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Frozen Food Shrapnel


Ape™️

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I decided tonight to cook steak and chips for me and the Mrs, as the kids were out for the night at friends. Anyway, I purchased the ingredients from my local Supermarket (yes Punky, you stupid little fucking wanker, it was Tesco. Happy now, you utter twat?) and this included some nice chunky chips. The bag looked big enough to feed six adults, but once I'd opened it and examined the contents, it became apparent that the fuck-cunt manufacturers had made up the total weight by adding loads of shrapnel which, if cooked for the prescribed time, would have ended up like carbon 14. Once I'd cherry picked the decent chips out of the bag, there were enough to feed three adults, and the rest went in the bin. Utter cunts, and it happens everywhere - even in Booths Punkape, you faux-rich piece of fucking shit. I'm also going to add a cursory "fuck off Withers, you utter cunt" and a "silence, cretin" for IKTC, in anticipation of some typically moronic comments from the pair of idiots.

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46 minutes ago, Ape said:

I decided tonight to cook steak and chips for me and the Mrs, as the kids were out for the night at friends. Anyway, I purchased the ingredients from my local Supermarket (yes Punky, you stupid little fucking wanker, it was Tesco. Happy now, you utter twat?) and this included some nice chunky chips. The bag looked big enough to feed six adults, but once I'd opened it and examined the contents, it became apparent that the fuck-cunt manufacturers had made up the total weight by adding loads of shrapnel which, if cooked for the prescribed time, would have ended up like carbon 14. Once I'd cherry picked the decent chips out of the bag, there were enough to feed three adults, and the rest went in the bin. Utter cunts, and it happens everywhere - even in Booths Punkape, you faux-rich piece of fucking shit. I'm also going to add a cursory "fuck off Withers, you utter cunt" and a "silence, cretin" for IKTC, in anticipation of some typically moronic comments from the pair of idiots.

Should have got yourself a bag of maris pipers and done your own chips. Nothing better,  than your own chips 

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7 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Should have got yourself a bag if maris pipers and done your own chips. Nothing better,  than your own chips 

I'd normally do wedges rather than chips as you suggest, but I was after a quick fix tonight. Won't be doing that again.

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6 minutes ago, Ape said:

I'd normally do wedges rather than chips as you suggest, but I was after a quick fix tonight. Won't be doing that again.

 They always have a 'We're sure that these chips will reach you in perfect condition..bleh bleh bleh...but if you're not satisfied..bleh...bleh..bleh'  Well, shit in the bag and send it back and say you're not satisfied as one chip seems a bit off. See how they fucking like it. 

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Guest 'eavensabove
24 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Should have got yourself a bag if maris pipers and done your own chips. Nothing better,  than your own chips 

He hardly has the ability to peel a spud! It's his wife I feel for. Steak & Wedges he usually does for her.

A Misteak too I'd warrant.

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Guest 'eavensabove
51 minutes ago, Ape said:

I decided tonight to cook steak and chips for me and the Mrs, as the kids were out for the night at friends. Anyway, I purchased the ingredients from my local Supermarket (yes Punky, you stupid little fucking wanker, it was Tesco. Happy now, you utter twat?) and this included some nice chunky chips. The bag looked big enough to feed six adults, but once I'd opened it and examined the contents, it became apparent that the fuck-cunt manufacturers had made up the total weight by adding loads of shrapnel which, if cooked for the prescribed time, would have ended up like carbon 14. Once I'd cherry picked the decent chips out of the bag, there were enough to feed three adults, and the rest went in the bin. Utter cunts, and it happens everywhere - even in Booths Punkape, you faux-rich piece of fucking shit. I'm also going to add a cursory "fuck off Withers, you utter cunt" and a "silence, cretin" for IKTC, in anticipation of some typically moronic comments from the pair of idiots.

You should have read the cooking instructions. You're not meant to boil them in the bag.

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Guest DingTheRioja
24 minutes ago, Ape said:

I'd normally do wedges rather than chips as you suggest, but I was after a quick fix tonight. Won't be doing that again.

10 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

 They always have a 'We're sure that these chips will reach you in perfect condition..bleh bleh bleh...but if you're not satisfied..bleh...bleh..bleh'  Well, shit in the bag and send it back and say you're not satisfied as one chip seems a bit off. See how they fucking like it. 

Send them back, complain to the manufacturers and say they made you puke, then do the same to Tescos, you might well get a couple of £25 vouchers out of them.

 

Alternatively, make them yourself you lazy fucking cunt, "My dear, I'll cook a treat for you tonight, oven chips and minute steak...."

Fucking hell, she still with you?

 

Just now, Snatch said:

Off topic on the second post? Nothing to say then.

I fucking wish...

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59 minutes ago, Ape said:

I decided tonight to cook steak and chips for me and the Mrs, as the kids were out for the night at friends. Anyway, I purchased the ingredients from my local Supermarket (yes Punky, you stupid little fucking wanker, it was Tesco. Happy now, you utter twat?) and this included some nice chunky chips. The bag looked big enough to feed six adults, but once I'd opened it and examined the contents, it became apparent that the fuck-cunt manufacturers had made up the total weight by adding loads of shrapnel which, if cooked for the prescribed time, would have ended up like carbon 14. Once I'd cherry picked the decent chips out of the bag, there were enough to feed three adults, and the rest went in the bin. Utter cunts, and it happens everywhere - even in Booths Punkape, you faux-rich piece of fucking shit. I'm also going to add a cursory "fuck off Withers, you utter cunt" and a "silence, cretin" for IKTC, in anticipation of some typically moronic comments from the pair of idiots.

just heating something won't alter the ratio of any element's isotopes Apeness. You could try it with chlorine and get back to us I suppose.

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Guest 'eavensabove
36 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Should have got yourself a bag of maris pipers and done your own chips. Nothing better,  than your own chips 

Nah.. HE should have fucked off for the night and left his wife to cook something decent for the kids. 

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Guest 'eavensabove
2 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said:

Send them back, complain to the manufacturers and say they made you puke, then do the same to Tescos, you might well get a couple of £25 vouchers out of them.

 

Alternatively, make them yourself you lazy fucking cunt, "My dear, I'll cook a treat for you tonight, oven chips and minute steak...."

Fucking hell, she still with you?

 

I fucking wish...

Complain? He hasn't got the bottle.

TESCO see him coming and sold him their shit.

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Guest DingTheRioja
3 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said:

Complain? He hasn't got the bottle.

TESCO see him coming and sold him their shit.

I didn't rattle your cage, and I didn't ask for your like, fuck off.

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