King Billy

Fuck me it is dead cunts corner after all DC. Seriously though I’m sorry for your loss and all that but mourning all day isn’t the way forward. Get yourself round to his gaff and give his missus a good long cuddle on the couch. It’s what Mark would have wanted.

Reported

Sorry for your loss Doc. I know it’s not much but I’m pretty much free all day tomorrow and I could pop over (anywhere in the Herts and Essex area) and give his missus one up the wrongun to help in her time of grief. I wouldn’t even ask her for petrol money for the M4, but I’m sure she’s probably the type of person who’d insist on clearing that up before I’d even grabbed her arse or tits. I’m not trying to be a hero or anything but my stepmum still tells everyone that she doesn’t know if she’d have coped without my help when my old man passed away suddenly.

It’s extremely bad manners to laugh with your tongue fully inserted. Peasant.

Nothing more embarrassing than a ginger Welsh egg and spoon. I’d be very surprised if Eddie’s let any of his crew actually meet her.

Eddie has tried his best to teach her basic English Raas. Tbf she is half Vulcan and half insufferable ginger Welsh slag so he’s not had an easy task. I reckon ‘g’weh’ isn’t a bad start after only 4 or 5 years intensive coaching. Tbh I think it’s pretty impressive that she got that out even, with Ed’s 9” of black and 3” of purple permanently rammed down her throat.

I’ll hazard a guess that the entire contents of your ‘unwilling to explain’ folder would be extremely difficult to tell apart from the entire contents of my ‘unwilling to even consider the possibility I might ever be wrong’ folder’ which bears your name. The way things are going I’m really starting to think I might never give in and let you have your way with me. Sorry.

11

You know he did. Anyway I thought I told you to get fucked? As Pen seems to be always lurking around with his tongue up your shitter perhaps he could make himself useful for the first time in his pathetic waste of a life? He’s well equipped if you know what I mean. Keep your overgrown cock out of it and fuck off you boring old freak.

You know he won just like all the other ‘head in the sand’ idiots like you do. It’s OK though. I understand that your mental disorder is real and I genuinely hope you’ll one day wake up and see sense. Until then Get fucked! 😘

If she does actually exist I bet she’s got a huge dog, probably a bull mastiff or a Great Dane. Definitely a breed with a high output of what he likes to run home with in a couple of carrier bags after he escorts her and Zorba home.

Not during ‘Pride Month’ Eric. It’s not 1970 mate. The boys in blue haven’t got the time or the resources to arrest violent criminals nowadays. If they went back to that, just imagine how many ‘non crime hate incidents’ and ‘offensive tweets’ would go uninvestigated and before you could say ‘golliwog’ it would be full scale anarchy?

The sugar free ones?

Give him a break Raas. He obviously meant to say he’s got a bitch at Battersea dogs home.

Newcastle Brown?

She’s both sides of the cheering crowd, both managers, tournament director , head of security and intelligence, misinformation director, roving fact checker at large and all round pain in the arse Doc. Thank fuck we have her is all I can say.

Bring us a watermelon back Ed if you’ve got the space in your suitcase.

Only poofs say pooves Eric. It’s the law now.

The boss of Ferguson was murdered by an international hitman who went to school with the boss of Samsung. Coincidence, I don’t think so. Samsung have never officially denied being involved which means they basically admit it. And another weird thing is that no one’s been able to find any photos of the two of them together at school, or planning the hit since it happened.

Don’t ever trust a roofer Eric. Always going in about ‘flat roofs’ when any fool can see they actually mean ‘fat poofs’.

I hope you kicked his fucking stupid fucking cunt in Eric.

The picture quality of your 14” Decca monochrome portable TV may have something to do with that. Id try replacing the wire coat hanger with an indoor ariel from Poundland. It will definitely improve the picture quality a bit and you’ll be able to hang your duffle coat up in the wardrobe again too. No need to thank me Baws.

You’re very lucky then. I wish I could say the same because I’m seriously regretting buying this fucking house on the main Jarrow to London Road.

This prophecy hasn’t aged very well Gypps has it?

And Scotland.