I never thought I'd say this, but you have become an absolute bore, to such an extent that I have started to find Eric Wikipedia Cuntman interesting. Please take your fucking dog, your Gouda scoffing fucking wife, and the fucking leader board, and fuck off.