Ape™️ Posted March 3, 2017 Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 I decided tonight to cook steak and chips for me and the Mrs, as the kids were out for the night at friends. Anyway, I purchased the ingredients from my local Supermarket (yes Punky, you stupid little fucking wanker, it was Tesco. Happy now, you utter twat?) and this included some nice chunky chips. The bag looked big enough to feed six adults, but once I'd opened it and examined the contents, it became apparent that the fuck-cunt manufacturers had made up the total weight by adding loads of shrapnel which, if cooked for the prescribed time, would have ended up like carbon 14. Once I'd cherry picked the decent chips out of the bag, there were enough to feed three adults, and the rest went in the bin. Utter cunts, and it happens everywhere - even in Booths Punkape, you faux-rich piece of fucking shit. I'm also going to add a cursory "fuck off Withers, you utter cunt" and a "silence, cretin" for IKTC, in anticipation of some typically moronic comments from the pair of idiots. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted March 3, 2017 Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 Good evening Frank Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted March 3, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 4 minutes ago, Lady Penelope said: Good evening Frank You should consider a trip to Switzerland. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted March 3, 2017 Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 46 minutes ago, Ape said: I decided tonight to cook steak and chips for me and the Mrs, as the kids were out for the night at friends. Anyway, I purchased the ingredients from my local Supermarket (yes Punky, you stupid little fucking wanker, it was Tesco. Happy now, you utter twat?) and this included some nice chunky chips. The bag looked big enough to feed six adults, but once I'd opened it and examined the contents, it became apparent that the fuck-cunt manufacturers had made up the total weight by adding loads of shrapnel which, if cooked for the prescribed time, would have ended up like carbon 14. Once I'd cherry picked the decent chips out of the bag, there were enough to feed three adults, and the rest went in the bin. Utter cunts, and it happens everywhere - even in Booths Punkape, you faux-rich piece of fucking shit. I'm also going to add a cursory "fuck off Withers, you utter cunt" and a "silence, cretin" for IKTC, in anticipation of some typically moronic comments from the pair of idiots. Should have got yourself a bag of maris pipers and done your own chips. Nothing better, than your own chips Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted March 3, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 7 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Should have got yourself a bag if maris pipers and done your own chips. Nothing better, than your own chips I'd normally do wedges rather than chips as you suggest, but I was after a quick fix tonight. Won't be doing that again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted March 3, 2017 Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 6 minutes ago, Ape said: I'd normally do wedges rather than chips as you suggest, but I was after a quick fix tonight. Won't be doing that again. They always have a 'We're sure that these chips will reach you in perfect condition..bleh bleh bleh...but if you're not satisfied..bleh...bleh..bleh' Well, shit in the bag and send it back and say you're not satisfied as one chip seems a bit off. See how they fucking like it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted March 3, 2017 Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 24 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Should have got yourself a bag if maris pipers and done your own chips. Nothing better, than your own chips He hardly has the ability to peel a spud! It's his wife I feel for. Steak & Wedges he usually does for her. A Misteak too I'd warrant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted March 3, 2017 Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 51 minutes ago, Ape said: I decided tonight to cook steak and chips for me and the Mrs, as the kids were out for the night at friends. Anyway, I purchased the ingredients from my local Supermarket (yes Punky, you stupid little fucking wanker, it was Tesco. Happy now, you utter twat?) and this included some nice chunky chips. The bag looked big enough to feed six adults, but once I'd opened it and examined the contents, it became apparent that the fuck-cunt manufacturers had made up the total weight by adding loads of shrapnel which, if cooked for the prescribed time, would have ended up like carbon 14. Once I'd cherry picked the decent chips out of the bag, there were enough to feed three adults, and the rest went in the bin. Utter cunts, and it happens everywhere - even in Booths Punkape, you faux-rich piece of fucking shit. I'm also going to add a cursory "fuck off Withers, you utter cunt" and a "silence, cretin" for IKTC, in anticipation of some typically moronic comments from the pair of idiots. You should have read the cooking instructions. You're not meant to boil them in the bag. