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Cyclists With No Lights On Their Cuntcycle


Ape™️

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Guest Wizardsleeve

Just to clarify manky, ape here probably means that as a compliment. :D

Indeed. It would have been more effective as an insult had Ape used 10 carat electro-plated pyrite. 

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I did 16 mph once. It was downhill with a tailwind. I too think Lycra is for puffs and won't flaunt my body in case it excites the ladies.

I should think it excites some men as well. Judge,your thoughts?

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I'm quite the fence sitter generally in this bike / car debate. Cyclists don't pay road tax and don't help themselves and car drivers get into their little tin boxes and go 'look out World! I'm an iron-clad mutha with a giant ego and a cock the size of Jupiter, come to lay waste to your entire fucking bloodlines!

However, I was in Oxford last night and my God the cyclists there have an attitude like they were sole heirs (pluralising the unplurable, yes, I know, don't get picky with me you cunts!) to the Sun King dynasty.

Clad in black (naturally - cunts try to exude an air of intense danger-mixed-with-existential-angst), barrelling down the Cowley Road like Bradley Wiggins on angel dust. "Lights? Oh how '21st century'. We just do it by how we 'feel' and possibly smell daddy-oh".

I execute a perfect 'mirror-signal-manoeuvre' routine and one of these 'Grade one honours Politics Philosophy and Economics with titty goatee beard' pricks nearly goes over my bonnet - and then gives me a mouthful that makes Shaun Ryder look like Malcolm Muggeridge.

 

 

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Guest Bill Stickers

I'm quite the fence sitter generally in this bike / car debate. Cyclists don't pay road tax and don't help themselves and car drivers get into their little tin boxes and go 'look out World! I'm an iron-clad mutha with a giant ego and a cock the size of Jupiter, come to lay waste to your entire fucking bloodlines!

However, I was in Oxford last night and my God the cyclists there have an attitude like they were sole heirs (pluralising the unplurable, yes, I know, don't get picky with me you cunts!) to the Sun King dynasty.

Clad in black (naturally - cunts try to exude an air of intense danger-mixed-with-existential-angst), barrelling down the Cowley Road like Bradley Wiggins on angel dust. "Lights? Oh how '21st century'. We just do it by how we 'feel' and possibly smell daddy-oh".

I execute a perfect 'mirror-signal-manoeuvre' routine and one of these 'Grade one honours Politics Philosophy and Economics with titty goatee beard' pricks nearly goes over my bonnet - and then gives me a mouthful that makes Shaun Ryder look like Malcolm Muggeridge.

As a native Oxfordian I can confirm this is absolutely correct. 

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Guest Bill Stickers

Now if only we had some cunts on here from other flat places like Norfolk or The Netherlands we could get some comparative analysis going.

To try and distance myself from disgraceful fucking places like those, I'd like to draw your attention to the proximity of the Chiltern Hills.

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