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Cunts who tell you what to eat and drink


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I pulled my phone out of my pocket the other day to reveal I had accidentally activated the voice to text function. The sound of the microphone scraping against my inner thigh and bollocks, through the lining of my pocket, managed to translate into something far more intelligible than any of the posts I've seen from you so far.

Ask for a judas cradle for Christmas. You'll love it.

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poncie thin fuckers who are so prim and proper,we'll stick your lettuce leaves up your arse,because I am sticking to my diet of burgers ,chips,haggis,crisps and lard so fuck off



I bet a cunt like you will end up in my local A & E department. Of course you will get the priority, being freshly delivered into cardiac ward for an emergency quad bypass; with your swollen, gangrene-riddled cankles smelling like shit.
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Frank, you seem to be turning into an international man of mystery.... Either that or you're laundering drug money.

A man of misery, Spot. Can't bloody sleep thinking about this spot on the end of my winkle.
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Guest nobgobbler

I pulled my phone out of my pocket the other day to reveal I had accidentally activated the voice to text function. The sound of the microphone scraping against my inner thigh and bollocks, through the lining of my pocket, managed to translate into something far more intelligible than any of the posts I've seen from you so far.

Ask for a judas cradle for Christmas. You'll love it.

I hurriedly slung my phone on the window sill in the bathroom last night while I had one of those hugely relieving and lengthy pees, after which my phone said "no contacts were found, please say that again"!!!!

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Guest nobgobbler

I loaded that Shazam app on my phone that's supposed to recognise music in the background and identify the track. By way of a test I opened it up and farted loudly. It told me the track was Blockbuster by Sweet.

Should have been Blowing in the Wind, Bob Dylan.
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