Earl of Punkape Posted March 14, 2016 Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 You know the type. A short-arsed, fat,working class, balding oik who has been to Thailand or the Philippines and pays to "marry" a whore half his age .He informs everyone that he has sex 10 times a day despite having a member like a hamsters. He then treats her as a skivy before eventually realising she doesn't speak English and she runs off with his mate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted March 14, 2016 Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 2 minutes ago, Punkape said: You know the type. A short-arsed, fat,working class, balding oik who has been to Thailand or the Philippines and pays to "marry" a whore half his age .He informs everyone that he has sex 10 times a day despite having a member like a hamsters. He then treats her as a skivy before eventually realising she doesn't speak English and she runs off with his mate. I take it that you have experience of meeting this sort of unsavoury character Pinkape........Been hanging around the out of town Tesco store again have we. Personally I have never met anyone who has done this but I bow to your extensive experience Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted March 14, 2016 Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 Just now, luke swarm said: I take it that you have experience of meeting this sort of unsavoury character Pinkape........Been hanging around the out of town Tesco store again have we. Personally I have never met anyone who has done this but I bow to your extensive experience It had to be a ladyboy, surely? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted March 14, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 1 minute ago, luke swarm said: I take it that you have experience of meeting this sort of unsavoury character Pinkape........Been hanging around the out of town Tesco store again have we. Personally I have never met anyone who has done this but I bow to your extensive experience You're more likely to import a transexual bride then it's out with the Gerbils......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted March 14, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 3 minutes ago, Alfie Noakes said: It had to be a ladyboy, surely? You're probably still a virgin and want to remain so. lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted March 14, 2016 Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 Just now, Punkape said: You're more likely to import a transexual bride then it's out with the Gerbils......... Its your Nom Pinky so I assume you based this on personal experience........has you Ladyboy run off with one of your pretend golfing chums.....fear not......you can always import another one...chin up son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted March 14, 2016 Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 Just now, Punkape said: You're probably still a virgin and want to remain so. lol. You are quite right...I never break my anal receivership virginity.......did your first penetration experience hurt Pinky.....come on share your experience. it might help other novice Gays and The Judge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted March 14, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 2 minutes ago, luke swarm said: Its your Nom Pinky so I assume you based this on personal experience........has you Ladyboy run off with one of your pretend golfing chums.....fear not......you can always import another one...chin up son. You'll be having a party with hamsters and gerbils. Rodent heaven at Swarmys horrible abode... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted March 14, 2016 Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 8 minutes ago, Alfie Noakes said: It had to be a ladyboy, surely? Joking aside Punkape would not really an imported Ladyboy.....it will have to be a indigenous "Shim" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted March 14, 2016 Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 Just now, Punkape said: You'll be having a party with hamsters and gerbils. Rodent heaven at Swarmys horrible abode... Yes they are quite a tasty party snack...a bit too bony for my tastes but not bad in a curry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted March 14, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 1 minute ago, luke swarm said: Yes they are quite a tasty party snack...a bit too bony for my tastes but not bad in a curry. How do you prepare them after internal recreation? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted March 14, 2016 Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 Just now, Punkape said: How do you prepare them after internal recreation? I get my wife to tandoori marinade them first ......oh I am terribly sorry Pinky, I should have not mentioned my wife as it will now make you feel sad and empty inside at a life wasted. My sincere apologies.....in fact Dinner is nearly ready.....catch up with you in a couple of hours and enjoy your super noodles and economy sausages. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted March 14, 2016 Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 9 minutes ago, luke swarm said: I get my wife to tandoori marinade them first ......oh I am terribly sorry Pinky, I should have not mentioned my wife as it will now make you feel sad and empty inside at a life wasted. My sincere apologies.....in fact Dinner is nearly ready.....catch up with you in a couple of hours and enjoy your super noodles and economy sausages. Fuck me, super noodles. When I was a student my favourite meal was a double helping of rib rustlers, topped with super noodles with a couple of boxes of McCain micro chips on the side. Happy days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted March 14, 2016 Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 49 minutes ago, Punkape said: You know the type. A short-arsed, fat,working class, balding oik who has been to Thailand or the Philippines and pays to "marry" a whore half his age .He informs everyone that he has sex 10 times a day despite having a member like a hamsters. He then treats her as a skivy before eventually realising she doesn't speak English and she runs off with his mate. Always has to mention hamsters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted March 14, 2016 Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 39 minutes ago, Punkape said: You're probably still a virgin and want to remain so. lol. Wish that was so, my teenage son costs me a fortune. