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On 24/01/2017 at 11:45 PM, ratcum said:

When our budgie 'Minty' died, we buried him in a cigar box.

Did your mum smoke the cigars, because your daddy was a limp wristed cunt.....just like you....his daughter

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2 minutes ago, Monumental cunt said:

Not a fucking male hormone amongst them.   I wouldn't blame the female race if they stopped being fucked by this lot and simply splattered spunk on their shoes and let flies inseminate them....much more attractive.    I fear for the western world when the nutters grow up playing with AKs and our lot grow up playing with hair product and cindy dolls.   Fags the lot of em.

Gone are the days when male ablutions consisted of a shit, shower and a shave, a splash of Brut 33 and brush your teeth. These cunts have hair products, 5 bottles of pre shave, moisturiser and non sting after lotion for fucks sake, their bathrooms must look like fucking laboratories. Levi's and Doc Martens replaced by denim tights and little sky blue canvas pumps ( no socks ). Fucking pansies the lot of them. If we get invaded, we're fucked.

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11 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Gone are the days when male ablutions consisted of a shit, shower and a shave, a splash of Brut 33 and brush your teeth. These cunts have hair products, 5 bottles of pre shave, moisturiser and non sting after lotion for fucks sake, their bathrooms must look like fucking laboratories. Levi's and Doc Martens replaced by denim tights and little sky blue canvas pumps ( no socks ). Fucking pansies the lot of them. If we get invaded, we're fucked.

Excellent summary of what's wrong with today's bloke Authoritah. I used to spray Brut 33 in my eyes before going to our local chinkie. Thinking I was one of their triad homies; cunts used to give me a discount.   

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21 hours ago, Neil said:

Worked with one of these pricks this week,broke his phone one day and then next morning after being given an iPhone and proudly showing it to me ,said "man's got a iPhone innit"...hes 32,white and was born in norfolk!

Deleted

Can I say 'wigger' then?

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2 hours ago, ratcum said:

Excellent summary of what's wrong with today's bloke Authoritah. I used to spray Brut 33 in my eyes before going to our local chinkie. Thinking I was one of their triad homies; cunts used to give me a discount.   

Trouble is Ratty, I seem to recall Brut 33 being advertised by Henry Cooper and Kevin Keegan engaged in dubious, homo erotic bum slapping shower shenanigans. I've made a right cunt of Myself there. 

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2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Trouble is Ratty, I seem to recall Brut 33 being advertised by Henry Cooper and Kevin Keegan engaged in dubious, homo erotic bum slapping shower shenanigans. I've made a right cunt of Myself there. 

It's perfectly natural to have these feelings Eric. When I was in London, to freshen up before a night out I used to slap Henry Cooper himself all over. Not that permed scouse runt though, especially after he became a Nazi footballist. "Kop that" I said, as I rammed into his Range Rover in a layby.

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56 minutes ago, ratcum said:

 "Kop that" I said, as I rammed into his Range Rover in a layby.

I'm surprised to see that mentioned. I've never met anyone who knows that story. Even Google.

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1 hour ago, ratcum said:

My Aunty Vi used to shove a little bit of burning phosphorus up her mimsy before a night out. Mind you, they had respect in them days

I bet she was still up at 5 in the morning to scrub her front step and complain about the neighbours only washing their nets twice a day though, you could leave your front door open in them days, I remember when all this round here was just fields. You've gotta watch out for them darkies mind.

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18 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Gone are the days when male ablutions consisted of a shit, shower and a shave, a splash of Brut 33 and brush your teeth. These cunts have hair products, 5 bottles of pre shave, moisturiser and non sting after lotion for fucks sake, their bathrooms must look like fucking laboratories. Levi's and Doc Martens replaced by denim tights and little sky blue canvas pumps ( no socks ). Fucking pansies the lot of them. If we get invaded, we're fucked.

I always have the "three S's (like to keep my legs nice and smooth) splash of givency behind the ear, ribbon in the hair  and a nice dress. I'm still waiting for the invasion  

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20 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Didn't he get whacked in the head with a baseball bat as well? Had a briefcase nicked I believe.

He did, but the story was he'd been noncing a young girl and it was her pa and some mates who 'taught him a lesson. (Allegedly.)

This story came from David Dimbleby of all people.

I realise this is prob libelous, but it is what I was told by my sis who worked for Dimbleby at the time. She used to hear all kinds of shit about celebs,

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6 minutes ago, deebom said:

He did, but the story was he'd been noncing a young girl and it was her pa and some mates who 'taught him a lesson. (Allegedly.)

This story came from David Dimbleby of all people.

I realise this is prob libelous, but it is what I was told by my sis who worked for Dimbleby at the time. She used to hear all kinds of shit about celebs,

At the time, I thought it may have been a couple of England fans getting revenge for him missing that header in the World Cup because he flicked his perm rather than just nut the ball, or Trevor Brooking pissed off because the fairy wasted a perfect cross he had delivered.

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1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I bet she was still up at 5 in the morning to scrub her front step and complain about the neighbours only washing their nets twice a day though, you could leave your front door open in them days, I remember when all this round here was just fields. You've gotta watch out for them darkies mind.

To true. and Irish and dogs. When Reggie Kray got his head chopped off, it was Vi what sewed the cunt back on. They say he never looked back after that. When she bad phlegm during the war, she used to bring down Messerschmitts by gobbing at them.  

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  • 1 month later...
On 26/01/2017 at 3:06 AM, Cap'n Cunt said:

Maybe you should wear one of these. That'd shut the fuckers up. Probly.

2014_6608_1_2b-sm.jpg

Nah....the point is it's white cunts talking like day in black cunts.  Nuffink to do wiv da kkk n shit Bruv.  Dya get me yeh

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Guest Snatch
10 hours ago, Monumental cunt said:

Nah....the point is it's white cunts talking like day in black cunts.  Nuffink to do wiv da kkk n shit Bruv.  Dya get me yeh

Nuff respek brah.

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1 hour ago, Snatch said:

There really is no fucking hope for the future. Somebody shoot this stupid cunt before he gets any older.

Dig this rap. Yo,representin'.

 

Some people are only still alive because its illegal to kill them,if he was british I would hunt the cunt down and hang him upside down by his knackers using those cheap 'gangsta' chains that hang off his scrawny,thick,ginger fucking shoulders."Mans a Cunt innit"

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