Witheredscrote Posted March 3, 2017 Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 1 minute ago, Ape said: Fuck off. Arbroath3 : Forfar Athletic 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted March 3, 2017 Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 The ABC of Epicurean Cooking by Ape A. Is for apple, which you peel and core then discard the rest. P. Is for pancake, which you find in a field. E. Is for egg, which I get at Easter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted March 3, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 9 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said: Send them back, complain to the manufacturers and say they made you puke, then do the same to Tescos, you might well get a couple of £25 vouchers out of them. Alternatively, make them yourself you lazy fucking cunt, "My dear, I'll cook a treat for you tonight, oven chips and minute steak...." Fucking hell, she still with you? I fucking wish... Ding, ding, ding, if you wish to convey an opinion to me on my nom, please don't use your trademark multi quote nonsense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted March 3, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 Just now, 'eavensabove said: The ABC of Epicurean Cooking by Ape A. Is for apple, which you peel and core then discard the rest. P. Is for pancake, which you find in a field. E. Is for egg, which I get at Easter. It's coming - I can feel the meltdown brewing. Jazz is gonna blow! Again! All we have to do now is mention his kid! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted March 3, 2017 Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 Just now, Ape said: Ding, ding, ding, if you wish to convey an opinion to me on my nom, please don't use your trademark multi quote nonsense. Your nom is shit, it needs 'jazzing' up a bit.... ..oh hang on, maybe not.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted March 3, 2017 Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 2 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said: I didn't rattle your cage, and I didn't ask for your like, fuck off. Ooops. I thought it read Dislike this (as it is an Ape thread) which begs the question why don't we have one? You'd be Top Dog! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted March 3, 2017 Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 6 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: Ooops. I thought it read Dislike this (as it is an Ape thread) which begs the question why don't we have one? You'd be Top Dog! WE don't have one because the server would explode on your profile within a couple of minutes. Now fuck off again, you're due another meltdown I believe, it's gone half-past already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted March 3, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 11 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: Ooops. I thought it read Dislike this (as it is an Ape thread) which begs the question why don't we have one? You'd be Top Dog! Are you still an alcoholic? it's time you changed your user name back to Jazz, so I can properly focus my contempt for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted March 4, 2017 Report Share Posted March 4, 2017 10 hours ago, Ape said: I decided tonight to cook steak and chips for me and the Mrs, as the kids were out for the night at friends. Anyway, I purchased the ingredients from my local Supermarket (yes Punky, you stupid little fucking wanker, it was Tesco. Happy now, you utter twat?) and this included some nice chunky chips. The bag looked big enough to feed six adults, but once I'd opened it and examined the contents, it became apparent that the fuck-cunt manufacturers had made up the total weight by adding loads of shrapnel which, if cooked for the prescribed time, would have ended up like carbon 14. Once I'd cherry picked the decent chips out of the bag, there were enough to feed three adults, and the rest went in the bin. Utter cunts, and it happens everywhere - even in Booths Punkape, you faux-rich piece of fucking shit. I'm also going to add a cursory "fuck off Withers, you utter cunt" and a "silence, cretin" for IKTC, in anticipation of some typically moronic comments from the pair of idiots. What the fuck is this nonsense? You are effectively saying you cant cook oven chips you cunt. The small ones are the best ones you philistine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted March 4, 2017 Report Share Posted March 4, 2017 43 minutes ago, deebom said: What the fuck is this nonsense? You are effectively saying you cant cook oven chips you cunt. The small ones are the best ones you philistine. He really is quite useless, the racist cunt. The way he is going on, he will be banned. 'Goodbye Mr Chips' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted March 4, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 4, 2017 54 minutes ago, deebom said: What the fuck is this nonsense? You are effectively saying you cant cook oven chips you cunt. The small ones are the best ones you philistine. What I'm saying, dopey, as clearly stated in the title of the nom, is that the total weight of frozen foods, like oven chips, is made up by adding tiny shards. These are so small that when cooked along with the regular sized chips, they are basically cremated. So I'm not "effectively saying I can't cook oven chips" at all. Tell me, when you cook oven chips, where the small ones are the best ones, do you set individual timers for each chip, or do you enjoy eating carbon? