Eric Cuntman

I am grateful that I was born normal. and so is my conjoined twin.

Touched a nerve have I? i bet those 1970s surgeons made a right fucking mess of your artificial fanny.

Bollocks, it was corduroy.

It's been building up for a while. Reached a peak after watching Major Phipps escape attempts from Stalag Luft 112b last night.

Just watched the highlights/report on the Nigeria vs Iceland game. All they were going on about was the fact that Nigeria have the best selling kit. It really isn't about sport anymore is it. stop the world, I really want to get off.

Now that you're a giant penis, with no arms, would you consider selling me your Spear & Jackson No 3, with brass handle?

Get the fuck off my obstacle Private Pyle! now give me a like for totally busting your source material.

But you must admit, far more erudite.

About time we stopped acknowledging and pandering to the wants and needs of attention seeking perverts. These cunts are never satisfied, it started with the LGBT movement, and every week, they add another letter of the alphabet to accommodate another splinter group who are desperate to be acknowledged. How long before paedophiles are looked upon sympathetically because 'it's not their fault if they're born that way'? Its all just 'look at me' bollocks with no substance, half the cunts who've spent their adult lives as homosexual men, and eventually waste a ton of NHS money being surgically transformed into a woman, then decide to become a fucking lesbian! Well if you've now decided to be attracted to women, why not realise that while you still had a dick to fuck them with? Pure fucking attention seeking, "look at me" shite. Absolutely despicable, but nevertheless, inevitably leads to a lucrative career in 'showbiz'. Start by executing Rylan Clark, Alan Carr, Brian Dowling, Graham Norton. And then exterminate every cunt who follows them on Twatter.

I can see another meltdown on the cards for troll boy. It's not even 7 o'clock and he's already flailing his spazzy little arms around like Harry Enfield's 'short bloke', looking to provoke a confrontation with his betters.

Heavy session?

I was 10 at the time, one of my favourite footballers of the era was Ozzie Ardilles. Felt sorry for the poor cunt regarding the abuse he got over the Falklands, wasn't his fucking fault.

I don't think Keegan was ever forgiven for missing that header in the World Cup, Trevor Brooking had delivered a perfect cross, all keegan had to do was nut it in, but no, he had to do that flick of his perm and missed it. Plus there was that disgusting, faggoty Brut 33 advert with him and Henry Cooper, smacking each other's arses in the shower. Not surprising that someone opened his canister with a baseball bat.

He is a little ray of sunshine, the original inspiration for Marvin the Paranoid Android.

I'm ok with lactose. The only debilitating allergy I have is Hydrogen Cyanide, heartbreaking to watch others enjoying it, knowing I can never join in.

Don't gloat too hard, it's surely only a matter of time before you get caught out for whatever trickery you've employed to get away with the other train wanker ID.

I think 'stranglewank' was one of mine. You're welcome to nick it, as long as you promise to use it in any future conversation you may have regarding David Carradine. Wank softly grasshopper.

Not something that ever took off in Ethiopia, every time they see a panini, they try to eat it.

"YEEEHAAAW" Go big blue. I wonder what happened to Extremecunt, any theories?

I've never been fooled Panzer, I've always known that you're Namibian.

Got, got, got, got, need, got, need, got, got, need. Remember how exciting it was when you opened the packet and saw one of the silver foil printed club badge ones?

I've made a right cunt of myself and not thought this through. I'm just going to live solely on 'responsibly sourced, ethical fair-trade peace granola'.

Of course. Conclusion: best undertaken wearing hi-vis and safety boots, woven Kevlar gloves and hard plastic clip over wrist gauntlets and industry standard face protection, under supervision of local authority ethnic lesbian inspectors with air ambulance on standby.

Douse in salt and vinegar, bundle between 2 doorsteps of freshly cut crusty bread (real butter). violently compress with palm of hand, enjoy. Gordon Ramsay's a cunt

He's a kid with an unusually large appetite, made worse by a thick mother scared to say no, for fear of a tantrum. Felt sorry for his dad, who wanted to go with the Doctors suggestion of gastric band surgery, but the mother didn't want to know, claiming that it might make him unhappy! 9 times out of 10, behind a problem kid, is a cunt parent.