cuntspotter Posted November 16, 2015 Report Share Posted November 16, 2015 Jesus H Christmas, I had a veg heavy lunch today and have, four hours or so later, almost exploded into life. A good fart is quite satisfying usually, but I have had to deflate radically every ten minutes or so for the last seventy five minutes. it's quite exhausting controlling the trumpet voluntary ...... I'm only just hanging on ...... I must not shit myself ..... Here comes another one . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted November 16, 2015 Report Share Posted November 16, 2015 Do it, let it go, you know you need to! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted November 16, 2015 Report Share Posted November 16, 2015 Sweaty arsed cunt. Neither the Queen, the Pope or myself fart. Disgusting habit. Control your diet. I heard that puffs can't fart as having the back doors kicked in means the sphincter is fucked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted November 16, 2015 Report Share Posted November 16, 2015 Go on Spotto,let it out. If you follow through you don't have to tell us. It would be nice of you did though so we can all have a laugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted November 16, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 16, 2015 Bastards! I've left teeth marks on the toilet door........... I'm still farting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted November 16, 2015 Report Share Posted November 16, 2015 I did one of those farts that release as you walk today, and to my delight managed twenty paces with a little fartlet on each stride. Happy days! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted November 16, 2015 Report Share Posted November 16, 2015 42 minutes ago, Manky said: I heard that puffs can't fart as having the back doors kicked in means the sphincter is fucked. This true, the methane build up is released via the mouth in the form of screaming for more rights. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted November 16, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 16, 2015 Just now, deebom said: This true, the methane build up is released via the mouth in the form of screaming for more rights. You fucking bitch! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted November 16, 2015 Report Share Posted November 16, 2015 Well if it starts to turn liquid I suggest you take 4 tablespoons of Bisto granules. It won't settle your guts but it will thicken it up a bit. Bon chance Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted November 16, 2015 Report Share Posted November 16, 2015 1 hour ago, Manky said: Sweaty arsed cunt. Neither the Queen, the Pope or myself fart. Disgusting habit. Control your diet. I heard that puffs can't fart as having the back doors kicked in means the sphincter is fucked. You mention a queen, a pervert and yourself in one line... Me, myself and I...?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted November 16, 2015 Report Share Posted November 16, 2015 Not a queen. The queen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted November 17, 2015 Report Share Posted November 17, 2015 Somebody open the window, it stinks in here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted November 17, 2015 Report Share Posted November 17, 2015 Somebody strike a fucking match, and end all the problems! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted November 17, 2015 Report Share Posted November 17, 2015 Hows the bowels today Spotto,any child like accidents in the night? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted November 17, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 17, 2015 It sorted itself...... Overnight. Just subsided. Thank god. No big shite to follow, bit of a disappointment really. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted November 17, 2015 Report Share Posted November 17, 2015 23 minutes ago, cuntspotter said: It sorted itself...... Overnight. Just subsided. Thank god. No big shite to follow, bit of a disappointment really. You really must try harder next time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted November 17, 2015 Report Share Posted November 17, 2015 This nom is a gas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted November 17, 2015 Report Share Posted November 17, 2015 5 hours ago, cuntspotter said: It sorted itself...... Overnight. Just subsided. Thank god. No big shite to follow, bit of a disappointment really. We can all breathe easy and relax now. Phew! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted November 17, 2015 Report Share Posted November 17, 2015 5 hours ago, Lady Penelope said: This nom is a gas. Yes and it rather complements all the shit written on this site don't you think ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted November 17, 2015 Report Share Posted November 17, 2015 19 minutes ago, witheredscrote said: Yes and it rather complements all the shit written on this site don't you think ? 149 posts of which were contributed by you - an unprecedented 100% record of churning out barely comprehensible bile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted November 17, 2015 Report Share Posted November 17, 2015 On 17/11/2015 at 3:29 PM, Bill Stickers said: 149 posts of which were contributed by you - an unprecedented 100% record of churning out barely comprehensible bile. Glass houses....!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted November 17, 2015 Report Share Posted November 17, 2015 6 minutes ago, DingTheReaper! said: Glass houses....!!! My output consistently ranks up there with The Bard of Avon you fucking spunk trumpet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted November 17, 2015 Report Share Posted November 17, 2015 Well I am overcome with emulsion. Thank you Ball_Suckers , I have never achieved a score of 100 % in my life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted November 17, 2015 Report Share Posted November 17, 2015 21 hours ago, Alfie Noakes said: Do it, let it go, you know you need to! Well Noakesy this Spotto is a bit of a lightweight , farts indeed. I on the other hand openly admitted on this forum that I soiled in a grand manner. That is called class. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gurt Posted November 17, 2015 Report Share Posted November 17, 2015 I mustard-sharted in waitrose. Is that classy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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