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted March 4, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 4, 2017 16 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said: He really is quite useless, the racist cunt. The way he is going on, he will be banned. 'Goodbye Mr Chips' With what's left on here these days, you in particular, being banned seems like an attractive option. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted March 4, 2017 Report Share Posted March 4, 2017 Ignore em Ape. I think it's nice when a man makes an effort for his missus. Mr Gobbler occasionally cooks a steak sizzler for me with onions peppers salad and mirin dressing and it's always appreciated. Then I have to clean the kitchen, shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted March 4, 2017 Report Share Posted March 4, 2017 12 hours ago, Ape said: It's coming - I can feel the meltdown brewing. Jazz is gonna blow! Again! All we have to do now is mention his kid! And what kid would that be? Perhaps you'd like to answer? At least my two kids don't belong in a care home for the malnourished, plus I know they are mine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted March 4, 2017 Report Share Posted March 4, 2017 1 hour ago, nobgobbler said: Ignore em Ape. I think it's nice when a man makes an effort for his missus. Mr Gobbler occasionally cooks a steak sizzler for me with onions peppers salad and mirin dressing and it's always appreciated. Then I have to clean the kitchen, shit. See, a half-fucking-hearted job.... not like me, I'm perfect.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted March 4, 2017 Report Share Posted March 4, 2017 2 hours ago, Ape said: What I'm saying, dopey, as clearly stated in the title of the nom, is that the total weight of frozen foods, like oven chips, is made up by adding tiny shards. These are so small that when cooked along with the regular sized chips, they are basically cremated. So I'm not "effectively saying I can't cook oven chips" at all. Tell me, when you cook oven chips, where the small ones are the best ones, do you set individual timers for each chip, or do you enjoy eating carbon? You dope. If you cannot separate the shrapnel and/or shards from a bag of fucking chips before putting the edible ones in an oven, then you truly are some kind of cunt. And there you are trying to suggest that all of my threads are shit! Who gives two fucks about your obvious inabilities. Effectively saying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted March 4, 2017 Report Share Posted March 4, 2017 3 hours ago, deebom said: What the fuck is this nonsense? You are effectively saying you cant cook oven chips you cunt. The small ones are the best ones you philistine. Ape? What a guy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Roops Posted March 4, 2017 Report Share Posted March 4, 2017 13 hours ago, Ape said: It's coming - I can feel the meltdown brewing. Jazz is gonna blow! Again! All we have to do now is mention his kid! 5 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: And what kid would that be? Perhaps you'd like to answer? At least my two kids don't belong in a care home for the malnourished, plus I know they are mine. @Ape & @'eavensabove , calm down. You are both pushing yourselves over the precipice. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted March 4, 2017 Report Share Posted March 4, 2017 1 hour ago, Mrs Roops said: @Ape & @'eavensabove , calm down. You are both pushing yourselves over the precipice. With any luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted March 4, 2017 Report Share Posted March 4, 2017 57 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said: See, a half-fucking-hearted job.... not like me, I'm perfect.... ...a real Yorkshire gent Ding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted March 4, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 4, 2017 1 hour ago, 'eavensabove said: You dope. If you cannot separate the shrapnel and/or shards from a bag of fucking chips before putting the edible ones in an oven, then you truly are some kind of cunt. And there you are trying to suggest that all of my threads are shit! Who gives two fucks about your obvious inabilities. Effectively saying. If you have bothered to actually read the nom properly, you'd have understood that it's the fact I have to remove the shards from the bag in the first place, that they are there in the first place, that fucks me off. Utter fucking cretin of the first order. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted March 4, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 4, 2017 1 hour ago, Witheredscrote said: With any luck Oh look, the cowardly goose pokes out its head again. Fucking idiot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted March 4, 2017 Report Share Posted March 4, 2017 7 minutes ago, Ape said: Oh look, the cowardly goose pokes out its head again. Fucking idiot. Is that a bit like The Turtles Head? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted March 4, 2017 Report Share Posted March 4, 2017 14 minutes ago, Ape said: If you have bothered to actually read the nom properly, you'd have understood that it's the fact I have to remove the shards from the bag in the first place, that they are there in the first place, that fucks me off. Utter fucking cretin of the first order. You do realise who you are trying to explain it to don't you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted March 4, 2017 Report Share Posted March 4, 2017 27 minutes ago, Ape said: Oh look, the cowardly goose pokes out its head again. Fucking idiot. Oh dear Ape, so much anger. You have a chip on your shoulder, probably a burnt one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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