camberwell gypsy Posted August 5, 2017 Report Share Posted August 5, 2017 On 04/08/2017 at 11:11 PM, Stubby Pecker said: Well done bill, now pm me a photo of a particularly lopsided shit What, Tony Blair? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 7, 2017 Report Share Posted August 7, 2017 On 05/08/2017 at 8:44 PM, Stubby Pecker said: The safas goose is cooked. Even if we only get 250 2nd dig, that'll be more than enough. Definitely right there, 177 run win was very good, beating SA at home was always the one thing that would never happen and now it's done, so since 1999 England have won a series against every test nation home and away at least once. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted August 8, 2017 Author Report Share Posted August 8, 2017 On 8/2/2017 at 11:26 AM, applescruff14 said: Just hope we can avoid defeat in the last test and I have my long awaited SA home victory although a tie does technically win the series. Done and dusted, fucking good thumping they took...SA shitcunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted August 8, 2017 Author Report Share Posted August 8, 2017 On 8/2/2017 at 11:36 AM, Bill Stickers said: Apple you stupid boring cunt. I've been roped into the T20 smash at the oval on a Friday. Bunch of cunts from Glamorgan playing a bunch of cunts from Surrey I believe. Is there anyone in particular worthy of absolute dogs abuse? I plan to be pants-shittingly pissed by about 6pm just so I can tolerate it all. Fuck off Bill, you fucking wet fanny. You would be better off playing tiddlywanks with the destitutes at your local butt slamming bar. Go and do one you isolated turd farmer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 8, 2017 Report Share Posted August 8, 2017 6 hours ago, Fender777 said: Done and dusted, fucking good thumping they took...SA shitcunts. Hope that we can win the series against the West Indies as it will give us huge morale for when we head Down Under. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted August 9, 2017 Report Share Posted August 9, 2017 On 8 August 2017 at 7:32 AM, applescruff14 said: Hope that we can win the series against the West Indies as it will give us huge morale for when we head Down Under. We're a couple of good players away from being a topside. Jennings has to go, stoneman will replace him possibly moving to 3 if haseeb get in the the future. Westley looks a good player but needs more time. Not convinced by malan, maybe hales for the middle order? Stokes looks good enough to bat higher with his patience and technique be they'll be loathed to move him, likewise moeen who should be in the top 6 especially when woakes comes back or they've got the balls to play rashid. We just need to bat boringly at the top and knacker the Aussie quicks out- if we're 250 for 4 after day 1 we'll always get a big score thanks to our lower order. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted August 11, 2017 Author Report Share Posted August 11, 2017 On 8/9/2017 at 0:28 PM, Stubby Pecker said: We're a couple of good players away from being a topside. Jennings has to go, stoneman will replace him possibly moving to 3 if haseeb get in the the future. Westley looks a good player but needs more time. Not convinced by malan, maybe hales for the middle order? Stokes looks good enough to bat higher with his patience and technique be they'll be loathed to move him, likewise moeen who should be in the top 6 especially when woakes comes back or they've got the balls to play rashid. We just need to bat boringly at the top and knacker the Aussie quicks out- if we're 250 for 4 after day 1 we'll always get a big score thanks to our lower order. Jennings is a useless cunt, don't know why he is in the side. the cuntbrain only averages 35 in first class cricket in 89 games (piss poor for an opener) time to ditch the pile of shit. I would bring hales back at five and i hope Root stays at four, can't think of any test quality openers to partner Cook which is a bit worrying. The middle order is sound enough and the bowing attack is top drawer. Roland Jones looks like a test player to add to the already quality bowing with Anderson, Broad, Stokes, Woakes and Ali. Give Westley and Malan a couple more games to see if they're up to it but going by their first class averages...i don't reckon they will be. My 12 would be Cook, Westley, malan, Root, Hales, Stokes, Bairstow, Ali, Woakes, Roland Jones, Broad, Anderson. and possibly Jos Butler in the mix along with Rashid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted August 11, 2017 Author Report Share Posted August 11, 2017 On 8/8/2017 at 7:32 AM, applescruff14 said: Hope that we can win the series against the West Indies as it will give us huge morale for when we head Down Under. West Indies won't be no challenge if we are on our game. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted August 11, 2017 Report Share Posted August 11, 2017 5 hours ago, Fender777 said: Jennings is a useless cunt, don't know why he is in the side. the cuntbrain only averages 35 in first class cricket in 89 games (piss poor for an opener) time to ditch the pile of shit. I would bring hales back at five and i hope Root stays at four, can't think of any test quality openers to partner Cook which is a bit worrying. The middle order is sound enough and the bowing attack is top drawer. Roland Jones looks like a test player to add to the already quality bowing with Anderson, Broad, Stokes, Woakes and Ali. Give Westley and Malan a couple more games to see if they're up to it but going by their first class averages...i don't reckon they will be. My 12 would be Cook, Westley, malan, Root, Hales, Stokes, Bairstow, Ali, Woakes, Roland Jones, Broad, Anderson. and possibly Jos Butler in the mix along with Rashid. Considering Jennings played most of his inns at Durham on the most bowler friendly pitch out there, his average isn't bad! Likewise stoneman (moved to Surrey from Durham) who must surely get a go for easy runs against the West Indies thus providing no prep for the ashes. Steve smith and David Warner are both utter cunts and I hope they get themselves out to shit balls when looking in great nick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted August 11, 2017 Report Share Posted August 11, 2017 On 08/08/2017 at 7:32 AM, applescruff14 said: Hope that we can win the series against the West Indies as it will give us huge morale for when we head Down Under. You are like a breath of fresh hair in here Apple Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted August 13, 2017 Author Report Share Posted August 13, 2017 On 8/11/2017 at 6:59 AM, Stubby Pecker said: Considering Jennings played most of his inns at Durham on the most bowler friendly pitch out there, his average isn't bad! Likewise stoneman (moved to Surrey from Durham) who must surely get a go for easy runs against the West Indies thus providing no prep for the ashes. Steve smith and David Warner are both utter cunts and I hope they get themselves out to shit balls when looking in great nick. Can't agree with you on the Jennings debate Pecker, any top quality test batsman will average over 40 even on bowler friendly pitches and besides he has played on good batting wickets and still done next to fuck all, time for him to fuck off and learn his trade better, then maybe come back into the fold. Nothing against Steve Smith...well apart from him being a kangaroo shagger , he is a top quality player at the top of his game. Need to get at that cuntbrain as soon as he steps to the wicket, but Warner is an outright top class cuntbreed who needs to have his smug bonce caved in with a victorian iron then have his kneecaps smashed with my new prototype flaying claw hammer, followed up with a jolly good whack to his cunthead with my medieval maul. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted August 13, 2017 Report Share Posted August 13, 2017 18 hours ago, Fender777 said: Can't agree with you on the Jennings debate Pecker, any top quality test batsman will average over 40 even on bowler friendly pitches and besides he has played on good batting wickets and still done next to fuck all, time for him to fuck off and learn his trade better, then maybe come back into the fold. Nothing against Steve Smith...well apart from him being a kangaroo shagger , he is a top quality player at the top of his game. Need to get at that cuntbrain as soon as he steps to the wicket, but Warner is an outright top class cuntbreed who needs to have his smug bonce caved in with a victorian iron then have his kneecaps smashed with my new prototype flaying claw hammer, followed up with a jolly good whack to his cunthead with my medieval maul. We'll take 3 openers to oz so cook and 2 from Jennings, Stoneman and haseeb. If stoney gets runs against windies (.good luck with the pink ball and a wet wicket) it'll be a shoot between the other 2 as to who makes more runs for their county starting now. Looks like they might play woakes instead of malan, not that we need an extra bowler for their shite batting line up but I bet he gets more runs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted August 14, 2017 Author Report Share Posted August 14, 2017 23 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said: We'll take 3 openers to oz so cook and 2 from Jennings, Stoneman and haseeb. If stoney gets runs against windies (.good luck with the pink ball and a wet wicket) it'll be a shoot between the other 2 as to who makes more runs for their county starting now. Looks like they might play woakes instead of malan, not that we need an extra bowler for their shite batting line up but I bet he gets more runs. The Windies shouldn't be a problem, just a few warm up games for the Aussie's. I hope Haseeb gets the nod as he looks like he could be test quality, only 20 and already has something about him and will only learn and get better the more he is in the side. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted August 14, 2017 Report Share Posted August 14, 2017 58 minutes ago, Fender777 said: The Windies shouldn't be a problem, just a few warm up games for the Aussie's. I hope Haseeb gets the nod as he looks like he could be test quality, only 20 and already has something about him and will only learn and get better the more he is in the side. I agree. If he'd have got any runs early season he'd have played against the safas, but he bust his hand (I think) against early on. He played some good knocks in India and he's a gutsy little cunt to do it with a broken finger. We need guys with some metal who can bat a whole session a piss those convict wankers right off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted August 17, 2017 Author Report Share Posted August 17, 2017 On 8/14/2017 at 8:47 PM, Stubby Pecker said: