Frank

Roger I’ve been on the end of this sort of shit in the workplace. You have my sympathies. How long have you been there?

Next to no input whatsoever, yet I still remain probably the most popular punter ever. What’s the attraction, baws?

Idiot.

The last bus I took was the 142 from Burnt Oak Broadway to Brent Cross circa 1984. I had a Saturday afternoon job at Lilley & Skinner and now my shoes are made at Lobbs. I made it happen, Judge. Where did you go wrong? Life is wonderful in the Dolomites.

You have no right to be here. Tomorrow morning I’ll be back.

I’ve polished off a whole carafe, Alf. What do you want?

I’ll be fifty next year, bubs. I don’t want to come across all Gyppo, but I’m struggling a little. I was at Boisdale the other week.. cigar and whiskey tasting evening on the terrace in Pimlico. Some disgusting Indian whore was chatting me up and I asked how old she thought I was. ‘Mid fifties’ she said confidently.

I was addressing bubble. Why do you always stick your wordy fucking nose in? Eat shit.

Carafe.

Bubs I went to Luxembourg to buy a car. It broke down en route to Calais and I’ve found myself at the Chateau de Grandvoir in Belgium. I’ve ordered myself a carafe of house white and I think I’m ok. Okay?

Reported. Mrs R?

Pile of shit.

I haven’t looked at his post-to-like ratio, but I’d imagine it’s on par with ‘eavens and slightly below Fender’s. You’ve never really rocked my boat, baws, but it must be said that Wizardsleeve is probably the thickest member the board has ever seen.

If little old Pen has you running around in circles and foaming at the mouth, what chances do you have against big hitters like me? I’ll tell you.. fucking no chance. Never have and never will.

You’re so excitable all the time.. like a nervous lost child that nobody wants to take in. Take a breath and look at the shit you’re coming out with. Christ!

Fuck off.

I know you won’t take this to heart, wiz, but I think there might be something amiss upstairs in that thick fucking head of yours.

I did miscalculate the days. The point I was trying to make is that you need.. we need.. a holiday away from fucking decimus and co.

If you look at the 7 members who liked his ‘my naym iz Harrvee’ post the other day, I think it sums up more or less where we’re at. Effortless but excellent work on wiz, by the way.

I’ve PM’d my thoughts on this repeat fucking chancer. No more proxies, please!

You simple old cunt.

Shut up Alf, this is far worse than your pathetic antics.

No, I don’t expect you to ‘Alf out’. Roops has already outlined our recent software investment that guarantees to out obsessive multi wankers. I know exactly where you’ve been, but why the J Bull character? What’s in it for you?

Don’t get excited.. no one cares where you’ve been or why you’re so desperate to return to all of this. I was politely requesting an explanation as to why you fabricated a 6 day all-inclusive holiday to Greece.