Eric Cuntman

It's long been rumoured that Manchester Utd plan to build a new stadium near London so that their fans can get to matches more easily.

And poor Lemmywinks.

A leek wouldn't touch the sides of an orifice more accustomed to unlubricated pumpkins. mind you, I bet there's a few sub-Saharan cunts who've 'taken' a leak up his arse.

What with all the death and heartache associated with it, you would have thought that the people of Liverpool would have had enough of football and taken a different sport to their hearts.. ...Squash, for example.

Busted.

I'd do it with Marge, but I'd be thinking of Jessica Rabbit.

Imagine the state of the dressing rooms at the loose women studio. the very fabric of the building, permanently infused with the stench of gin, piss and evening primrose oil.

Bit extreme for me Decs, I did bang one out over Lois Griffin once though.

Cunts called Daniel who shorten it to Dan. Without exception, all cunts known as 'Dan' have Airedale terrier beards, skinny jeans, big long clown shoes and tribal tattoos. 'Dan', they must think that they're some kind of, tough, brute, grizzly wrestling mountain man cunts. Wankers.

No, he's not married to Gyps.

And he does sometimes employ mechanicals to kick people's heads in.

And his wife fucks pikeys.

Don't be CROSS.

Yes, and his sister Victardia was married to big Mong Cannon.

I would STAKE my reputation on it.

Bonanza

Sappy fucking Mother Theresa type cunt.

I fucking detest those ones that sit next to cash machines. I have actually walked to another cash point simply to avoid having to engage such wankers in conversation. The worst of them are the ones who sit with a sad looking dog, knowing full well that the majority of people will take pity on the dog whilst caring nothing for the tattooed junkie sitting next to it.

Jim McDonald is back. so he is, so he is.

Sometimes, when rummaging for his wood, he grabs the shaft of an iron by mistake.

He's slagging off the lead singer of Jamiroquai. they're a popular music group, like the Glenn Miller Orchestra was when you were our age.

Greatest episode for me was Bubbles bringing home the mountain lion and calling it 'Steve French'.

Poor little Randy.

Greasy!

It's difficult to say. And don't call me Shirley.