Jump to content
CUNTS CORNER TWITTER ACCOUNT ID @CuntsCorner ×
Donations towards site upkeep will be thankfully received and faithfully applied....

The Heatwave


Guest MikeD

Recommended Posts

Guest MikeD

All over the news.

I thought, holy fuck, we're going to get double figure temperatures in Scotland!

Doubtless we'll get the usual parade of cunts with degrees in stating the fucking obvious telling us how to avoid dropping dead with sunstroke.

I wonder what the chances are that it won't be as hot as they say it will.......

Bastards, fuck off.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest MikeD

Lovely and sunny here, fucking hot too, I'm frying eggs on me car bonnet...!!

Frying eggs on me car bonnet.

Is that code for something pervy?

Just asking like.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just because we are due a couple of days of warm weather its doesn't make it a heatwave, the last heatwave we had in this country was 1976.

Like bollocks it was!

It was yesterday afternoon between 1.15 and 1.20. Cracked the flagstones round my gaff. Then it pissed down for 8 hours.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Gong Farmer

A hint of sun and all the fat beer bellied tattooed cunts crawl out of the woodwork wearing their 'Gawd blimey' shorts and shitted up worn out Tesco flip flops.... and that's just the female of the sub-species.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest JackoTC

Idiot. 

You would not believe it Francis, but last year some friends could give a high enough recommendation for us to try a holiday in Sousse. They especially said to take the bus to Monastir. I can just imagine to horror on the beach if we had gone this year ! The relief was palpable in Chez Jacko, after yesterday's grisly headlines. If we had taken their advice after 14 months, and if we could have got last week off on holiday, and had been on that particular stretch of beach for that specific 20 minutes, there's no telling what might have happened .But we didn't. And I was spared the fucking bus trip from hell, being pestered by the fuzzies to buy dates and oranges. Its a charmed life.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You would not believe it Francis, but last year some friends could give a high enough recommendation for us to try a holiday in Sousse. They especially said to take the bus to Monastir. I can just imagine to horror on the beach if we had gone this year ! The relief was palpable in Chez Jacko, after yesterday's grisly headlines. If we had taken their advice after 14 months, and if we could have got last week off on holiday, and had been on that particular stretch of beach for that specific 20 minutes, there's no telling what might have happened .But we didn't. And I was spared the fucking bus trip from hell, being pestered by the fuzzies to buy dates and oranges. Its a charmed life.  

A remarkable escape once again Jackie. A hair's breadth from absolute certain death. Just 14 months... the blink of an eye! This may seem hard to believe... far-fetched even, but if it wasn't for Ming missing her hairdressers appointment in Singapore on Friday afternoon, we would have both been sunbathing on that beach… without question! The fact that we would never ever consider booking a package holiday, detest brits abroad, were fast asleep on the other side of the world.. and didn't have tickets to travel, is irrelevant . Fate….

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest JackoTC

A remarkable escape once again Jackie... a hair's breadth from absolute certain death. This may seem hard to believe... far-fetched even, but if it wasn't for Ming missing her hairdressers appointment in Singapore on Friday afternoon, we would have both been sunbathing on that beach… without question! The fact that we would never ever consider booking a package holiday, detest brits abroad, were fast asleep on the other side of the world.. and didn't have tickets to travel, is irrelevant . Fate….

Wah Lau Eh ? Thank fuck for the piss poor timekeeping of the Singaporeans. We could  all have been sipping Cosmopolitans at the beach bar. You in your expensive, exclusive beach wear, and me in...........well some nice swimmers from Matalan or The Original Factory Shop. Imagine the carnage if the gunman had started blazing away. The entire thought makes me shudder.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wah Lau Eh ? Thank fuck for the piss poor timekeeping of the Singaporeans. We could  all have been sipping Cosmopolitans at the beach bar. You in your expensive, exclusive beach wear, and me in...........well some nice swimmers from Matalan or The Original Factory Shop. Imagine the carnage if the gunman had started blazing away. The entire thought makes me shudder.  

Like I said Jackie.. live each day as if it's your last. 

If I had been there, in my cream Orlebar Brown swimwear, I would have most definitely seen the Minkey coming and saved at least a few lives. You see.. I'm half amphibian. When I'm on the beach I snorkel just off shore more or less for the entire day. I would have tippy-toed up behind him, shoved my snorkel up his bumhole, then finger him in the eyeballs... like they do to sharks. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest JackoTC

Like I said Jackie.. live each day as if it's your last. 

If I had been there, in my cream Orlebar Brown swimwear, I would have most definitely seen the Minkey coming and saved at least a few lives. You see.. I'm half amphibian. When I'm on the beach I snorkel just off shore more or less for the entire day. I would have tippy-toed up behind him, shoved my snorkel up his bumhole, then finger him in the eyeballs... like they do to sharks. 

Like a cross between Jacque Cousteau and John McClane. Awesome.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

And maybe Bo Derek.

It's such a shame Bawsey has fallen by the wayside... reduced himself to the likes of a two-faced flid. He would have seen this shit coming from a mile off. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest JackoTC

It's such a shame Bawsey has fallen by the wayside... reduced himself to the likes of a two-faced flid. He would have seen this shit coming from a mile off. 

Apparently he's doing the legal legwork for aggrieved Eastern Europeans in Glasgow.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Bill Stickers

Cheers Bill. I must have missed that. Although ever since posting, he's made no secret of using a proxy. It's a fucking shame. I must admit, I feared the worst. He must be in his late forties by now, which is quite a good innings for a Scotsman.

He's 40, Scottish, and alive!?!

I can only imagine the condition he's in. He probably makes Stephen Hawking look like an olympic sprinter!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's such a shame Bawsey has fallen by the wayside... reduced himself to the likes of a two-faced flid. He would have seen this shit coming from a mile off. 

He hasn't been banned. I merged the two ID's. If he has fallen by the wayside it is an extra curricular activity. Now you say that, I best check this pile of shit software in case it has fucked him over.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...