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Cap'n Cunt

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About Cap'n Cunt

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    Proper cunt

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  • Location
    A big house with three shitters
  • Interests

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255 profile views
  1. No, I'm the Duke Of Fucking Edinburgh, and I whip the odd homosexual footman at Windsor when I'm not too busy shagging the Queen. 'Lol'
  2. No. Perhaps I should have Googled 'Who tied Einstein's shoelaces' before posting. Stupid me. I'll go and have a fag downstairs in the communal garden.
  3. Yes, you're right. Look at this dull cunt....
  4. I found a 1960's Reader's Wives in the dungeon at work. Hairy minges, real tits, fully-fashioned stockings......I was having a very pleasurable old-fashioned wank until I realised that the aforementioned wives are now either dead, or as old as Pen.
  5. What, when you're having a wank? You sick person.
  6. He swapped David Furnish for Bonio out of U2?
  7. Super-bummer Reginald Dwight, A.K.A Lady Elton John, has managed to beat an 'unusual bacterial infection', unfortunately. There is some speculation as to the actual unusualness of this infection - I reckon David Furniss' knob went rotten in Reg's mouth, but that's just my theory. Bacterial infections ain't what they used to be, if they can be shrugged off by a poof such as Reg. Bring back rickets and polio, I say. Them was proper manly infections.
  8. Didn't Reggie Kray nail Jack 'the hat' McVitie's hat to his head to teach him some 'respect'? Or have I got him mixed up with Vlad the Impaler?
  9. Camel Toes Kids....isn't that the Ethiopian girl band that got two million quid of the foreign aid budget?
  10. Death would be a blessed relief to someone who spent much of his life in old Durham Town, and his later years as a bespectacled whistling rent boy on the Streets of London.
  11. Anybody who's not a Christian should be doused in Holy Petrol and ignited with the Blessed Flame Of Jesus.
  12. 'Hey, lookit me with my nuclear missiles and shit' said the posturing twat-haired dog-eating prick. Unfortunately, his latest penis-substitute went off a bit prematurely and blew itself to bits on the launchpad. If I was Donald Trump, I'd show the cunt what a proper nuclear missile does, and reduce North Korea to a steaming shit-smelling ruin. They can't even build a decent fucking car, let alone a weapon of mass destruction. Wankers.
  13. Based on your description, his 'badass-ness' is taken as read. However, he must have been quite a thick cunt to forget to pull the pin out of a grenade before throwing it. I wouldn't invite him to join my pub quiz team.
  14. A 'tie'....? Is that some kind of cravat for the working classes?
  15. Nice big tits though.