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Windows (Fucking) Update


Ape™️

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I find it extraordinary just how many times my PC needs to install updates, and generally when I'm in a hurry to to use the thing. I hate Windows with a passion, but unfortunately there are still some things I have no choice but to use it for. It has just taken around 15 minutes to process over 31,000 update operations, which involved it restarting three times. I only used it last week for fucks sake! What the hell could have happened it that time that could necessitate such massive update activity?

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A long time ago I worked for Sega and then Microsoft. With software, the only thing that matters is the realease date. It must work by the release date. We would report the same bugs over and over again and the software would come back with the same bugs over and over again. Then they would release it.

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Guest JackoTC

The karate-Leninists? Fuckin splitters, just like the kendo-Trotskyists.

Its the tae kwondo Decembrists..............................oh fuck it, we could be doing this all night..............

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Guest Gong Farmer

I only ever use Windows Explorer  for installing Google Chrome. Once it's installed Explorer is duly fucked off into the pale blue yonder never to be seen or heard of again. 

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A long time ago I worked for Sega and then Microsoft. With software, the only thing that matters is the realease date. It must work by the release date. We would report the same bugs over and over again and the software would come back with the same bugs over and over again. Then they would release it.


Don't be a cunt.
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I find it extraordinary just how many times my PC needs to install updates, and generally when I'm in a hurry to to use the thing. I hate Windows with a passion, but unfortunately there are still some things I have no choice but to use it for. It has just taken around 15 minutes to process over 31,000 update operations, which involved it restarting three times. I only used it last week for fucks sake! What the hell could have happened it that time that could necessitate such massive update activity?

 

Have you visited any, ahem, dodgy websites lately dapps? Or opened any email attachments that might not have been entirely kosher? I'm pretty sure windows doesn't bombard you with quite that many updates at a time, (not that they aren't anything other than utter cunts.) Could be a virus or hacking attempt.

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Guest nobgobbler

Have you visited any, ahem, dodgy websites lately dapps? Or opened any email attachments that might not have been entirely kosher? I'm pretty sure windows doesn't bombard you with quite that many updates at a time, (not that they aren't anything other than utter cunts.) Could be a virus or hacking attempt.

That's what I was thinking. Mr gobler just answered the phone to some foreign cunt claiming that our computer has a virus, which one? - your computer - which one? - your computer - which one? - your computer - but which computer? erm your computer - fuck off you thieving fucking cunt. . . . Made my day.

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I had this recently. Some stupid Asian cunt introducing herself as working for "Vindows". I was hoping it might at least be an interesting scam.. Oh no!!! Are you sure? Thank you so much for calling.. It's not interesting at all, the cunts try and get you to load some remote access software and take control of your PC. I asked what colour panties she was wearing but she hung up on me.

Knickers to you
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Have you visited any, ahem, dodgy websites lately dapps? Or opened any email attachments that might not have been entirely kosher? I'm pretty sure windows doesn't bombard you with quite that many updates at a time, (not that they aren't anything other than utter cunts.) Could be a virus or hacking attempt.


If I were ever to visit such, ahem, websites Scotters, I expect I'd use my iPad after having temporarily grantied permission to the BT parental control filter. I expect I'd also do it on a Friday as I finish work early. Yes, I expect this is what I'd do if I were ever to visit such websites...........
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  • 3 years later...
Guest DrCunt

I've just had to endure this fucking agony. In addition to the monstrous Windows 10 update taking fucking forever, it fucked up several of the manufacturer's drivers, including sound and graphics, necessitating a visit to their website, more downloads, more installing and even more restarts.

I fucking detest Microsoft and I wish micro-soft cocks on all their employees. Even the females. Wankers.

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Guest Lady Penelope
1 hour ago, DrCunt said:

I've just had to endure this fucking agony. In addition to the monstrous Windows 10 update taking fucking forever, it fucked up several of the manufacturer's drivers, including sound and graphics, necessitating a visit to their website, more downloads, more installing and even more restarts.

I fucking detest Microsoft and I wish micro-soft cocks on all their employees. Even the females. Wankers.

I use Linucks because Windows is crap .. hasn't microcrap just bought out an open source operating system?

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Guest Wizardsleeve

Windows always has been and always will be a extraordinary fucking cunt.  IMO, it reached its peak with XP.  I can live with W7, but will always reminisce on XP pro.  

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13 hours ago, Penelope said:

I use Linucks because Windows is crap .. hasn't microcrap just bought out an open source operating system?

They've recently bought GitHub, an Open Source repository for developers and users alike.  I think this is a question of wait and see, though MS do say their future is in cloud services as evidenced by giving Amazon, Apple and Google a run for their money with MS's cloud platform Azure where interestingly, the Linux distro Umbunto is fully supported by them.

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