Frank

You’re repetitive and boring.. somewhere between wiz and olly, and your jazzy effort was over-exaggerated tosh devoid of any humour. There’ll be no further communication between us.

Wrong. It highlights just how low standards have dropped in recent months. And you seem as surprised as the rest of us to see your sorry arse up there.

With Eric Cuntman in at number 1, what does that tell you, Withers?

I love this.

Poorly executed but thanks for the additional info in you pm. I managed to trace the sap in three clicks. What an extraordinarily odd looking little fellow.

Did you know that his young lad has a lazy eye.

Olly will you shut the fuck up! Boring fucking cunt.

Wolfie the Haddock?

Noted.

I’m sorry to hear that, alf.. there’s only so many times one can rewire the house. Are you getting out a bit? I don’t know gyppo’s current marital status, but she’s partial to weather-beaten rickety old cunts like you.

The funniest thing I’ve read for weeks was you running out of letters on your final attempt to change your username. Are you married, Alf?

When he vigorously defended his curry recipe shortly before aborting his staycation last year, it almost made me cry.

Alf. I like him. Solid.

I don’t like him.

We’ve been over this, wolfie. It’s nothing to do with money, ego or class you idiot. It’s about style and at least the cunt is having a go. You sit there in the safety of your working boots for life, spouting your suburban views, but you haven’t got a fucking clue.

Ape scrape the silver skin from the batter and discreetly stick it in your pocket together with the knife. Go and watch wanderlust on the iPlayer and wait for Mrs A to go to bed. Sneak upstairs, creep into bed and pummel the scaly skin up Mrs A’s bumhole. Stab yourself in the eye.

No

Fuck off withers you idiot.

This is extensively covered by panzerknacker and the world’s fucking press. What’s your point, olly?

That’ll earn you some long awaited likes, you creepy fucking queer.

I have 6 hours. Stand fucking by.

I'm sitting outside St Paul's Cathedral eating a falafel. Life is wonderful in London town.

That's about the short and long of it. Gagged, bound and hopelessly trapped inside your tiny head. Pitiful.

Lie low you pathetic weak little cunt.