Eric Cuntman

Seriously?

Near McDonalds on the one way system, right next to QD.

I've grown up a lot since I used to bully you at school,I understand that my unkindness has led to this angry emotional state you now struggle with. I can only apologise for it all. I'm sorry I pulled the tails off your "my little ponies" but you can't have any of your dinner money back because I spent it. Only joking, now fuck off before I hit you properly and leave your jaw hanging out the back of your skull.

How the fuck did a bunch of kangaroo shaggers get hold of your baby pics? (Pictures of Gurt taken in his infancy)

No Argos

Dinky toy steam roller, in pink

Seems Gurtrude and Gape have a little thing going, I wonder which one of them is frank? Or perhaps they both are. Hope not, he might be a premier shitcunt but at least more creative than this pair of fucking no mark playground fairies. Try harder girls. Here comes the next barrage of repetitive boredom from the spaz twins.

Jing goebells jing goebells jingle all ze vay, oh vot fun it is to ride in a panzer every day.

I knew Heinrich when he was just a nipper, always knew he'd turn out a wrong'un.

And pierrepoint was the fucking spitting image of Barry out of auf weidershein pet!!

Wasn't Ruth Ellis played on telly by that bird who was queenie in blackadder 2?

Innit blood.

I tried to hit "like" on that one but I've wasted my 10 today giving mine to EC coz he moaned that he didn't have enough, the vote fixing fucker!

See what I mean, total discrimination against left handers, if they'd had wooden grips I would have ground off that fucking ridge

It kills the brain last when injected so you're probably about to tell me not to bother with it coz I would survive anyway.

The ones I'm going to empty into your slippery love tunnel as soon as you PM me the address of of your loony bin.

No but there's a fuckload of morphine in the house.

Ratcatchers were fucking great for a jumped up air pistol with a bit more range. Isn't it a shame that firework manufacturers now put that shit in the powder so we can no longer split them open, pour into a crimped copper pipe and make bombs.

Webley tempest and the longer barrelled but otherwise identical hurricane were great pistols but I am left handed and the grips had a thumb suage ridge on the left hand side so I didn't get on too well with them.

If you take a look at roadkills artwork from last night you'll notice that he has great tits and bubba is portrayed as the kind of American male who hangs around roadside diners trying to pick up teenage girls and later rape them in the back seat of a Chevy camaro. I however am portrayed as a member of the ku klux klan with a stock portfolio.

Leave penny alone quince, I am embarked on a campaign of seduction, I can't wait to find out what lurks beneath those Tena-pants.

At least he has that nice comfy premier inn bed all to himself now. I remember the two of them visiting Ethiopia for a comic relief mission, I bet they really appreciated seeing what it looked like to eat 14 meals a day.

Ok I'll bite, what do you call a dog with a spade??? You're going to say dawn French aren't you?

Unless you're Hugh grant and you have a fuck ugly rancid prostitute on your lap

Be careful what you wish for, walking round in circles on a motorway slip road shouting "DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE I LIVE?" Is not a cool look.