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick_B Posted March 14, 2016 Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 1 hour ago, Punkape said: You know the type. A short-arsed, fat,working class, balding oik who has been to Thailand or the Philippines and pays to "marry" a whore half his age .He informs everyone that he has sex 10 times a day despite having a member like a hamsters. He then treats her as a skivy before eventually realising she doesn't speak English and she runs off with his mate. The moral of the story, make sure none of your mates speak Thai before introducing them to your wife. If he understands สามีของฉันมีอวัยวะเพศขนาดเล็ก you're in trouble. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DrCunt Posted March 14, 2016 Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 Only a total cunt would import from these asian shitholes. Ukrainian and Russians are currently the most desperate for a way into the country, and they're much prettier. They'll still fuck all your mates and take half your money though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted March 14, 2016 Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 On our wedding night, me and my new Thai bride were getting into the foreplay. I started sucking her off and suddenly thought "hang on a fucking minute..." 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted March 14, 2016 Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 10 minutes ago, Rick_B said: สามีของฉันมีอวัยวะเพศขนาดเล็ก I'm not sure I like your tone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted March 14, 2016 Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 15 minutes ago, Rick_B said: สามีของฉันมีอวัยวะเพศขนาดเล็ก Ha ha ha.....nice one Rick....so that's how you spell cufflinks in Thailand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 14, 2016 Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 2 hours ago, Alfie Noakes said: It had to be a ladyboy, surely? ....chicks with dicks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted March 14, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 2 minutes ago, Spatchcock said: ....chicks with dicks! Another Gettysburg address from Spatchcock.......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted March 14, 2016 Report Share Posted March 14, 2016 2 hours ago, Punkape said: You know the type. A short-arsed, fat,working class, balding oik who has been to Thailand or the Philippines and pays to "marry" a whore half his age .He informs everyone that he has sex 10 times a day despite having a member like a hamsters. He then treats her as a skivy before eventually realising she doesn't speak English and she runs off with his mate. Fuck me, is that you Paul? Paul is my colleague. He's around 5 foot tall, late 50s, scruffy balding bloke. He has a 26 year old Filipino wife who he married when she was 18. Has two kids with her. Now obviously she hasn't married him for his good looks and winning personalty. (He's a lazy miserable, skiving twat, with a drink problem.) She has been trying to get over here for several years, but he's been doing all the paperwork and fucking it up deliberately so the application gets rejected. He likes his life in the Philippines, and doesn't want her over here. She's obviously wised up to this, because the last application she filled out, has been accepted or whatever it is they say, so she's on her way. He started showing me pictures of a caravan in some sort of holiday park in County fucking Durham that he's going to move this family of his in to. So I said "You're going to live there?" with more than a hint of incredulity. "Ah yeah." he replies. "Is it not a little small for a family of 4? I counter, "Plus they are fucking freezing in the winter, and you cant live in them all year round." I add. He then proceeds to witter on about how it's got a cooker and washing machine, shower, TV ect. I say I know this, I've stayed in one, they are ok for a week or two in the summer. But to live in one as a family, permanently? So I tell him he's out of his fucking mind and say no more on the subject. She arrived last Monday... But no caravan for the young lady and her children. She's at the airport and he's ringing the fucking council to try and get emergency housing. They are currently in a bedsit full of Kings Cross finest, while he fucks around on the phone to the council all day at work, trying to get them housed... Utterly useless cunt, I feel sorry for the poor little cow. Talk about disappointment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted March 15, 2016 Report Share Posted March 15, 2016 16 hours ago, Punkape said: You know the type. A short-arsed, fat,working class, balding oik who has been to Thailand or the Philippines and pays to "marry" a whore half his age .He informs everyone that he has sex 10 times a day despite having a member like a hamsters. He then treats her as a skivy before eventually realising she doesn't speak English and she runs off with his mate. I make that 2-0 on the Punkape own goal tally. Nominate cigar smoking estate agents and you've got yourself a hatrick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted March 15, 2016 Report Share Posted March 15, 2016 16 hours ago, Decimus said: Fuck me, super noodles. When I was a student my favourite meal was a double helping of rib rustlers, topped with super noodles with a couple of boxes of McCain micro chips on the side. Happy days. By the level of intelligence that your posts suggest, I suspect your time at university was spent in a specimen jar in the dibdob lab. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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