Major Cunt

Ever read the Five Laws of Kleftiko? No. Me neither. Though I'm told It's basically a shite version of the '48 Laws of Power'. It explains the swarthy toads complete Corner ethos, and is littered with useful insults like idiot, thickster, marvelous. It's available at most bargain bookstores, but critics generally agree it's best use is toilet paper during a pandemic...

Poor old Panz is still feeling the effects of that agricultural blunder. Any bog trotter with half a brain fucked off to pastures new, and we now have several states in America claiming to be paddy. I'm hoping that they really fall on hard times and I can pick myself up an AK47, a few pounds of Semtex, and several boxes of ammunition for a song. @PANZER MURPHY I've plenty of Stirling to cross your grubby hands upon delivery. No dead Vietnamese though, I've absolutely no use for them, but you could try Frank..

Fuck em. There's still plenty of decent looking women who find the primates disgusting. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and no amount of advertising can change that.

Well, it's their own fucking fault for abandoning almost every produce for potatoes. Anyone else with a modicum of sense wouldn't have put all their eggs in one basket, or spuds in one bog. Fecking ejits...

The only skin you get under these days is your 'Buffalo Bill' skin-suit made from victims circa 2014, and then obviously tuck your tackle between your legs whilst dancing to some obscurely French ballads in a mirror...

It's a well know fact that the ruling class have a long and established relationship with Jimmy Savile House. In fact it was founding by toffs, and largely used for propaganda purposes. You were spotted on one of Sir Jimmy's charity marathons sporting a 'Persil' t-shirt and lagging at the back of the pack. This has nothing to do with physical condition as your eyes were fixed firmly on the buttocks ahead... You disgust me you nonce defending bumbandit, and if I ever spot you at a golf course I'll beat you senseless with a 12 iron. Fuck off Lol, lol, ect.

I've a feeling some serious proof reading is on the cards. The spelling issue is a contentious one if the above isn't strictly observed given predictive text. The grammar issue is however open to various standards. I never thought I'd see this place aligned with the Oxford Grammatical Society. Frank's still a cunt though!

I thought I spotted you in the audience holding hands with a Angolan refuge.

I'd wager the above will cover him for the next five years, but he'll probably post some obscure shit song that couldn't even qualify for eurovision...

Can't afford a TV licence eh, Franco? We always suspected the globe trotting lounge lizard persona was total bollocks. Thanks for enlightening the faithful on being little more than a greasy spoon owning useless wanker...

I'm a little out of touch regarding the prison estate, Gyp's. No need for semantics. You get the point...

Great. So she'll be roaming our streets again in the next couple of years once she's convinced a well meaning psychiatrist she poses no threat to children. It's highly unlikely she'll be deported as its under the mental health act. So expect to see this fucking animal on about 2 grands worth of benefits a month and the obligatory council flat. The unwashed whore should be eating big bertha's wizards sleeve in Holloway, and receiving daily beatings for this heinous act. Fucking Crown Court cunts!

You're missing the fact that Lady P is playing out a fantasy regarding the underground ballroom. The fuckers pushing 80 and jealous it wasn't there in its cock swinging heyday. I'm sure it makes regular trips to Brighton on its senior citizens rail pass where it feels at home with the trans, flans and bumbanditry fans. I agree with the rest of Brighton being infested with smackheads and wiggas who think it's New Cross.

It's definitely in the post, Gyp's. If he's even half the cunt he portrays on here I'd imagine it's a regular occurrence...

Surely the only skilled workers needed in New Zealand are either sheep farmers or sheep sheerer's. The other possibilities include slaughterhouse workers, and agricultural engineers. I did read that wealthy fat septics from Silicon Valley were spending fortunes on fall out shelters for the coming apocalypse. If your country is the safest place to hide in a nuclear war then no further evidence is needed on its irrelevance...

A classic, topical and well constructed nom by the Major. Now running at 22 pages. Come Biden's inauguration I'll follow it up, and am hoping there'll be a 'Snake Pliskin' character to add to the plot... The kind of thread @Frank could only dream of authoring. The useless balding bubble fuckwit.

We had a tenuous truce, Withers. It reminded of the time before the megalomaniac midget declared le republic, and the Royal Navy was sitting at anchor. I've no time to be getting into it with a geriatric goose fancier, and you do make me laugh on occasion. I've bigger fish to fry here right now. So like your country's fleet of trawlers. You can fuck right off!

You're right there. Old PaddySack gets a constant pasting regarding his nationality, it's EU dependant economy, and it being little more than a backwater tax haven. Regarding the CANZUK trade deal their certainly the poor relation. The only thing I know they're are renowned for export wise is lamb. Its a beautiful country but it costs a fucking fortune to visit, and I can't see postcards making the coffers overflow. @JohnnySaucePants is about as likely to reside in NZ as me sipping a daily pina colada on a Brazilian beach...

Do let me know next time you're planning to visit the West County, as myself, @Ape™️, @Stubby Pecker,and @Wolfie would like to arrange a gathering. I can't give you the full details right now, but do look forward to a surprise!

Could be. No doubt off his shrivelled bollocks on heavily stamped on peruvian. The man's does more lines than your average Premier League groundsman...

I'd imagine they all drew straws over who performed the deed, and the loosers had one hand clasping a Strongbow, and the other choking a different type of chicken. It's what passes for sport in the fens...

Couldn't have happened to a bigger cunt. If he survives (hopefully not), but will, considering he's got more dough than 'Windy Miller'. I'm. Predicting next year his car will be sponsored by 'BLM'. It's just a fucking shame they will not be building it, so I could laugh my tits off at the bouncing suspension and inevitable 100+ mph crash into a crowd barrier. The plastic ghetto rudeboy cunt.

That's the best rhetoric from a politican I've heard all year, Panz. I'm still waiting for her to slow down on the samosas and shed a few pounds though. Then she can drain my balls quicker than a sperm bank deposit, and prove my suspicion that's she's only reached such lofty heights by polishing the right pork swords. Her voice and demeanor definitely does it for me, but I think you'd have to be @Eddie to overcome that humongous derriere for a back scuttle...

Ffs. As I read the first sentence of that post and spotted the moniker I immediately thought Reptile. I was looking forward to instigating an Xbox smashing spacka attack. I new that creepy little fuckwit would return on a par with Plato.

So am i. Third generation Irish whose forebears had the sense to leave the godforsaken bogs of the emerald Isle. My grandfather fought in WW2 and was part of the British expeditionary force, and was completely uninterested in Irish politics. The North ends just above the North Midlands. So I suggest you spend your endless free time consulting the above map...