I agree. If he'd have got any runs early season he'd have played against the safas, but he bust his hand (I think) against early on. He played some good knocks in India and he's a gutsy little cunt to do it with a broken finger. We need guys with some metal who can bat a whole session a piss those convict wankers right off. Early days but it looks like England will run through the Windies with little trouble, can't think of any top class players they have at the moment, Roston Chase is probably their best player but still shouldn't be any problems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted August 17, 2017 Report Share Posted August 17, 2017 25 minutes ago, Fender777 said: Early days but it looks like England will run through the Windies with little trouble, can't think of any top class players they have at the moment, Roston Chase is probably their best player but still shouldn't be any problems. We should crush them within 4 days, shame thinking of the great sides they had of yesteryear. What worries me if in these 3 tests neither stoneman, westley or malan score any runs? Time to move moeen and Bairstow into the top 6 and they'll just have to rein in the shots until they're properly in. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 19, 2017 Report Share Posted August 19, 2017 On 09/08/2017 at 0:28 PM, Stubby Pecker said: We're a couple of good players away from being a topside. Jennings has to go, stoneman will replace him possibly moving to 3 if haseeb get in the the future. Westley looks a good player but needs more time. Not convinced by malan, maybe hales for the middle order? Stokes looks good enough to bat higher with his patience and technique be they'll be loathed to move him, likewise moeen who should be in the top 6 especially when woakes comes back or they've got the balls to play rashid. We just need to bat boringly at the top and knacker the Aussie quicks out- if we're 250 for 4 after day 1 we'll always get a big score thanks to our lower order. The wickets did crumble yesterday, I think 5-0 to Australia, just can't see it any other way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 19, 2017 Report Share Posted August 19, 2017 On 18/08/2017 at 0:17 AM, Stubby Pecker said: We should crush them within 4 days, shame thinking of the great sides they had of yesteryear. What worries me if in these 3 tests neither stoneman, westley or malan score any runs? Time to move moeen and Bairstow into the top 6 and they'll just have to rein in the shots until they're properly in. Good 65 from Malan but still having trouble with this Westley but Stoneman is early days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 19, 2017 Report Share Posted August 19, 2017 On 18/08/2017 at 0:17 AM, Stubby Pecker said: We should crush them within 4 days, shame thinking of the great sides they had of yesteryear. What worries me if in these 3 tests neither stoneman, westley or malan score any runs? Time to move moeen and Bairstow into the top 6 and they'll just have to rein in the shots until they're properly in. I think West Indies will score over 400 in this innings, looking like a draw. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted August 19, 2017 Report Share Posted August 19, 2017 2 minutes ago, applescruff14 said: Good 65 from Malan but still having trouble with this Westley but Stoneman is early days. I didn't know that Matalan played cricket. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 19, 2017 Report Share Posted August 19, 2017 7 hours ago, The Lady Penelope said: I didn't know that Matalan played cricket. Based in Lancashire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 19, 2017 Report Share Posted August 19, 2017 On 14/08/2017 at 8:47 PM, Stubby Pecker said: I agree. If he'd have got any runs early season he'd have played against the safas, but he bust his hand (I think) against early on. He played some good knocks in India and he's a gutsy little cunt to do it with a broken finger. We need guys with some metal who can bat a whole session a piss those convict wankers right off. I just think Australia will be too strong no matter what team we play, I'm sticking with 5-0. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 19, 2017 Report Share Posted August 19, 2017 On 14/08/2017 at 7:49 PM, Fender777 said: The Windies shouldn't be a problem, just a few warm up games for the Aussie's. I hope Haseeb gets the nod as he looks like he could be test quality, only 20 and already has something about him and will only learn and get better the more he is in the side. I'm never in favour of enforcing the follow on: 1894: Aus: 586 & 166 Eng: 325 & 437 England won by 10 runs 1981: Aus: 401/9d & 111 Eng: 174 & 356 England won by 18 runs 2001: Aus: 445 & 212 Ind: 171 & 657/7d India won by 171 runs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted August 19, 2017 Report Share Posted August 19, 2017 2 hours ago, applescruff14 said: I just think Australia will be too strong no matter what team we play, I'm sticking with 5-0. Have you ever had a sense of hope? Cheer up man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 19, 2017 Report Share Posted August 19, 2017 2 hours ago, Alfie Noakes said: Have you ever had a sense of hope? Cheer up man. Stuart Broad now 2nd leading England wicket taker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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