Frank

Fair do's Ed. However, If you're honest with your dire self, you'll agree that you are punching a little above your weight. Idiot.

You are quite simply awful in every respect. A humourless and jazzy fucking nothing. Kill yourself.

You're trying too hard, eddie.. you dim little manchild. Fucking students.

You thick sap.

Dicky Boom Boom of Alpine Glazing in Stanmore taught the Whittaker how to correctly whistle 'Cavatina'. Most people simply blow a tune willy nilly with no regard to technique. It's all in the sucking. Saps.

'That thing you got on your head is a phoney, and it comes from the tail of a pony'. Not a cunt.

Very few tourists in Seville. ​I saw José Tomas in Nimes a few years back… the spic took eleven ears and a tail in one afternoon. Marvellous.

Drop the abuse you stinking scavenger. I was politely enquiring about the state of your Mary. Shove your sandals up your cheap thieving arse.

An old mincer of your standing should not be reduced to trading insults with the likes of kid Snatch. There's thick, then there's thick... then there is Snatch. Good morning.

More or less nearby... Seville-Cadiz-Veyer-Tarifa. Do you have a dusty dreadlocked and matted fanny like most of the travelling Brit-gyps in Spain? Fucking Bob Marley on loop, converted transit vans and unwashed toilet dodgers.

I'm making one last stand, decimus. To destroy all that jazz.

It's been a long time, spotcunt. I see it's all satnavs and smart phones these days.

... probably some dried up old potato-chips stuck in your gob from the night before... you dirty whore. I won't ask again.

Assuming you were dressed in your usual finery... flared and frayed stone-washed jeans, Stone Island military top and dirty shoes, your face fucking boast is at best questionable. I was in Seville for the start of the bullfighting season. How about you and Gobbie joining me in July for the Pamplona 'Running of the Bulls'. She'd deepthroat the legs of them hairy toro's.

Is Mr G about this evening, Gobbie? I need a face that needs a fucking. I've got nibbles...

I can imagine you dolling yourself up, stepping out up west, lump in throat.... waltzing into places where you know full well you don't belong. Mutton dressed as fuckin mutton. How are you Jackie?

Rambling and waffling... nothing more, nothing less. Tapping out two bob, witless and wankery fabricated stories, upsets me no end. Idiot.

Pile of shit.

I know where you live.

Did we meet in Spain last week?.. pitch and putt down in Cádiz province.

That's no way to greet an old comrade... minkey. Your £30 Chinese wizard really put paid to my mockery of the weak. Bully.

​I had to buy my way back in, Proper... the usual. I stopped drinking over a month ago. I can't think of anythnig to say. Shit.

​I've read the rules and I've read the rules. I missed you so...

​The rain is Spain falls mainly in the plain. Silly sod.