Eric Cuntman

I know you miss him terribly.

Speeding his tits off. Tongue and lips bitten ragged like a rawhide dog chew, cock covered in blisters from that, 'impossible to finish' wank, and his living room covered in sawdust from spending all night engraving patterns on his coffee table with a Dremel.

You really are a nincompoop.

You're part of an exponentially expanding majority.

Agreed.

He was quite happy when he successfully bid on one of Dan Marino's jock straps on eBay. Come back @judgetwi, you miserable, hilarious, utter fucking cunt. @Major Cunt and myself have had a bit of a tiff and your return could help to rebuild the relationship.

He wasn't apologising.

Judgetwi will be overjoyed.

You are suicidal aren't you? This is comparable to a halibut picking a fight with a tiger shark.

The wheelchair ones.

I love all of you. Just not all of the time.

Lenny Henry wearing an enraged bull terrier on his face would certainly get my approval. The dog being owned by a member of the black 'oppressed' yoof he cares so much for would be the icing on the irony cake.

Will you go 'Snatch' on him and show him 'The Power'?

He's certainly been spreading a lot of Ectospasm around the place.

I don't think Harold can actually die. He's a poltergoost.

I was very proud of you both.

I love it when you post as Frank.

I think it would be more wilted than warped. But I'm not a marine biologist so that might be wrong.

I'm an excellent driver. Excellent driver. Yes.

That's it. Why do I remember things other people posted and they don't.

Probably about a year or two ago.

It was some cartoon baby monster thing that you used to demonstrate the terrifying result of a Geordie fucking a Mackem.

Have you still got that picture of a Geordie/Mackem hybrid?

That's because your progeny are the result of liaisons with drunken Mackem women and the children are too thick to find Newcastle.

And doing a shit on her tits. I'm old fashioned.