Eric Cuntman

Fur-gedda-bowed-it

I just opened a 400g box of liquorice allsorts. No Bertie Bassett and only 2 of them little blue bobbly ones. Fuckin wankers.

P45 for Christmas?

A true gentleman. The David Niven of Cunts Corner.

The irony of the Piranha brothers, was that Dinsdale was probably less mental than Ronnie Gay-Kray. Jug eared pair of retarded poofs. Pity Charlie Bronson didn't kill them for fun when he had the chance.

Pigs cheeks. They rave about it, but it's tough, chewy fucking shit. And any cunt that scoops out the guts of a still living sea urchin, and puts it in their mouth, is a filthy fucking scummy shitcunt.

The modern phenomenon of superstar chefs is unfathomable. We had one over here called Keith Floyd. He described himself as 'a cook, nothing more, nothing less'. another of his criticisms was levelled at Marco Pierre White, Gordon Ramsay etc, 'insisting on being referred to as 'Chef', makes them nothing more than cunts.' personally, most of what they serve up doesn't appeal to me. If I order roast lamb, I want it cooked tender and falling apart, not dripping blood, the only heat having been applied to it, being walked under a light bulb as it left the kitchen.

Like those lucky bastards at Guantanamo, who get to waterboard and beat up terrorists every day.

Every cunt with a Che Guevara t-shirt or poster, is, I imagine completely unaware that he was personally responsible for torturing and murdering dozens of men, women and children. Not quite the 'chilled out' hippie revolutionary that seems to have been adopted as a perspective by flid students globally.

That looks alright. Bit of T-Cut and it's sorted.

Is Garrozos motor bike shop still open in blackfen road? It used to be opposite the Candy-Box newsagents.

Have you welded the submarine hatches to the pedal stems yet?

Do you not have one of those to transport your golf bats to the 'pitch 'n' putt'?

I already did that one ratty, he's popping round on Thursday to nail my head to the floor.

So when you encounter a mackem, you whackem and stackem?

I know. I was winding him up. Tell Frank to fuck off the next time he tries that. The little shit.

He has a hero-worship fixation on anyone who can go out in public.

Don't let him sleep anywhere. Shoot him in the head, and tell Miami Dade homicide that some Niggaz did it.

And what exactly is your problem with @Salty Piss Flap? Plasase refer to 'Rule #7. "No fomenting arguments or pursuing vendettas with other members". If I were you, I'd watch my step. You're on thin ice young fella m'lad. At least that's what Roops said the last time I donated. Money buys influence.. lol.

I don't get cricket. and I was good at it at school. I was better in the company softball team when I was 19 though. Left hander, fucks up their outfield if you can hit before they run across.

They were certainly keen to 'conserve' such crops during the Vietnam conflict... "ripper bravo two, expend all remaining. But don't hit the poppy field"

Quality. (Out of likes, so you get a literary token of appreciation)

Cactus?

And then bum them. Don't forget the bumming. It's his raison d'être.

No Anakin. You underestimate your abilities. Turn to the dark side I hope you do not. (Avoid Fwank)