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted March 3, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 Just now, 'eavensabove said: He hardly has the ability to peel a spud! It's his wife I feel for. Steak & Wedges he usually does for her. A Misteak too I'd warrant. Fuck off Jazz, you stupid cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted March 3, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 1 minute ago, 'eavensabove said: You should have read the cooking instructions. You're not meant to boil them in the bag. And this is your idea of comedy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted March 3, 2017 Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 Just now, Ape said: Fuck off Jazz, you stupid cunt. I guess when "the chips are down" you make yourself look a complete Cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted March 3, 2017 Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 1 minute ago, Ape said: And this is your idea of comedy? Helpful advice for a numbskull, that's all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted March 3, 2017 Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 44 minutes ago, Ape said: You should consider a trip to Switzerland. I was saying hello to Frank, not you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted March 3, 2017 Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 50 minutes ago, Lady Penelope said: Good evening Frank Off topic on the second post? Nothing to say then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted March 3, 2017 Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 Steak! On the night that he's kids are away... Poor things. I bet they get pilchards on toast when at home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted March 3, 2017 Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 24 minutes ago, Ape said: I'd normally do wedges rather than chips as you suggest, but I was after a quick fix tonight. Won't be doing that again. 10 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: They always have a 'We're sure that these chips will reach you in perfect condition..bleh bleh bleh...but if you're not satisfied..bleh...bleh..bleh' Well, shit in the bag and send it back and say you're not satisfied as one chip seems a bit off. See how they fucking like it. Send them back, complain to the manufacturers and say they made you puke, then do the same to Tescos, you might well get a couple of £25 vouchers out of them. Alternatively, make them yourself you lazy fucking cunt, "My dear, I'll cook a treat for you tonight, oven chips and minute steak...." Fucking hell, she still with you? Just now, Snatch said: Off topic on the second post? Nothing to say then. I fucking wish... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted March 3, 2017 Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 59 minutes ago, Ape said: I decided tonight to cook steak and chips for me and the Mrs, as the kids were out for the night at friends. Anyway, I purchased the ingredients from my local Supermarket (yes Punky, you stupid little fucking wanker, it was Tesco. Happy now, you utter twat?) and this included some nice chunky chips. The bag looked big enough to feed six adults, but once I'd opened it and examined the contents, it became apparent that the fuck-cunt manufacturers had made up the total weight by adding loads of shrapnel which, if cooked for the prescribed time, would have ended up like carbon 14. Once I'd cherry picked the decent chips out of the bag, there were enough to feed three adults, and the rest went in the bin. Utter cunts, and it happens everywhere - even in Booths Punkape, you faux-rich piece of fucking shit. I'm also going to add a cursory "fuck off Withers, you utter cunt" and a "silence, cretin" for IKTC, in anticipation of some typically moronic comments from the pair of idiots. just heating something won't alter the ratio of any element's isotopes Apeness. You could try it with chlorine and get back to us I suppose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted March 3, 2017 Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 3 minutes ago, Lady Penelope said: I was saying hello to Frank, not you. say hello to him for me will you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted March 3, 2017 Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 36 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Should have got yourself a bag of maris pipers and done your own chips. Nothing better, than your own chips Nah.. HE should have fucked off for the night and left his wife to cook something decent for the kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted March 3, 2017 Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 2 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said: Send them back, complain to the manufacturers and say they made you puke, then do the same to Tescos, you might well get a couple of £25 vouchers out of them. Alternatively, make them yourself you lazy fucking cunt, "My dear, I'll cook a treat for you tonight, oven chips and minute steak...." Fucking hell, she still with you? I fucking wish... Complain? He hasn't got the bottle. TESCO see him coming and sold him their shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted March 3, 2017 Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 Don't rise to their bait Ape, you did your best and were let down by the manufacturer. I feel truly sorry for your wasted effort, and please convey my sympathy to your lovely wife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted March 3, 2017 Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 1 minute ago, 'eavensabove said: Complain? He hasn't got the bottle. TESCO see him coming and sold him their shit. Idiotic Welsh turd Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted March 3, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 12 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: I guess when "the chips are down" you make yourself look a complete Cunt. Yes, you certainly do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted March 3, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 3 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said: Don't rise to their bait Ape, you did your best and were let down by the manufacturer. I feel truly sorry for your wasted effort, and please convey my sympathy to your lovely wife. Fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted March 3, 2017 Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 3 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: Complain? He hasn't got the bottle. TESCO see him coming and sold him their shit. I didn't rattle your cage, and I didn't ask for your like, fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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